The Wildling's Heart
by ElfChef
Summary: Eric is a vampire and the greatest defender of The Wildling Coven, the most powerful Coven in the world. He is a telepath who is unable to shield his mind. He is on borrowed time because his sanity is slipping; he is losing himself. Then one day, he finds all that he never dared to hope for in a tiny human woman.
1. Chapter 1

As soon as I arrived in town, I knew something was wrong. Though I was telepathic; the deep feeling of unease had nothing to do with it. A strange kind of hush had befallen my small town. It was as if all of Bon Temps had come to grinding halt. Whatever was going on had to be bad. When I spotted the crowd gathered in front of the police station, I got out of the car to see what was up.

Sheriff Dearborn stated to the crowd, "…We are asking that everyone keep an eye out for anyone or anything suspicious,"

"Say what you mean!"

That irate comment came from Maxine Fortenberry of course. She was the town's unofficial gossip reporter. I wasn't calling her names. That was how she'd always thought of herself.

"Is it some kind of serial killer? Women aren't safe?" Maxine insisted.

Wait, a minute!

Questions and comments began flying at the sheriff faster than he knew what to do with. None of it made any sense to me. I did my best to sort through the chaos. From what I gathered, a woman had been raped and murdered. Here… A serial killer, here in Bon Temps? That wasn't even remotely possible. We had serial drunks, serial idiots but that was about it.

"People, calm down. We don't know anything yet." The sheriff said.

Dearborn looked gruff and sure but he was grinding his teeth, something I knew was a sign of deceit. I dipped into his mind hoping that the victim was no one I knew.

"There is no evidence…"

I didn't hear the rest. Grisly images flooded into my mind and my stomach wretched. I lost my breakfast. In between heaves I tried to get air in and breathe out while stumbling away so I didn't draw attention. Also I was fairly sure the sheriff would appreciate me not defiling the front steps of the station house.

My strong reaction to the images got me the last thing I wanted, attention. All eyes were on me. Maxine's son Hoyt came over and wrapped his arms around me. It was a sweet gesture but touch only made me cringe. It made the thoughts of others louder but I didn't care. I just didn't trust my legs at the moment. Plus Hoyt's thoughts might be able to wash away the ones in my head, the ones filled with blood and gore that I'd garnered from the sheriff.

"You okay Sook?" He asked handing me a handkerchief.

Kenya one of the deputies had a bottle of water under my nose.

I accepted both gratefully. I rinsed out my mouth and then took my time drinking the rest. I wanted to make my exit. There would be no way to do so without eyes on me. When I risked a glance above Hoyts shoulder, the expressions I saw ranged from concern and speculation to disapproval and exasperation. At this point, I didn't have to be in their heads to know what they were all thinking.

Maxine was no doubt thinking I was knocked up and would be needling me for confirmation as soon as she was done publicly interrogating the sheriff. Andy Bellefleur the other deputy was probably thinking the murder was my fault somehow because he was convinced I was cursed. Sheriff Dearborn would be thinking he just wanted this to be over so he could get a drink. For that I couldn't blame him. Everyone else would be thinking, _'Poor crazy Sookie Stackhouse'_.

I smiled at Hoyt so that he would release me. Then I got up on semi steady legs, plastered a smile on my face, all but back to my car. Then I got my ass the hell out of there. I had no words to describe my shock at such a thing happening in my home town. Sure there was crime in Bon Temps? Ours was of the drunken and disorderly or domestic variety. There have also been murders, but again they were domestic, like ten years ago when my Algebra teacher killed his wife and her boyfriend. Even in cases where violence wasn't of an intimate nature, it was never a mystery. That was exactly what this was. A horrifying mystery and the killer was still out there.

Maudette Pickens was the victim's name. The news of her murder spread like a wildfire burning through the quiet of my town. I arrived at work and the murder was the subject of a heated debate. One of the Preachers daughters, Ashley, said that Maudette had been living in sin. I guess some would call it that because she was known for taking home any man that would have her. From what my Gran taught me, all of God's children are sinners. So in my book it didn't matter what or who Maudette did, she didn't deserve what happened to her. No one deserved to die like that.

"So you're saying she got what she deserved?" Dawn fired back at Ashley. "That it?"

It didn't take a telepath to see that Dawn was thinking of dumping her pitcher of iced tea on Ashley. She had gone from holding it like a cup to a weapon. Dawn would do it too and it wouldn't be the first time.

"I'm sorry she's dead and I pray for her soul but she brought whoever murdered her into her home." Ashley said in her better than thou voice. "Bringing home strange men from here, there and everywhere, I mean the sheriff probably doesn't even know where to start."

Sam broke it up before Dawn did something violent. I tried to go on about my shift, serving lunch orders and making small talk but it was impossible. People were either talking about it or were talking about anything else to avoid it. As hard as I tried the images just kept cropping up into the forefront of my mind.

Thoughts and events that I'd garnered from the sheriff were now my memories and they would haunt me. Maudette had been tied spread eagle to her bed and gagged. Blood vessels in her eyes had burst from her screaming and they had been wide open, forever frozen in horror. That was the only damage done to her face.

From her neck down, there were so many burns, cuts and slashes the Medical examiner was yet able to get a final number. There were so many cuts and bruises that he'd stated that it would be impossible to say what had actually killed her. He had stopped counting at seventy-two. The most chilling detail was the most peculiar.

Gruesome as the murder had been, there had been no blood at the scene, or any left in poor Maudette for that matter. More sickening, the authorities still hadn't accounted for it. Bile rose up my throat and I ran into the backroom not sure if I would be sick again. The air in the backroom was often stuffy but I would gladly suffer through it if it would help me purge the memories. It didn't.

"Hey," Sam said from behind me.

Sam Merlotte was my boss and for most my adult life, he was a good friend. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I didn't have to brace myself for an onslaught. That was one of the things I loved about Sam. I didn't hear every single thing that ran through his mind and I'd had a crush on him since like forever.

Aside from immediate family, Sam was the only person I'd trusted enough to reveal what I was. Lately he had been showing interest in me, which made me think he wanted to be more than friends. He was having an internal struggle about our age difference (only five years) and he was going to ask me out soon, or so I'd hoped. That had been the biggest thing on my list of troubles, not this, not death.

"I'll be right out." I said.

"Don't worry about it. I just came to make sure you're okay."

I shook my head. I couldn't even bring myself to describe to him what I'd seen in the sheriff's mind.

"I saw how the sheriff found her. It just seems so unreal. I mean we weren't friends but…"

Even if I didn't have the details, the difference between an accidental death and murder was jarring.

He squeezed my shoulder gently. "Look I was thinking…"

"Yes?"

"You should see about staying with Jason." He said.

Balloon; meet needle. Then I thought about his words. It sparked fear anew.

"Wait, you think it isn't an isolated incident?"

He ran his hand through his hair, sending the sandy red strands sticking on end in every direction. I was overcome with the urge to brush, clip and gel it into place, or at the very least run my fingers through it.

"I don't know, either way you shouldn't be all alone out there right now."

I smiled, feeling touched by his concern but it was completely unnecessary.

"I'll be fine."

I returned to work and when Jessica said she couldn't come in, I took her shift. It wasn't like I didn't need the money. I also didn't want to be home alone with my own thoughts. Often I faced the moral dilemma of using my telepathy for good or evil. With this situation there was no question and I hated it. The possibility that Bon Temps was home to a sadistic serial rapist and murderer was too repugnant for words.

As I worked I sifted through the minds of patrons. By the time Terry and Sam were escorting the waitress to their cars at the end of the night, I'd found nothing. Although what would I have done if I had found the killer was beyond me. Would I risk openly admitting that I was telepathic so that I could help put him behind bars? I knew the answer but hoped like hell it wouldn't come to that.

Maxine Fortenberry was at my door bright and early the next day with a pie in hand. After a night of fitful sleep that was wrought with nightmares, her company was the last thing I wanted but I was raised better than to just ignore a guest at my door. Plus her pies were award winning good. The way I figured, if I was going to be interrogated, I may as well get pie out of it. Without awaiting an invitation she moved to enter once the door was open.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Fortenberry." I greeted.

"Mornin' Sook," she said for her hello. "I came to see about you. A young lady like yourself shouldn't be living out here all your own."

 _"Lest you become a knocked up harlot."_

She didn't say it and I didn't read it from her mind but it was there in every syllable of every word she'd spoken. I bit back a sigh. So it was going to be one of those mornings. Fortunately, for me I've known her long enough to know how to distract her.

"I know what you mean. I still can't believe it." I stated with an over exaggerated shudder.

For good measure, I crossed my body to show that I very truly felt as helpless as she thought I was. I've learned not to argue with stupid people. Sometimes it was best to just jump into the water and pretend to drink the Kool-Aid with them. When dealing with Maxine, that was almost always the way to go.

It didn't take long for me to steer the conversation from me to Maudette's murder. I told her what I'd heard from the bar. It began as a way to distract her but it occurred to me that she might know something or at least be able to debunk rumors.

"I don't think we should be worried." I concluded. "I think some sicko she met in a bar in Shreveport did it."

Maxine gave me a look as if I was a poor idiot. Then she looked around her as if we weren't the only people in my house, a house that was in the middle of nowhere mind you.

"You didn't hear it from me, but Dearborn's wife told me he was out in Shreveport all night."

"They have a suspect?" I asked genuinely hopeful.

She shook her head. After pausing for what I assumed was dramatic effect she said, "They got three dead girls, three!"

The number ran through my head and I was equal parts terrified and shocked. Three dead women in a city the size of Shreveport would have been reported on the news and I'd heard nothing about it. Surely she was fibbing.

"They're checking with other parishes and nearby cities today, for a pattern."

Her voice had dropped to a whisper. It didn't shame me one bit that I hung on every word.

"Do they?" I asked.

"Too soon to tell but depending on what they find, they'll call in the FBI!"

"Get out!" I gasped.

I was aghast but she seemed excited and particularly proud of herself. I knew I was back on Maxine's radar again but the phone rang. She was close enough and was kind and nosey enough to answer it for me. Thankfully it was only Hoyt, her son. She had borrowed his truck to come mettle in my business and now she had to return it. As she drove away, I knew my interrogation had been postponed not cancelled.

Seeing that I was awake I tried to make good use of my time. I did some light cleaning. Even though the skies were threatening rain, I washed linens and hung them on the line out back. In the heat of early spring in Louisiana, they would dry quickly enough. When that didn't tire me out, I moved on to trying to tend to my grandmother's rose bush.

When Gran was alive the blood red roses had been a thing of beauty. They had brought her great pride and happiness. Since she'd been gone, I'd literally turned the once vibrant flowers into limp vegetables. Still, I tried. Today it wasn't so I could feel closer to her. It was to give my hands a familiar task that would relax my mind.

I just needed to tire myself enough to take a nap; otherwise I would be dead on my feet during my shift tonight. It didn't work. My mind was still on the gruesome murder… no… murders. Maudette wasn't the only victim. Three more women had been brutally murdered a car ride away from where I lived. I couldn't unhear, unsee, or unlearn any of the gory details and now it was multiplied by four.

If, and it was a very big 'If', I wanted to believe in what Maxine had told me, then there really was a sadistic serial rapist and murderer in the area. Best case scenario, the FBI would get involved and this psycho would be caught before he killed again. That would be great but knowing Maxine that little detail might have been added just to wow me. I sighed feeling annoyed with myself. I should have dipped into Maxine's mind. After what I saw yesterday, being in my head was proving to be nearly too much.

At some point between thinking of what to have for lunch and actually preparing anything, I fell asleep. Thankfully this was a deep and dreamless sleep. When I awoke Tina, my mostly outdoors cat had come in to hide from the rain. I rubbed my eyes trying to get my baring but the clap of thunder sent me running out to the back yard.

I was unclipping and rolling the sheets in the baskets as fast as I could, not bothering to fold. I was on the last item, a pillow case when I saw a flash of light and then saw a tree fall not too far from me. I screamed and leapt back dragging my load with me. Lightning may never strike in the same place twice but that had been too close for comfort. I'd taken two steps when it dawned on my foggy mind that the lightning wasn't followed by thunder.

I looked over my shoulder but what I saw confused me entirely. Blurs of movement were dancing just behind the shroud of trees that bordered the woods beside my house. The wind raged in places like a tornado. It snapped branches, whipped up leaves and debris and took down trees in some places. There was a vicious shattering noise as the two gusts clashed and splintered a boulder. Then the wind stopped whirling and I saw a figure.

It was a tall man with a sword in hand and a dead body at his feet. I knew the body was dead because it was headless. Until right then I would have chalked this up as a freak thing. Hell, it could have been a signal of my descent into pure insanity. This, what I thought I was seeing couldn't be real. I wanted to scream, and run but he was looking right at me.

Instinct took over and like the prey I froze, hoping that the predator would lose interest. I couldn't make my feet move. I couldn't even make myself drop the stupid laundry basket. In fact I was gripping it tighter as if it was as shield that would protect me. I was still holding onto that delusion when he took a step forward. That snapped me out of my suspended state. I shucked my burden and ran.

Before I reached the steps I hit a wall that came quite literally out of nowhere. I would have gone tumbling backwards but the wall wasn't a wall. It was another man. He caught me and I braced for the onslaught of thoughts but they didn't come. His hands were gloved and that couldn't be good. Between blind panic and the water in my eyes, all I could see was the black and red of his apparel. I screamed then, fighting hard to get away. I kicked, and scratched, and screamed some more.

I did everything I could to break free but the hold he had on me was like steel. His hold didn't budge. It remained steady as I was undoubtedly dragged off to my slow and horrible death. It was strange really to know that I was going to die. It didn't feel like I thought it would. My life didn't flash before my eyes. There was no time for that. I was still fighting and flailing to break free but the results of my continued struggles were the same, I wasn't going anywhere that he didn't want me to go.

The assailant placed one hand firmly at back of my neck. The other was gripping my chin forcing my gaze upwards. The rain no longer fell on my face. When I opened my eyes, I was staring into a set of forest green eyes. His eyes are pitiless as they bored into mine. That was all I could see, the rest of his face is covered in some kind of ski mask and some kind of visor.

"Be still."

It wasn't a suggestion. It was like he was giving me command that he was sure that I would be helpless against. For the life of me, I had no idea why he would think I would cooperate as he tried to kill me.

"Let go of me!"

I continued to fight. Confusion, it knitted his brow and his eyes narrowed with it. It gave me the opening I needed. I kicked him between the legs with all the force I could muster. The result was instantaneous. He dropped me.

Until I hit the ground, I didn't know I'd been that high up. The pain was jolting but adrenaline made it fleeting. I scrambled to my feet, knowing that this could be my only chance. I got all of two steps before I was forced to face what I'd been running from. What my frantic fighting had prevented me from seeing.

I'd thought…I didn't know what I thought I had haplessly stumbled upon at first but it wasn't…this. There were corpses everywhere. People around me were dead or in varying stages of dying, some were in pieces. Directly ahead, someone or something had its mouth wide opened in what I assumed was a scream. I didn't hear it and somehow that made it that much more terrifying.

That person didn't have long to suffer. A sword detached its head from the rest of him. It rolled away like a bouncy dodge ball with eyes wide open. The eyelids blinked once; twice and then nothing. Like Maudette, the dead lifeless eyes stared up at me until a wall of black and red monsters obscured my view. The unimaginable horror, the pure terror, and the confusion to my senses finally become too much. My vision flickered and darkness pulled me under.


	2. Chapter 2

I shot awake with my fists swinging wildly as terrifying memories came crashing back. Frantically my eyes searched my surroundings. Safe, I was safe. I was home. The relief was so overwhelming that I sagged back against the couch.

"Trippy." I muttered to myself.

Damn, it seemed like the details I'd garnered about Maudette's murder were really doing a number on me. This latest nightmare hadn't been anything like the first. It had been too detailed and the fear had felt much too intimate. There had been so much blood, it was raining blood and body parts littered the ground and I was frozen, helpless. I shook my head to further dislodge the images.

To be honest, I didn't think it was the mysterious nature of the murder alone that was getting to me like this. It wasn't even the details that I had garnered from Sheriff Dearborn's mind. It was the fact that the murderer or murderers were still out there. It was the fact that there were three other women that had suffered the same horrific death as Maudette. If only the killer was caught I was sure it wouldn't weigh on me so heavily.

"Oh, good, you are awake."

I had no idea how but I'd missed the dark haired woman seated beside my fireplace. I had also missed the fact that there was a fire in the fireplace. I nearly jumped out of my skin. This woman hadn't featured in my nightmare but there was something in the way she was looking at me that brought that dream to mind.

For starters I didn't know her. She was too calm and comfortable to be some common intruder. She was also wearing my clothes. There was no doubt in my mind that she had been party to the horror that I had witnessed out in the rain, horror that I had written off as a dream.

I stared at the woman, willing her to go away; willing myself to wake up, but it didn't happen. Other things began to register to me, like the sound of rain drumming against the roof top, the feel and weight of my wet hair yet my clothes were dry. Someone had changed them. The thought of this stranger undressing me, of her invading my home wasn't just frightening it was repulsive and infuriating.

That was just one thing about me that couldn't be helped. When I got angry, I got plenty stupid. Reason abated and my emotions took over. I ran for the door but she beat me there. I turned and ran toward the kitchen. There was another door, a phone and a shotgun in close vicinity of that route. She was blocking my way again. I didn't see her move and the pie plate in her arms didn't seem to slow her down as she flittered around my house terrorizing me.

"I understand that this is distressing for you." She said, shoveling a spoonful of pie into her mouth. "You need to calm yourself."

She didn't even look at me so she missed my incredulous expression. Her eyes were fixed on the pie plate. How could I calm myself? There was an intruder in my home and I couldn't get away from her. She was toying with me. She had to be. Surely the aim of all this was to make me die tired?

Well, to hell with that, I would go down fighting.

The closest weapons I could get my hands on were Jason's baseball trophies. They were seated above the fire place. I launched them at her. Jason had been very good at baseball so there were a lot of trophies. None of them hit the mark. She flowed out of the way as if she saw them coming a mile away. When I ran out of trophies to throw, I got my hands on the fireplace pokers, one in each hand.

"Can you at least tell me where I can find more of this?"

I blinked dumbly, too confused to formulate a response and too adrenaline infused to try. However, I came to the conclusion that she was insane, like all serial killers I supposed. She was chasing me around in my house, eating leftover pie and asking me about where to get more. No doubt that was how she and her psychotic friends celebrated after slaughtering people.

"Get out of my house!" I shouted.

In a blink of an eye, steel manacles encircled both my wrists from behind. They forced my arms across my body thus rendering my weapons useless. As tight as the hold on my wrists were, they didn't cause me pain despite my insistent struggle. Or maybe it did and I was too riddled with panic to feel it. When the person holding me tried to pry the pokers from me, I screamed.

Maybe I was dead already? That would explain why I was face to face with an angel. No, as everything about him registered to my senses, I knew that I was wrong. This was no angel everything about him made me want to sin. This was what I presumed the devil looked like when he wanted to tempt and ensnare those who were weak to the temptations of the flesh. I was weak, so very weak.

He is familiar by his height alone. He was the figure in the rain. I had to crane my head up because he was taller than I recalled. Then again he was much closer than before and he was no longer clad in a uniform. Now…he looked like something out a fairy tale, his long muscular legs were clad in grey tights. A light blue tunic with white embroidery was covering his upper half.

It matched his eyes and offered the perfect backdrop to his flowing blond hair. When I say flowing, I meant that his hair fell well over his shoulders and just shy of his waist. If that wasn't enough, I didn't see a single split end. I stared helplessly.

This newcomer could be Rapunzel's much older and hotter brother. His allure was beyond incredible, it was magnetic, even in this dire situation I was not exempt. There was something in his height, his broad shoulders, his strong jaw, his full lips, and his aquiline nose that brought fantasies to mind that I never knew I had. I got to breathe in his scent and it eased my mind which confused me.

His presence alone had slowed the panic bubbling just underneath the surface and I didn't know why. I was still terrified. I was still gripping the fireplace pokers like weapons but somehow he didn't register to me as dangerous. It was stupid because this was the man from the rain, not the one I'd fought but the one that captivated me amidst the chaos. The same one that I'd actually witnessed decapitates someone.

"Berus, she can do no harm." He said, to the person restraining me. "All you are doing is frightening her."

"She is threatening a Wildling. I need her to drop her weapons." The man replied.

The blond reached for the fire place pokers in my hands, and I kicked at him. I connected with his shin. That seemed to shock him; admittedly I was shocked too, to have actually landed a blow.

"I do not want you to harm yourself or anyone else." He told me, reaching for them again. "You are safe."

He was either a dumb blond or he thought I was. I was besieged in my own home by things that couldn't be human. My life was in danger. I didn't care how pretty he was. I kicked him again, this time I aimed a bit higher up but the man restraining pulled me back at the last minute. The man gazed down at me. His expression was probing. I stared back defiantly.

The dark haired woman laughed as she came to stand beside him. "You were more fortunate than Lucky."

She set down the pie plate and clapped him on the back. "I am here. I have her. Go."

What did that mean? Did I even want to know? It was bad…maybe worse than this? I looked to him and he looked at me. His expression was unfathomable. I got the feeling that he didn't want to walk away, that he had so much to say. What did I know? He turned and headed for the door and my eyes followed him. Once he was gone she turned to me.

"You can keep your weapons if you sit down and promise not to use them."

I wanted to utter a bold reply, something along the lines of, 'Hell no!' or 'Pry it from my cold dead hands.'

My anger had burned itself out along with my adrenaline. I was running on fumes. I now had enough sense to see the bleakness of my circumstances. I was outnumbered and overpowered. The only thing that gave me hope was that no one had hurt me, yet.

"What do you want?" I asked. "I don't have money or…"

"We need to talk about what you saw and where we go from here." She told me. "Will you sit down and listen?"

It depended, I supposed.

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked.

Again, I wanted to sound brave and strong and say something daring. I didn't want to cry or beg but my voice cracked. I didn't want to die. I was young. There was so much I hadn't done. The regrets of my short life and the fear could be heard in my voice no matter how much I didn't want it to be there. Having my life in the hands of a total stranger, an apparent nonhuman stranger whose mind I couldn't read was beyond terrifying.

"I'm not going to." She said in a gentler tone. "I need to talk to you about what you saw."

I stared at her waiting for her to laugh, waiting for her to do something that hinted that this was a joke. It wasn't. I wasn't being pranked in a horrible way. Her calm expression drove the point home for me. No one was crazy, not her or me or the handsome devil that had just come and gone. This was real.

The shock of it made me drop my weapons. The jarring noise of metal on wood bounded off the floor and echoed off the walls. It went through me like a hot knife through butter. It was alien much like everything else I'd experienced today. Literally thousands of questions ran through my mind and I was speechless to voice one.

The hands that had been restraining me from behind vanished but my legs were of no use. I swayed on my feet and the dark haired woman wrapped her arms around me. As if I was made of glass, she gingerly led me to the closest seat and set me down. I plopped down without an ounce of grace or poise.

"Are you certain you would not like any?" She asked holding out a spoonful of pie to me. "It is very good."

I shook my head.

"What about a drink?"

Again, I shook my head. I just wanted to skip to the part where she and her friends got the hell away from me. Even though something told me that there was no going back to the normalcy that been my life. No madness or lies I'd heard would be any stranger than the truths I'd been forced to see. I had to listen. It was strange because I didn't know what to feel at this point. There wasn't room for processing anything anymore.

"You have seen things that no human should." She began.

"I won't tell anyone what I saw." I replied. "I swear."

It wasn't just words thrown at her to help get me out of this situation and to get myself away from them. I would take this shit with me to my fucking grave. Even if I didn't, who would believe me if I ever talked? What could I do? March down to the station house and say:

'Yes, Sheriff Dearborn. They had swords and moved at super human speeds? What, no I haven't been drinking.'

What good would that do me? None. What good would it do for the people these monsters had murdered? None. This town was full of people that thought I was strange enough. Talking about any of this would be the last stitch in my straitjacket.

"It is a bit more complicated than that." she replied with a light laugh. "I think at this point you have deduced that we are not human."

Was she for real? I was a hop, skip and jump past that obvious point.

" Yesummam," I drawled dryly. "'Reckon Ima few paces ahead ofya."

"For the sake of clarity could you speak common English, without the dialect? I am not familiar. Enunciate and refrain from hyphenations or contractions as much as possible. "

I stared feeling somewhat bewildered and a little annoyed. "Did you just give me an English lesson?"

"If that is what you call your language." She retorted with a laugh. "Then yes."

I opened my mouth to utter something rude. At the last second I bit my tongue. I wasn't sure if she was trying to insult me or not. I tried to enter her mind again, this time more forcefully than before. I didn't get a single glimmer. If there wasn't proof before that they weren't human, I had it now.

When my telepathy manifested, I was five years old. Since then I'd always had the upper hand in every conversation. In my mind I carried the deepest darkest secrets of an entire town. I knew what mothers abused their children and which men cheated on their wives. It was ironic really. My whole life I had cursed my telepathy. I'd spent more hours than I cared to count wishing it away, imagining how perfect my life would be like without that curse.

Now, that I was in dire straits, my sixth sense was the only thing that could help me but it was useless. That was how I realized that I wasn't as good at reading people as I thought. I was entirely lost. Other than being heartrendingly beautiful, this woman looked just like any other. Her sun kissed skin, a perfect little pixie nose and round hazel eyes with flecks of gold in their center, it made it hard to see her for what she was, a killer.

"I am a vampire." She said.

"Okay, Elvira. I'm Tinkerbelle."

"My name is Thalia. I am confused, who are those people?"

From behind me someone laughed. I had almost forgotten about the other intruder. The man in the black and red uniform was covering his mouth but his laughter wasn't lost. When I glared, he turned into coughing and loud throat clearing. He did however explain my pop culture reference to the other woman. She smiled and that bothered me more than her anger could.

"I am a vampire and you are human." She reiterated. "That is the truth."

"How can you be a vampire? It's the middle of the day and you are eating apple pie."

True, it was rainy day, but it was a spring day all the same. Vampires were deadly allergic to sunlight, everyone knew that. They sure as hell had no need for pies, just blood. Also there were no such things as vampires. They were not real. Suddenly I pitied her; all of them. Surely they were just some creatures off their medication. That was why they were doing this. Either that or they were on some kind of super hardcore crack that offered immunity from telepathy while granting the users super powers.

There were probably other ways for her to prove her point. She went with the fastest and the most terrifying. She opened her mouth and her perfectly straight teeth morphed. The only change was in the top incisors. They elongated into a sharp pointed fangs that were meant for more than biting. They could rip my throat open.

"As I said, 'I am a vampire and you are a human', and we need to talk."


	3. Chapter 3

"So y'all killed those people…so you could drink their blood?"

She laughed but otherwise didn't respond to my query. "In addition to being physically superior, most vampires are able to influence the will of humans. You are not the first human to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and happen upon something you should not. It happens and the solution is a simple one, implantation or deletion of memory."

All I could think of was mind control and if a hat made from tin foil would do me any good. Then I remembered the man out in the rain, the one with the green eyes. Was that what he had been attempting to do to me instead of break my neck? Was that why he had felt so confident giving me such an absurd command? It had to be! No wonder he had been shocked when I didn't comply.

"Lucky attempted to do this out in the rain." She said, confirming my suspicions. "He got his eggs scrambled in the process. He is not happy."

She laughed as if that was the funniest thing to ever happen. Meanwhile, I was there with my mouth hanging open, catching flies.

"I don't understand, how?"

She shrugged. "The eyes see, but it is the mind that translates what is seen. When we look into the eyes of mortals we can alter their interpretation of events and control their actions. Lucky would have put you to sleep. He could have hidden what you saw under veils of a bad dream or a novel or a film."

That way they didn't kill people who see into their crazy world. They had discretion. They weren't indiscriminant killers. Maybe they wouldn't kill me? Until right then I didn't know that I had been holding out hope but I had. It made me think of the tall handsome blond one. I hadn't felt an ounce of ease since he left. Had he wanted to wipe the memories from me too? It had to be the case. I had actually seen him in action. Just as hope from that realization began to take root, she quashed it.

"That cannot happen for you."

Sonofabitch!

"Why not?"

"Your mind cannot be tampered with because you do not 'see' in the way mortals do." She stated. "I have heard of the phenomenon but never experienced it, until today."

I refused to accept that.

"Maybe you could try again?" I suggested. "I won't try to kick you or fight or anything, now that I know you don't want to hurt me."

I didn't want to know. I certainly didn't want to possibly risk my life for things that I never wanted to see in the first place.

"I want to forget." I said desperately

"I believe you but in your case, the bell cannot be unrung. We have tried." She said. "As you sit across from me now, I am trying still."

I locked eyes with her and she looked like someone who was focused on a particularly difficult math problem. I waited and hoped but I didn't feel anything as she continued to gaze intently into my eyes.

"Nothing." She concluded.

I was always privy to things that I wanted no knowledge of. Although it had never damned me in my whole life as it did in this moment. It was just my luck. This kind of shit would only happen to me. It wasn't easy being me. Some days like today, when I realized that even to mythical creatures I was a freak, being Sookie Stackhouse felt downright awful.

"Through no fault of your own, you now pose a risk to our exposure. How that is resolved will be left to you. My role here is to provide you with information to better make a choice. So, ask me what you want to know, anything."

"You're not going to kill me?"

"That is a last resort."

"What's the first option?" I wondered.

"To marry me," I looked behind her because tall, blond and sexy had returned.

I laughed because surely it was a joke. It really had to be. No one else thought so. Beside him was another man. This one was also in the same black and red uniform. I knew him at least by his eyes. By the frown he was shooting my way, he remembered me too. If he was expecting an apology for me kicking him in the family jewels, he wasn't going to get one. Both men came into the sitting room.

"I am Eric and this is Lucky." The blond one said. "I chose him for you as your sponsor."

That could literally mean anything to me. They sat down and the other uniformed vampire left. It was just me, all alone with three vampires in my living room. I turned to Thalia.

"That information you said, you are supposed to give me, I would like it now please."

I was proud of myself for sounding so calm because I felt anything but.

"Can you be more specific?" she asked.

"How are you real? How is any of this possible?"

"We are not monsters-" Eric began.

"Mister, from where I'm sitting, I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you on that one." I retorted.

"What you saw was regrettable—" The red head, Lucky began.

I cut him off too.

"What I saw was murder."

Thalia laughed. "Ooh...I like her."

Both men shot her exasperated looks. She sighed

and faced me. "That was a sanctioned execution for crimes too numerous and too heinous to list. They were vampires too, Turned Ones to be precise."

Right now I felt like I was swimming at sea in the dead of night. I didn't think there was anything any of them could tell me that could explain the bloodshed I'd witnessed but I hoped for the tiniest portion of clarity.

"Night children or vampires as humans lamely refer to us are divided into to four main races. Halflings and Purebreds are born just like you and every other living thing. That is why we sleep and breathe and, yes, eat pie. Those who are changed or Changelings were once humans who became vampires. Lastly there are the Turned Ones."

She was talking and I was listening but the blond one was distracting. I could feel his eyes practically drilling a hole on the side of my face. What was he looking at? Was he trying to get into my mind? I risked a glance at him and his eyes were as arresting as they had been when I first saw him.

He didn't look away even though he'd clearly been caught staring. In fact the intensity of his eyes increased and I was helpless all over again. What was with this vampire? For that matter what was with me? Why didn't I feel fear as he stared at me? Why didn't I see him for what he was, what they all were.

For that matter why did I feel like being closer to him would make all of this easier to bear? His expression was awed and for the life of me I had no idea why. It confused me as much as his delusion that I would ever marry him. All those questions and more ran through my mind as we continued to gaze at each other.

Thalia cleared her throat loudly with a grin on her face. Lucky sighed. I shook my head to clear it.

"As I was saying, methodology is the sole difference between Changelings and Turned Ones." Thalia continued. "Vampire blood heals humans without long lasting effects. To Change one over, blood must be administered steadily until the blood in their veins becomes more vampire than human. Then the change is set."

Gross, yet fascinating.

"With those two factors, there is no reason for Turned Ones. They should not exist—"

"I think it best to forgo this portion." That came from Eric, who by the way was still staring at me.

Thalia looked to me as if asking permission.

"I want to know."

"It would only serve to frighten you." He said.

In for a penny, in for a pound, I was plenty scared as it was I might as well know just how much worse it can be. Also the fact that Eric didn't want me to know suggested that it was worth hearing.

"Turned Ones should not exist, all vampires know this but the absolute power that mode provides is a seduction that many cannot resist."

"Like the mind control?" I wondered.

"We call it Glamour and no, Turning a human is nothing like that." She replied. "Glamour is a process that alters how memories and perceptions are transcribed by the mind. It is not physical."

When she explained it like that it became painfully obvious why it didn't work on me. My method of transcribing information was too different. If I went blind today I would still be able to see as long as there was another person around (a human person that was). When I looked up Eric was still staring.

"Can you make him leave?" I asked no one in general. "I'm having a hard time focusing."

I wasn't looking in his direction but I felt his intangible thrall wane, signaling he was gone. He didn't go far. I found that while I couldn't read any of their minds I could locate them. It felt like a black hole in the ether where their consciousness should be emanating from.

"A Turning takes everything a human being is, all they will ever be and rips it from them, often by force. This is accomplished by drinking them to the point of death, then pouring blood into the corpse to reanimate it. This is what gives the vampire 'Maker' full control over their mind, and body. They become no more than puppets on strings. They could be made to do anything, no matter how horrible with a single command."

I had been wrong, so wrong. This was a new level of fear. How was something like that even possible?

"To thrust someone headlong into the depths of death and then wrench them back, it warps and mangles their minds. When they come back, they are the creatures of legend, undead, vicious beyond anything you can comprehend. That is what we chased to your doorstep. That was what we fought and that was what we killed."

"They killed Maudette." I whispered to myself.

I tried to explain to her about the murder but she already knew. "We hunted their Maker an enemy of our Coven. We didn't know he had created so many of them. When we killed him, his hold over them was broken. Their will was their own and it was madness. In the day it took to us to track and execute all twenty-three of them, they had claimed sixteen lives."

They had been in my woods. I felt terror right down to my bones both at that and the realization of what may lay in my future if I took the option of marriage. I would have to become one of them. That was the only way I would be allowed to walk away from this. That was the only way to ensure that their secret would be safe with me. Or else they would ensure that it died with me. I was shaking my head and it was clear that they knew that I had reached the obvious conclusion.

"I need another option." I said facing Thalia.

"There is no other." Lucky told me. "What you know threatens our secrecy. The only way you live is to become Wildling. I am here to ensure that your choice, whatever it is, is honored."

They left me alone and it was all I could do not to fall apart. It felt like the world was spinning off its axis and I was going to crash and burn from the force of it. I slid off my seat and down to the floor and focused on the most important thing, trying to breathe. I closed my eyes and tucked my head between my knees.

In and out: in and out. Don't think, just breathe.

I saw the stupid trophy on the floor where I'd left it. I took it and threw it again. Once I broke the silence in the home, I broke with myself and hysteria came. It had been there waiting for the scales to tip and this was it. I was crying and shaking and screaming. I was scared of what I knew and just as scared of everything I didn't.

My God! I was late for work.

I looked at the phone; none of the lights on the portable model were working. It had been disconnected. No one knew I was besieged by vampires, who were insisting I marry another vampire, one I'd just met. It was either that or death.

In that moment my life flashed before my eyes. It was so sad and pathetic that it took just a second, not because I was young but because I'd never done much of anything or been anywhere. The life I'd had, short as it was, was riddled with shame, regret, pain and grief. Until I was five, my life was normal.

If it had remained that way I would have spent the next twenty years actually living, instead of hiding. I would have done more. I wanted to assume that I would have left this small town but deep down I knew it would have been the opposite. I would have had a husband if not children years ago. My home wasn't just my refuge, I didn't just love it. It was all I had to connect me to all the family I'd once had and lost.

Gran used to say that a woman, any woman worth her salt would do what she had to. Though beaten and broken, she had raised two grandchildren and tried to save a third that was lost to drugs. She had done it with grace and dignity and with love. I had to do what I had to do now too but…I couldn't. God, help me I couldn't. I couldn't do it. I didn't even want to.

The panic subsided as I made my decision. I was a Stackhouse, one of the only two remaining. This was my home. It was all I knew. I would die in it before I let someone take it or take me from it. I was seated alone at my kitchen table when they returned. It could have been hours later I didn't know. It had been enough time to clean the kitchen and fold the laundry.

"Last resort," I said calmly.

It was clear that it shocked them and I didn't know why. Who in the right mind would take what they were offering? For that matter how often did something like this have to happen? I didn't know, but what did it matter now? It would be Lucky that was going to kill me. He was the only one in uniform. He looked pained but only for a second, and then his visor slid over his face.

I wondered if he knew that it took everything I had not to scream and beg. The fact that he wasn't going to kill me slowly or enjoy it helps, not much, but it helps. He disappeared and I closed my eyes bracing for death. I felt arms around my waist and the air shift faster than I could follow. I felt the warmth of his body and the power of his arms as he hid me behind his back.

"She will not die."He said.

"It's not up to you." Lucky said. "You know that I have to protect her choice no matter how badly I don't want to!"

"Let me talk to her alone. I can change her mind."

It was hard to even get a glimpse of what was going on never mind get a word in. Still, I wanted to jump in and say something. They were talking about me like I wasn't there.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be." Lucky said.

There was a note of finality to his words that made Thalia move from her place by the door and toward the center of the room, thus placing her out of sight. That just couldn't be good. I was expecting a fight but Eric stepped aside.

"I am asking this of you, as your brother, as Marisol's godfather, as your friend and as a Wildling in need. I need you to give me this one thing, please."

I didn't have a clear view of Lucky's face but I knew he would cave even before I heard him curse colorfully.

"If you tell him you wish to speak with Eric alone, he must agree." Thalia said dragging me into this.

All eyes were on me again. I was only consumed with Eric and not Lucky who, seconds ago had been about to end my life. Eric was fixated with me and I had no idea why. If I thought it was sexual it wouldn't unsettle me. If I had some clue as to why a drop dead hunk like him was obsessed with me, it might not frighten me.

Sure, I was pretty. I was happy with what God gave me. I was curvier that what was conventional but I still looked fine in a bikini. Eric seemed almost desperate to make me his wife and that was doubly baffling. He could literally have any woman he wanted. Nothing explained why he was clearly going out of his way, clashing with his friend just to get me to marry him.

I hadn't wanted him in the room with me earlier. Being alone with him now wasn't something I was sure I wanted. As he peered down at me down at me his, his gaze was less intense but his expression was beseeching. Suddenly, I felt…wrong, guilty. The sense of dedication I felt to this stretch of land and the history of those that came before me wasn't gone. It now had him to combat. It was absolutely ridiculous but it didn't help me shake the feeling.

"What is five minutes of your time compared to the finality of death?" Eric asked.

When he put it like that it made sense, at least as much sense as I wanted it to. Maybe I was trying to drag out the inevitable. It could be that maybe way down deep inside I was hoping he had a plan, another option. Maybe I was a sucker for a pretty face, I didn't know. Whatever the reason I found myself nodding.

"I want to talk to him."


	4. Chapter 4

"What harm can it do?" Thalia said. "He cannot influence her will and there is no place for her to go."

"Very well, give me your key." Lucky said to Eric.

Eric pulled a thin braided bracelet off his wrist and handed it over. How that qualified as a key was beyond me. I watched the interaction with more questions than I knew what to do with. Before I could think to ask, both Lucky and Thalia left. It was now just me and this vampire.

"Please, sit." He said holding a chair for me.

I sat but only after he had. His eyes were piercing blue; their depth boundless. No one should look as good as he did. It was an alien blend of raw beauty and something else, something inexplicable and irresistible.

"You fought Lucky with everything you had in you." He began.

It wasn't a question but I nodded just for something to do other than stare like a professional buffoon. Fear I could understand. Confusion at the series of events was also understandable. This, what I felt at just looking at his face this close was impossible. It was like I cared and didn't understand why.

"How does someone who fought so hard to live suddenly chooses to die?"

"There are worse things." I reminded him. "Things that you didn't want me to know."

I waited for him to deny it, yet he didn't. "Yes. I felt like you had seen enough bad. I did not want you to know the worst because there are good things too."

"Not from where I'm sitting, plus giving up my freedom is something I wouldn't do for anyone, least of all a total stranger."

The fact that he wasn't human was just the icing on the fucking cake. Angry as I felt about it all, I wondered why I was tempering my anger and softening my tone for him. Maybe he was messing with my head? I wanted to believe that he wasn't, that I felt like me, confused, scared, angry and all.

"I need you to be my wife."

I stared at him utterly dumbfounded. What was worse I believed every single word of his proclamation and the desperation I felt behind it. That somehow made it harder to accept.

"What is the matter with you people?" I asked. "I know you are not human but you can't just barge in on someone's life and then give them a choice of marriage or death. No matter how nice you are about it, it's still wrong."

My burst of anger burnt out quickly and I was just left there panting with my impotent rage. He stared blankly but once again he was focused on my face intently, making me feel like I was the crazy one. I saw the emotions as they played across his face. He seemed perversely confused. I say perverse because he seemed happy somewhat.

"I am unsure how to proceed." He said.

"You're crazy." I concluded.

"Not entirely, at least not yet," he replied, his smile vanishing. "That is why I chose you. You can save me. I know this."

For the life of me I had no idea what he thought I could do for him.

"I am a telepath." He told me.

For what felt like forever that one word resounded in my skull, 'Telepath'.

Eric was a telepath. How could that be? I've never been anywhere but home but I just assumed I would never get to meet anyone else that shared this curse. That the first would be someone of an entirely different species was just too disconcerting for words. It left me wondering. Did he know what I was? I didn't think so but then how did he think I could help him? Questions, I had so many of them but I bit my tongue not sure if it would do more harm than good to go blabbing.

"My ability, it is not a secret at home." He continued. "What isn't known is the fact that it is eating away at me. The thoughts are always there; like a never ending wave crashing against the shores of my sanity."

He was admitting that he was losing his mind and instead of fear I felt pity. From what he was describing he couldn't shield at all. If that was true how was he sitting here, so calmly? Instead of that truth marring his outward beauty it made him even more so. The sadness in his eyes turned into something deeper more harrowing, haunting. He looked a million miles away.

"I haven't slept in days." He says. "In the beginning it was because the thoughts were too loud. Now, I cannot control what I do, where I go when I sleep. I haven't been alone in my own head in what feels like an eternity and I feared I never would be, until today, until you."

Wait, what?

"You can't read my mind?"

He shook his head, a ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Your mind is as silent to me as a statue. Even as I sit here close enough to touch you and I hear nothing."

He was actually trying to read my mind? I didn't even feel the pressure that was present when someone was thinking about me intently. His right hand reached across the table, slowly, intent on touching me. I should shrink back but I was caught up in his eyes and reeling from his revelation. It was that and a small stupid, very stupid, part of me wanted him to touch me. His long tapered fingers caress the back of my hand and with every caress, heat spread through me.

"I can read your presence in every other way but this. When I focus on you the quiet of your mind engulfs me in full. It makes every other mind just as silent."

His voice is so full of wonder, meanwhile I felt like I can't breathe. I pulled away and he didn't immediately pull his hand back to his end of the table. He leaned forward as if waiting for my hand to come back into range. I didn't let it and it wasn't because I didn't want to.

While I was still confused on a lot, his fixation with me now made perfect sense. The silence of my mind was what caught his attention out in the rain. It was that silence that he desperately wanted to marry. I understood that desperation and I couldn't fault him for it. From what he was saying, he was a telepath without any ability to shield. The thought made panic prickle all over my skin. That was my idea of hell. He was living it.

"Telepath without a shield" I whispered to myself.

His brow knitted quizzically, "A telepath without a shield?" he asked. "As opposed to a telepath with a shield? Is that a thing?"

I didn't think he'd heard me but I supposed with super speed came super hearing. Briefly I contemplated not admitting what I was. I decided against it. There was no way it could do me any harm at this point.

I nodded. "Yes. I'm that thing. I'm like you…" I admitted. "A telepath, I mean but I can keep minds out. I don't read thoughts unless I want to."

The expression on his face changed from inquisitive to hopeful, impossible even. Oddly enough he didn't seem suspicious, which would be understandable. His eyes got wide and it would be comical if it wasn't beguiling.

"So you know my thoughts."

"No. I can find where you are but I can't see inside any of your heads." I admitted.

"It's a first for me; I don't think I've ever come across anyone not human before. Do you hear everyone?"

He nodded. "Everyone, every single creature within range, I hear their every thought."

I couldn't repress a shudder. For a while back there when I was listening to Lucky the void of his mind had actually been welcomed. Putting up a mental shield, took energy but focusing on their emptiness was easy, like opening a door. Eric didn't have that with his kind or mine. I appraised him again trying to wonder how the hell he was this sane?

"Can you show me how to protect my mind the way you protect yours?" he asked.

Aha! Bargaining chip!

"I guess I can try…" I shrugged and tried to sound nonchalant. "Can you find me a way out of this that doesn't involve marriage or death."

Before I finished the thought he was shaking his head.

Double damn!

"No. You cannot be glamoured and as such you pose a risk of exposure. You have to marry into the Wildlands and become Wildling, or you are going to die. I do not want that."

Well that made two of us.

"Then tell them that." I implored.

"I am very powerful but not even I can protect you from the Laws of my land. We are allowed up to two spouses, if I am not pleasing to your tastes I could…"

I wasn't sure if that meant he was being modest or if he was fishing for compliments. I decided to let that alone for now.

"It has nothing do with that." I argued.

How was I supposed to leave my life, my home and my family behind? It wasn't just that, I would have to go from being me to something else. I couldn't do that.I was just desperate to make him see because sure as I was his only hope, he was mine. All pretense of calm had left me.

"I don't even know you."

"We will have time to learn each other, afterward." He replied. "I will be a good husband to you, the best that I can be, I swear."

What could I say to that? I wanted to remind him that I held all the cards. If he didn't give me what I wanted then he could go on living in the prison of his own mind. I couldn't do it. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I did. I just did not have the stomach or spirit for it.

I looked at him and I thought what life would have been like if Gran hadn't showed me what it was like to be centered. How and where would I have grown up if she hadn't been my silent rock? I'd been in my mother's head as my telepathy manifested. I knew what she would have done with me to spare herself the shame.

"I will return here with you. Once we marry there. I could come back here with you while you teach me to shield." He said.

Compromise, well, sort of.

"Then after we can get a divorce and I don't have to die?"

He shook his head. "You are human."

"Yeah but for how long."

"Always, if that is what you wish." he told me. "That being said, you will leave your body long before we are eligible for a divorce. You would be my wife even though we would be apart."

I wasn't sure how I felt about being married to a vampire that would never be around but still be able to call himself my husband, until the day I died. That meant that I could probably never marry anyone, not that I had men waiting in line or anything. I wanted to believe him and so I did.

Lucky returned and while he'd been away he hadn't gone far. When he came into the room, his eyes were on Eric and then came to me. His question was unspoken. Would he have to kill me or give me away?

I wanted one minute or one million more minutes to work out all the variables of this bargain I was contemplating. I wanted the telepathic vampire to explain his ability to me. Regardless of my doubts and fears, I had hope and there was nothing that furthered my torment quite like that feeling.

"I'll do it…I'll marry him." I answered.

Eric smiled. With the curve of his supple lips and a flash of teeth, it solidified that he truly wasn't human and would never pass for it. Of all the things I'd learned and accepted I couldn't believe that he was like me.

"Congratulations!" Lucky said, clapping Eric on the shoulder as he passed by.

He did the same to me. He sounded really happy for him or us. I could tell that he really thought that this was a good thing.

Thalia came back into the kitchen and she had a very pissed off Tina in her hands. She handed my little black tabby to me.

"You are both very bad hosts." She said, rubbing her right eye. I thought I saw a scratch but it was gone before I could confirm it.

"Technically, you were an intruder so…manners don't apply." I replied unrepentant. "But thank you."

I was grateful that she had brought her to me. I clutched her tightly because at this moment Tina was the only living thing in the house that was familiar.

Thalia jumped into Eric's lap. After a vicious punch to the side, she hugged him and he hugged her back. It was strange thing to watch. If he was really someone that I wanted to marry, I might have died of jealousy on the spot. He wasn't and so the show of affection didn't bother me, not really. Also there was nothing flirtatious about it. She whispered something that I couldn't hear but I found myself straining my ears after he laughed. What did she say to him? Whatever it was, it made Lucky suck his teeth.

"Do not drink anything she gives you, Mate. You'll regret it. Heaven knows I did, for days." Lucky said.

Thalia laughed and stood.

"I won't see you until the ceremony." Eric said coming over to me. "We can talk more after."

Glad that he seemed the most reasonable, I nodded. "Okay."

Thalia gently nudged my shoulder with hers as she passed me. "Congratulations."

Then she pulled Eric toward the door with an impatient huff. He looked back at me as if hating to part ways. It was only me that knew just how true that was. They walked out the door arm in arm. What I noticed was that there were no footsteps to be heard after the door closed behind them. It was as though the mental void of their minds had vanished into thin air. Come to think of it there had been nothing but the opening of the door to announce any of their arrivals. How had they come to be here? I supposed I would find out soon enough.

None of them thought that they had done anything wrong by hijacking my life. Then I had to ask myself how horrible a person Lucky truly was for feeling relieved that he didn't have to kill me. How evil was Eric for clutching at his only hope? I would be just as desperate maybe even more so if I was in his shoes. I couldn't think of anything that I wouldn't do to save my sanity. I understood it, but I was resentful because all of this was happening to me.


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you have things you wish to take with you?" Lucky asked.

I glanced down at Tina and then around my house. I knew it was entirely the same. Not a single thing had changed within the home itself. It was me. My view of the world had been irrevocably shaken. My eyes had seen things that they were never supposed to. The situation was now making me reexamine everything that I thought I knew about the world.

I packed the only suit case I could find. People in this town or in my family never went anywhere. This suitcase was the one Gran had bought for Hadley to use for her class trip to New Orleans so many years ago. I filled it with the essentials and clothes when all I wanted was to cram the whole damn farm house into it.

I wanted to take photographs, books, movies, and knickknacks that adorned my childhood home but what would happen to them in this new place that awaited me? They might get lost or damaged. No, I left them here and hoped that I would see them again.

On an afterthought I did take my favorite quilt as well as my purse and keys. It was to convince myself that I was indeed returning, I just didn't know when. Immediately my mind went to Jason, Sam and my job, if I still had one when I returned. Voicing those things in light of everything else that was happening seemed moot.

Lucky had my suitcase and I carried Tina as we faced the back door. I was equal parts terrified and curious.

"Breathlessness, akin to drowning is common for first time travelers as they pass through dimensions." he said.

This was just a back door. I'd walked through it a million times throughout my life. It didn't lead anywhere but the woods directly to the left and the pot hole ridden driveway to the right. If he was trying to finally shock me into silence he succeeded. I had nothing to say to that.

Lucky took my hand and squeezed my fingers. "Breathe." He said with a wry smile. "You aren't going to suffocate."

"So you don't live under water?" I asked, just to clarify.

The question sounded ridiculous but it could very well be true. Today at noon the thought of having a conversation with a vampire would have also been ridiculous. The thought of having to marry one under pain of death, even more so, but here we were.

He chuckled and I knew he was trying hard not to laugh at me outright. I appreciated his attempt, poor as it may be.

"Just breathe and when it gets hard, don't struggle."

He didn't give me time to process it which was good. My nerves were growing stronger by the second. He opened the door and gently ushered me through, without releasing me, he followed. That's when the magic happened. I heard the click of the door shutting behind us and instead of continuing out into the gloomy twilight night I saw ahead. Everything faded to black. The scene around me shimmers so bright I had to shield my eyes. The ground under my feet fell out, however the hold Lucky had on me kept me from getting lost.

Lucky had been right to caution me like he did. I did feel like was drowning. Naturally I panicked and released the mouth full of air I'd been holding. I fought to breathe and it felt like I was falling through a thousand oceans, I was falling too fast to drown and somehow that made the feeling worse.

The stomach churning sensation lasted for a fraction of a second then finally my feet landed on something solid. I wobbled on impact and bright lights flickered through my lids.

I wasn't sure what to expect when my eyes finally came into focus, I found myself in a great big hall. From the floors to the tall columns that lined the arch ways and the walls, everything was marble. I was surrounded by vampires. All I could hear were voided minds.

"Where are we?" I asked gaping at my surroundings.

"The Wildlands." He told me.

'Where the Wild Things are?'

I supposed in a manner of speaking that was true. For better or for worse, there was no going back now.

"This is where vampires live?"

"Wildling vampires, yes this is home for us. Specifically speaking, we are in the Justice Hall. It is where you will prepare for the wedding and where it will take place."

I followed silently behind Lucky but I was seeing way too much for my mind to catalog. He was also talking to me, making this feel less like a walk to the gallows and more like a walking museum tour in a foreign land. Much like everything I saw, I couldn't process everything I heard. We turned into a hallway and in front of the first door were two women were obviously waiting for us.

They were dressed identically in gold colored sarongs and bandeau tops. I had no idea what they were supposed to be. They looked at me with smiles and expressions of poorly restrained excitement. I knew they were vampires. The one to the left, a brunette, looked at Lucky and spoke in a different language. Whatever she said made him frown as he handed my suitcase over.

"This is Patel and Sinai." He said. "They will help you prepare for the wedding ceremony, I'll return shortly to see you off."

"What about Thalia?" I asked.

Honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted Thalia around but I liked that she knew I wasn't some happy blushing bride. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to explain my feelings to anyone here about my impeding marriage and I didn't want their thoughts on the matter. I just wanted to get it over with and get to the part where I got to go back home.

"If Thalia is not yet drunk, she is very well on her way."

Perfect.

Lucky squeezed my shoulder and walked away clearly in a rush, leaving me with two strangers. Not to say that Lucky or Thalia weren't strangers but I'd known them at least an hour longer than these new faces. I was doing my best to pay attention to what happened thereafter but it was difficult. I was led into a bath tub that was more like a hot tub. I was alone in it for only a minute before the robed women returned.

They were so busy talking excitedly between themselves that I had no hope of getting a word in edgewise. I didn't try because as they conversed not a word was in the only language I spoke. I didn't let that get to me. I didn't let anything bother me because I didn't let myself think. I couldn't. I'd made it this far and in a little while it would all be over. My thoughts would no longer be about wedding a vampire but about getting home.

I held on to that and I didn't know how much time had passed. It couldn't have been much. I blinked and found that I was no longer getting my hair done. I moved and it was accompanied by tinkling not like bells but small pieces of metal. I reached up and heard it again. I was wearing, bracelets and anklets. Even the ties that kept my now braided hair in place were metal, gold by the look of it.

"Beautiful," The black haired woman said.

I blinked surprised that she had spoken English. Then again, the only indicator I had that she couldn't was because she didn't. I looked down and saw that I was dressed in a gown that revealed more than it covered. It was loose fitting but seriously, I was wondering where the rest of it was. I was no prude but the only thing the garment covered completely was my legs.

My less than flat stomach was exposed. The neck line was like a halter top except the back turned into a braided fabric that fell down my back and attached to the skirt that covered the rest of me. The bottom half was light and flowing, falling well past my feet. I flexed my feet and found that I had shoes on.

Upon further inspection I realized that calling them shoes was generous. They were sandals, flat with golden braided strips. I didn't make me feel like I was naked. It all made me feel like I was cattle for sale and not a bride. Considering the choice of groom, it would take a whole new set of genetic material to bring me up to snuff.

On the upside he didn't want me. I knew that if Eric had a choice it wouldn't be me. No, he needed me. That was the only reason why he had chosen me. I was just a way to blot out the world, a way to be alone in his mind. That was the only reason I was here. Otherwise I had no doubt that I would have died hours ago.

Once I'd taught him all he needed to know, we would go our separate and I would go on my way. I could pretend that I was never Alice and I'd never chased the rabbit down the hole. There would be a chance to return to life as I knew it, except I would carry these impossible memories with me. It was a small price to pay to save my life.

Lucky returned but a little girl sat perched on his hip, her hands locked around his neck. It was obvious she was his daughter. Where his hair fell down his back, hers came to her shoulders in a wild halo of strawberry blond curls that didn't seem to know which way it wanted to fall. Her eyes were big and round, the same deep minty green as his.

Lucky was now in tights and a more elaborate beaded tunic. She was in a vintage gown that spoke of times decades older than she was or at least appeared to be. He whispered something to her then set her on her feet and she trotted away. He came to me and it was then that I realized the full extent of his role. He would give me away because if I had refused, he would have had the responsibility of taking my life.

I knew then the true sacrifice of the choice I'd made. The line to my life before this moment had been completely cut. It occurred to me just how much trouble I was in. I was still in the process of scaring myself shitless when Lucky hooked his arm around mine and we began walking down yet another hallway.

It was night time but light bulbs aren't what lit the way. There were no light switches to be seen, the way was illuminated with brightly lit stones that adorned the walls. I was in a different dimension, but it had seemed that I had also gone back in time with vampires being everywhere? I'd been an independent woman throughout my adult life. Now I would probably be viewed as a thing not a person.

Oh God!

What the hell was I about to do! I was about to get married. I tried to make myself think of it as nothing but a means to an end, that thought process didn't help. Panic returned. It rooted itself in the pit of my stomach. I didn't even try to fight it or slow it down. I let the feelings come and engulf me.

"Stupid! Oh God! Why am I so stupid and impulsive and stupid?" I asked myself.

I was waiting for Lucky to ask me if I had changed my mind and if I would prefer death after all, but he didn't. I presumed it was too late for that. He didn't say a thing. He just let me have my panic attack in peace. He rubbed the back of my neck and then patted my back in alternate motions.

I didn't know him and his touch was foreign. I wanted to lash out, but it's all I had before I took a leap. My leap wasn't one of faith nor was it of fear. It was more like a blind free fall and I was tumbling end over end with no end in sight. He continued to pat my back and rub my neck. Without realizing it, I had eased the tense set of my shoulders.

"You did not faint. I am told that many people do at this very spot." He complimented. "That is good."

Whether that was good or bad remained to be seen. Fainting again would be a much appreciated release. I was tired and the day had been so very long and confusing. I not fainting said something about my internal strength since I hadn't passed out again.

"I feel like I'm going to be sick." I admitted.

He deftly glided out of the way.

"No vomiting; even better." he cheered, clapping me on the back. "The day I got married. I ruined Eric's shoes right about there." He pointed over his shoulder.

Oddly enough his admission slowed down the jackhammer rhythm of my heart. "I thought you were a Wildling, why did you have to marry in?" I asked.

"I had to marry my wife to bring her in."

"So she had to marry you or die too?"

He moved his head in half nod, half shake motion that I took for, 'Kinda sorta but not really'.

"We were on a supply run when I came across her. Her Coven had fallen. She was alone and for a Changeling, it is as good as a death sentence in some parts. I looked into her eyes…the rest as they say is history."

Oh. "That was nice." I replied lamely.

He nodded. "You have to give Eric something as his wife." He told me, in a blatant attempt to change the subject.

I blinked dumbly. "Like what?"

He stopped to think about it. It was clear that he didn't know. "I gave my wife my favorite dagger."

I was sure that in this world that was like a tennis bracelet. To my ears it sounded so wrong that I truly didn't know where to begin.

"What would you suggest for a non-knife wielding gal like myself?"

"I should have brought this up while we were at your home."

"Gee, you think?"

We stared at each other for half a beat. I was sure I looked as irritated and wrung out as I felt. He paced, clearly trying to think. It was clear when he came up with nothing.

"What of this?" He said pointing to my gold necklace.

Gran had given the chain to me for my sixteenth birthday. When she had died I added her own gold crucifix to it. There was no way I was going to part with it and I told Lucky so. The only thing I had left were the sapphires studs I'd worn as I arrived. They were white gold. They were more expensive than the necklace but they didn't mean as much to me. Parting with them was nothing. This marriage was as fake as Arlene's hair and nails anyways.

"This is all?" he asked clearly displeased.

"Well, unless you shit gold bricks and spit diamonds, yes." I replied. "It's all I got."

"Onto the next," Lucky said. "The signing of the wedding documents requires blood."

"Nope."

I didn't care how badly I felt for Eric or what deal we had in place. That wasn't going to happen.

"I'm not letting anyone snack on me."

A derisive snort preceded his response. "And we shall endeavor to rise above the heartbreak that news brings us," he told me with an exasperated eye roll.

I flushed. Clearly I had insulted him but I was too relieved to care.

"In my defense I have no idea what to expect."

He nodded. "Remember to remind Thalia of that when next you see her. As I was saying, blood is needed because you and The Lord Raven will sign the wedding document with it."

"Who?"

"How do you not know that? What were you and Thalia doing before I arrived?" he asked.

"For the most part, I was throwing things at her and she was stuffing her face."

He sighed, clearly cursing her name. "The Ravens are soldiers of the Wild. There are twelve who are considered to be Elite, The Raven Elite. I am an Elite, as is Thalia, as is Eric but he was the first of the Ravens, hence the title."

Eric's desperation that I had thought was for his own sanity wasn't, not really. He had an entire land to protect with people that looked to him to keep them safe. I wondered how I felt about that and it was too multifaceted to contemplate on top of everything else.

"The only amount of blood that is required is for you to prick all ten of your fingers and register them next to his."

That didn't seem horrible compared to what I'd assumed. We began walking again. The door didn't seem that far away but with every step I took, seemed to place it farther from me, not closer. It felt like it took ages to reach it and during that expanse of time I contemplated all that could go wrong and how I could do nothing about it now.

Just before we reached the doorway, Lucky stopped and cupped my face in his hands. We've been snapping at each other but this gesture seems rather intimate and caring for man I just meant. I was uncomfortable. If he knew it, he didn't show it.

"This right here, right now could be the worst mistake of your life even if you live forever." He said.

"Or…" I prompted.

"Or not."

Surely there was more to it than that. He and Eric seemed close. There must be some words of wisdom he wanted to impart. He smiled, making his emerald eyes twinkle. Then he kissed my head and said,

"Congratulations, as far as males go, he is the greatest I have ever known."

Thalia had bailed out on me but I had to wonder how I was stuck with him because he really sucked at this.

Despite my fears, I walked through the doors when he opened them.


	6. Chapter 6

God, help me.

I know I had the feeling earlier that I had gone back in time and by walking into this room confirmed it. The desk that dominated the room was polished and glistened under the florescent stones that hung from the chandelier. There was a mini sun dial, a feathered quill resting in an ink pot. Before I got a chance to have another panic attack, Lucky led me to the left where a round table awaited with two people waiting.

The first was a man. His face seemed cut from stone, his eyes narrowed and his nose sloped perfectly as if it had been formed under the guide of a ruler. Dollars to donuts, if I looked up the word, 'Severe' in the dictionary, you would find his picture. It seemed even more so with the sharp angled bob he chose to style his ink black hair in. He was the least physically intimidating vampire I'd seen so far but he was the scariest at a glance. He was tall but leaner than what I'd seen so far of male vampires.

He was still young looking like everyone I'd met so far and attractive but in an unforgiving way.I didn't think that could be a thing until right then but it was. He might kiss or kill. Until he did either you wouldn't know it. He gave me the absolute creeps. He nodded his head at Lucky who reciprocated. He looked at me and nodded his head a little deeper. Overwhelmed by a need to curtsy, I looked up at Lucky; he squeezed my hand so I just imitated the scary dark haired vampire and simply nodded back.

Beside him was a woman. She looked so old and so frail that I was worried for her. If not for the void of her mind, I would have thought her to be like me, human but she wasn't. She was a blind vampire. She was in a dress that most elderly women wouldn't wear but it was a marker of her age. I felt she not only saw me but that she saw through me. Her milky glazed eyes were focused on me as if she could see my every step.

Lucky and I sat across from the pair of them. It made me wonder who normally took the chair beside the blind woman, who was still staring at me. Maybe I was supposed to do something and Lucky had forgotten to tell me. That was wholly possible. I looked to my side but Lucky was whispering to a young man that had come out of nowhere.

I watched as he scurried purposefully the way we'd come. I noticed he was dressed like the women that had helped me prepare, so I guess it was wedding assistant attire? I had no idea. I didn't even know where the young man had come from. He hadn't been there when I'd come in. Then again I might have been too overwhelmed by everything, not just the vampires but the silent act. With so many vampires all about I couldn't track them all. If I didn't say it was somewhat unnerving, I would be lying.

However, I did see as the dark haired vampire was handed a scroll by a young woman. She was dressed like the other helpers though she was the youngest person I'd seen so far. She had a body that was already shaping to bring men to their knees but her face was still rounded and her eyes were bright and excited.

I tried to read her mind, maybe it would be different but all I got was a void. She shot me a smile after she did her part. I was still trying to read her when the door opened. I glanced over my shoulder expecting yet another unknown vampire but what I saw was Eric. I saw him and I forgot how to think, how to blink, and how to breathe. This scary office and the strangers in it faded and so did my unease.

Once I saw him I couldn't look away no matter how badly I wanted to. Gone were his tunic and boots. Eric's feet were bare as was his chest. Washboard, abs a plenty, a six—no an eight pack! Those words came to mind as I tried to see past his chest. He had no chest hair and the light dusting that led to his…good lord almighty! None of the thoughts that his body brought to my mind were clean. They were loud and voracious. My inside voice didn't think like this. I didn't think like this, but I couldn't stop it. I was happy that no one could read my mind.

The necklace around Eric's neck sat just under the hollow of his throat and with the background of his pale skin, the bullet sized emerald pendant gleamed. If his entrance and attire didn't classify as soft core porn then it came pretty dang close. A body like his simply wasn't made for display in such a manner, at least not without warning.

Vampire or not he was easily the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. He was so otherworldly in his physical splendor alone. His long muscular legs were clad with black leather tights. His hair was braided much more intricately and spilling over his broad shoulders and partly down his back. Those enigmatic blue eyes were lined in coal and it did nothing more than to pull me deeper into their depths. I knew then without a shadow of a doubt that I was leaps and bounds out of my league with the likes of him.

A dusky beauty was at Eric's side. Like Lucky had done for me, she pulled out a chair for him. Before he sat Eric nodded his head at everyone. Their answering nods were deeper than mine, not that I nodded at all I was still pretty busy ogling. Then he sat beside Lucky while she took the vacant seat beside the blind woman.

The woman smirked at me and I didn't know what to make of that especially because Lucky rolled his eyes and Eric smiled. I was probably the butt of some joke. It wouldn't bother me if I knew what it was. The woman beside him was the epitome of a Latin beauty. Her skin was something that not even a master painter could imitate. It was a smooth creamy bronze that seemed to glitter in the soft glow of the room. She was in a jeweled top and a floor length skirt. Her hair was piled high atop her head and was the color of rich creamy chocolate with shiny distinctive strands of cinnamon mixed in.

We got to business. The scroll that the dark haired vampire was holding was spread across the table. I wish I could read it but I couldn't even begin to make sense of the script. The dark haired vampire said something.

"English," Lucky replied. "That is the sole tongue of my charge."

The half-naked beauty beside Eric nodded. "Mine understands English in its many dialects."

"Then we will proceed in the agreed language," The dark haired vampire said.

I was so floored by his impeccable English that I was left staring. When I looked away from him, the seemingly unseeing eyes of the old woman captivated me. Quickly I looked away because she unsettled me the most.

I locked eyes with Eric. Then I truly couldn't look away. It was worse because I heard words in English but didn't really hear them. When he smiled at me I forgot how to breathe. Lucky kicked me under the table. I blinked as if breaking from a spell. I saw the ceremony moving right along all around me and I had no idea how much of it I'd missed.

"I, Isabelle Palencia De Luna, tenth Raven Elite and sworn Guardian of The Wild attests that my ward understands and is already bound by the thirteen blood laws of the Wildlands."

Wait! What, they had read me laws? Thirteen of them?

"I, Caylán Morrigan of Teárlach fifth Raven Elite and sworn Guardian of The Wild attest that my ward has been read the thirteen laws, and with guidance she can be bound by them."

What? I thought my sponsor's name was Lucky. Yet as I had been in naked Eric dreamland he had become Caylán Morrigan of where ever? I was fighting panic but this had nothing to do with anyone else. I had missed crucial bullet points but I couldn't slow this train down. Before I could come to terms with missing so much, Lucky rose from my side and pulled me up with him, the woman, Isabelle did the same with Eric. One minute they were standing beside each other, then the next they had placed my hand in Eric's. The gesture was significant. I was already married it seemed and I didn't even know it.

Eric holding my hand didn't feel the same as when Lucky did it. It was unsettling. That blazing feeling from the first contact I'd had with him was still present. It was mixed in with my growing alarm, and my desire, making my emotional upheaval complete. I wanted to pull my hand away but I couldn't.

First off, his grip was firm, as if he wouldn't ever let me go. I also wasn't strong enough to want to be without support. I felt so lost in a sea of faces and scenery that having someone ground me was welcomed, even if that someone was a stranger who blinded me with his attraction.

Eric released my hand briefly to unfasten his necklace. Lucky passed me the earrings we'd scrounged up, last minute. Oh God, please let him have piercings. I breathed a sigh of relief. He had two holes one in his upper ear and another in the lobe. By some miracle I managed to get the earrings in despite the almost violent shaking in my hand and the headiness of his scent and the difference in our height.

Suddenly the two young similarly clad vampires I'd seen earlier were there, front and center. The young man held a large scroll book open, the girl held a narrow knife out to Eric. It really was a knife in the loosest definition. The base was narrow and the point of the blade, impossibly so. Without hesitation, Eric took it and nicked the fingers of first his left hand and then the right.

It was my assumption that he'd done it slow for my benefit. He pressed the self-inflicted wounds against the paper. When it was my turn I froze. I knew what to expect but all my courage had gone out the window.

Eric looked at me. I saw what looked like equal parts reassurance and excitement in his eyes. He took both my hands and placed them on the table. I wanted to scream and cry because I knew what was going to come. Until right then, I had just been an observer. It had felt like I was having a hallucination, one that I knew would soon pass.

Now it felt beyond real. I tensed to pull my hands off the table but all ten digits of my fingers were already sporting tiny beads of blood and Eric was handing the little knife back. Then he took my hands and placed the wounds next to his blood prints on the paper. Okay, that was seriously a lot less painful than I had been anticipating.

The dark haired vampire led the blind woman from the room, they were followed by the young helpers and then Eric and I. Isabelle and Lucky were behind us. Idly I wondered if they were there to keep me from turning tail and running. Admittedly I'd thought about it.

The procession continued along with the silence. I wish there was something to distract me from the fact that Eric was holding my hand and that he was shirtless and now my husband. I looked around and was stunned by the paintings and statues that adorned the hallway. It was a good distraction until we arrived at ornate carved double doors. They led outside, I could feel the air from and hear what sounded like tens of thousands of people.

I heard a voice that let out a noise that reminded me of a whoop of a wild animal. The sound was dropped and then picked up by so many different people. I didn't understand how I knew what it was or why but the crowd erupted fully with the noise. I felt the ground under my feet shake.

I looked around me and found that I was the only one terrified. That could either be very good or very bad. When I glanced back at Lucky, was mid eye roll. I saw his lips move and Isabelle smiled too but I had no hope of discerning what was said. Eric gave my fingers a gentle squeeze.

"It is Thalia and the other Ravens."

"Citizens of the Wild!"

Speaking of the devil.

There was a shout that rivaled the deafening cheer from moments ago.

"Ravens!" she shouted.

There was an answering roar. No one had to tell me that these were soldiers that were riled up to the max. Their voices were as one and entirely too similar to battle cries. The roar of the Raven's faded into caws of the named bird but somehow wilder, no pun intended.

"Give into the draw of the wind; and fly high. Tonight we clip the wings of The Lord Raven himself!"

The words faded into a howl but that only wretched the noise up to deafening volumes. Towards the end there was foot stomping, applauding, shrill whistling and just pure pandemonium. It all happened so fast. Really I was trying not to go deaf one second and then I was bombarded with a new set of worries.

All I saw of our surroundings were endless rows of people. I felt so small, so insignificant. These feelings were stronger because I had to look up and around. We had come out onto some kind of stage in an outdoor stadium. No one was in the black and red uniforms. Yet none were dressed the same.

After the tenth pat on the back I stopped trying to shake hands or make sense of it all. This was nothing I was used to, but this was their style, their customs and traditions of their home, and even the idea of personal space didn't seem to apply here. My feet were moving but I had no idea to where. The only constant was Eric's hand in mine as he too battled ten times more people than I. No, he wasn't fighting it; he was reveling in it as I drowned.

I knew that it was wrong to resent him in this moment when he had so much joy. It was probably something that he hadn't had in so long, but I couldn't help it. Then I asked myself a hard question, what would it be like to be in his shoes? When was the last time Eric touched someone without the backlash of their thoughts eating away at his mind? I didn't know and I didn't think that he knew either. Really, when I thought of it that way, it didn't make what I'd been through in the last few hours seem like much, even facing my death. I'd had more choice in what had taken place after meeting Eric than I did with being cursed with telepathy.


	7. Chapter 7

There were endless variety of food and drinks. I didn't trust my stomach so I stuck with water and quietly observed the madness. Eric and I were seated front and center and for the first hour and half there had been a line of people coming to wish us well. A short while later, Thalia found her way to us with drinks in hand. She held one out to Eric and the other out to me. I remembered Lucky's warning. If he was afraid to drink anything she offered then I would be a fool to accept.

"None for me, thank you."

She didn't give Eric a choice as she pushed the shot glass into his hand. There was steam coming off it. For a second I worried that he was about to be look on his face said he knew he was going to regret what he was about to do.

"A toast," she declared.

"You have drunk to everything for the both of us." He said.

She grinned and raised her glass, with a sigh he followed suit. "To the man that proved to me that it is better to be beautiful than-"

"Lucky!" Lucky chimed in.

"Or smart." Isabella added.

"You are all still awful at speeches I see." Eric said with a derisive snort.

"You are the first of us and the best of us; may you be as happy as you are old."

They clanked glasses and downed their shots. I wondered if and how alcohol affected Eric's telepathy. The grimace of Eric's face was answer enough. He wasn't a drinker. His expression was beyond comical and I couldn't help but laugh. Seriously, his whole face had flushed and he was coughing. He passed it off and I didn't see him touch another drink though they kept coming.

Obviously these vampires were nothing like legends suggested. They weren't even like most people I'd known. It made them especially odd. It wasn't the people per se but the lack of policing that went along with them. There were at least fifty thousand people mingling and dancing and drinking and laughing. Obviously someone was going to get wasted and start some trouble. That never happened and after a while I stopped waiting.

Yes, there were vampires aplenty and a raging wedding reception of epic proportions but emotionally, I'd been put through the wringer. The music and festivities continued but my ability to keep up waned. The day's events began feeling less every breath I took the noise became fainter and my eyes grew heavier.

Eric wrapped his arms around me. For a moment I forgot where I was. I braced for an influx of thoughts but they never came. If there was a mind that wasn't silent to me then it was being drowned out by his touch. If I could ignore the bizarre circumstances and the vampires around me, I would call it heaven.

Against my will my body relaxed against his. The comfort engulfed me as I opened my mind to it. I quickly got to that foggy place between barely asleep and fully conscious. I was so tired that when Eric eased my sleepy head from his shoulder and into his lap, I didn't protest.

When I woke up, it was to find my back against a cloud soft pillow. Something warm and wet was caressing my face. I turned away from the chill and found refuge in a strange place that felt so familiar. There was a confusing moment where the face that was gazing down on me terrified me, handsome as it was.

A scream was working its way but then it died as his face came into focus. Eric. He had been attempting to clean the minimal make up off my face while I slept. The skirt I'd worn was gone as were the sandals. I was left with the scantily top and underwear. I felt hella naked. I jumped up and slapped his hands away.

"I'm not having sex with you." I said, moving away from him. "I don't want to."

"Forgive me, if I caused you any duress. I was looking to make you more comfortable as you slept."

"Oh," was my elegant reply.

Eric set down the cloth and offered me a night shirt that looked so loose and so soft that the top I was wearing suddenly felt like a cage. He also had a hair brush in hand. I could see from the way his hair fell that he had loosened his plaits and had been trying to do the same with me.

For a moment he stared at me. Whatever he saw seemingly left perplexed.

"Is this how men initiate sex where you are from?" He asked, quite seriously. "By touching a females' feet."

You know, in case I had for one second forgotten that he was a different species than I. That pretty much lit the cannon. It also made me feel like I was engaging in some pretty heavy self-delusion, thinking he wanted sex.

"No."

I wish I had just slept through his alien vampire hospitality instead of confusing it for a prelude to intercourse, which it was not. Of course he didn't want to have sex with me. He hadn't wanted to marry me anymore than I wanted to marry him. I was embarrassed that it was all I could do not to smack myself upside the head.

I busied myself dabbing at my eyes to remove the minimal make up. When I was finished with that I reached for my hair but after a few tangles I was ready to let it alone till morning.

"Allow me."

Eric didn't await a response; he took the brush from me. I wanted to say that I was too tired to fight. It wouldn't be a lie. I was tired. The truth was I didn't want to deal with it. With the intricate plaits that I was sporting it was more likely that I would end up winding my hair into a tangled mess. So I let him do it. As he worked I didn't feel a single thing. It made me suddenly aware of the silence and the awkwardness of the moment.

I wanted to fill the void.

"When I'm asleep do I still keep the voices out?" I asked, because telepathy was all we had in common.

"Yes." He said. "The silence is more profound actually."

"Really?"

"Yes. I do not have to hold on to it. It is as if you seek me out and pulls me into you. Do you know why this is?"

I shook my head feeling like every bit the freak I was. Freak or no, it felt oddly pleasant to be able to talk about this with someone else, someone who was like me if only a little. I've never had to think clinically about my telepathy before outside of how I was going to keep it secret, or keep myself sane. Now that I gave it some thought it was somewhat interesting and dare I say, fascinating to contemplate all the facets of my sixth sense.

"My shield is still there while I'm asleep. That could be why."

"Like a reflex?" he asked sounding impressed.

"Not exactly, other people's thoughts have woken me up before but they have to be loud or alarming. It doesn't happen often so if I had to guess, I would say muscle memory keeps my shields up while I'm asleep."

He nodded. "I see. It is a matter of training, practice and repetition."

This was all theory. I'd never met anyone like me. This was the first time I was able to talk openly about the ins and outs of it. Telepathy was inherent to me having to explain it to him made me think of it in a systematic level.

"Yes but it's different from what I do when I'm awake though. Again, I'm just guessing but I think I'm subconsciously seeking out the deepest quiet, trying to draw it in so I don't have to work so hard while I'm not awake."

The quiet happened to be him. I expected him to say something but he just made a face. I didn't know him well enough to know what it meant. Eric left, presumably to get changed and I did the same. The shirt he had given me was his. It smelled so much like him that I didn't think I could sleep. His scent brought so many mixed emotions roaring to the forefront of my mind.

When he climbed into bed I didn't know what to think or what to do. If he felt the same awkwardness, it didn't show. He just took my hand and kept it interlaced with his as he had done all night.

"Thank you Sookie, for being my wife."

In this one thing, I knew just how much it meant to him. It wasn't a choice for either of us. This farce of a union was born of his desperation to save his sanity and my understanding of that personal hell and my desire to save myself.

"You're welcome."

My internal struggle continued to rage but Eric slept; deeply and so very peacefully. As his breathing got deep and his body went heavy I contemplated running. It was a thought, a wild reckless hopeless thought. I had no idea where I was or how to get back home. Plus I was tired and so comfortable. I decided against running today, I wouldn't make any promises for tomorrow. Instead I turned to face the man I had given my life for.

I got to look at him and get my fill without worrying about being caught. He was graceful and enigmatic even in his sleep. Eric slept on his stomach with his head resting on his left arm. His lustrous mane fell down his back where a few strands obscured his face. No matter how deeply he slept his grip didn't loosen.

Maybe he couldn't, not unless I could teach him what he needed to know. This God of a vampire wouldn't be anywhere near someone like me if not for the silence of my mind. It had been a long day and I was exhausted. That very thought helped me let go of that final shred of anxiety I still held and I fell asleep in this strange bed next to an even stranger man in the strangest of places.

When I woke the next morning, I was alone in the bed and the room. There was no lag; no gap where I was able to fantasize that it was all a dream. I knew that I had indeed gone down the rabbit hole. The only thing I wondered about was what to do now. It was the first time since going out to collect my linens that I was alone and vampire free.

Should I just pretend to be asleep for the rest of the day? My bladder and stomach immediately disagreed with that game plan. I tried to deny it but I had to answer natures call. I went into the same room that Eric had yesterday. At best I hoped for some kind of indoor out house. What I saw blew me away.

This was a hundred—no a million times better than the one I had at home. The ensuite at home had a claw foot tub that was an antique. It was easily the most prized possession in my entire home. But here there was a porcelain throne, a sink with brass handles, a great big bath tub and in the corner was a shower stall. I took care of business with much delight. Going to my suitcase I found my tooth brush and other toiletries.

It wasn't until I was brushing my teeth did I notice that a large basket was seated beside the massive tub. It was for me because it had a bow on it. It had more than a tooth brush. There were full sized bottles of lotions and conditioners and body washes. They were all high end brand names that I could never afford. Hell, some of them I'd never seen before except on television.

Hair dressing accessories were also in the basket. There were varying types of hair clips and ties, supplies for that time of the month, grooming and random odds and ends. It had everything a woman would need if she was waking up in a strange house. It was thoughtful as it was alarming. Just how often did people get ripped from their lives and get relocated here? My guess was a lot. I didn't want to think about that.

Deciding it could only help I showered. I took my time trying to wash away anxiety and uncertainty. The water didn't run cold like my shower at home did but I couldn't bring myself to waste hot water. I dressed quickly in my own clothes being sure to fold the loners Eric had given me to sleep in.

I sat on the bed and waited. He didn't come and I couldn't hear anything but voids, voids and more voids. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, what was expected of me. He hadn't told me. I waited some more not sure what would be waiting on the other side of the door. Instead I categorized the bedroom. It was a way to distract me from my hunger but it didn't last long.

I walked out of the room and into the hall and had to shield my eyes. For a vampire home, there was a lot of sunlight. From what I learned thus far, I knew some were immune and Eric certainly was but it still seemed odd. Every window went from floor to ceiling making them look more like small doors. There wasn't a single curtain or door in sight to keep light out.

Seriously, this was so un-vampire like.

I went decided to go left because there seemed to be more doors down that way. I found a closet and another bedroom. At the end of the hall was a floor to ceiling window. It gave me a clear view on what was far out and below and all around. As far as I could see all the houses were built identically but the colors ranged from pristine white marble to neon shades. The narrow streets were cobble stoned. Stone lamp posts were hung at perfect intervals. Instead of actual lamps or light fixtures, I saw blue crystals that lit the Hall the night before.

I tried to take in as much as I could. There were people going to and fro. There were countless other houses. Beyond that was a field where countless people were tilling the soil. I had to squint to be sure and I was. The glittering space in the distance was an ocean, not a lake but an ocean with rolling tides and and sandy beaches and ships in the distance. Damn, I really was in a whole new world.

Really, Princess Jasmine? I scolded myself. Get a grip.

After a few deep breaths, I got myself under control. I was able to stem the sensory overload. What I had to do now was eat. The madness would be there waiting for me after, of that I had no doubt. After all I was in a different dimension with mythical creatures. The surprises would be endless. They'd be more manageable on a full stomach…hopefully.


	8. Chapter 8

In any case I needed to stop freaking out over every single thing I saw. It wouldn't get me fed and it was taking away too much of my energy. With a little resolve I backed slowly away from the window and went towards the stairs. Nothing strange there, the ceiling, walls and floors were sandy colored. It was all trimmed with white marble; identical to the banister and steps.

There were pictures along the hallway but that wasn't what held my curiosity. The strange blue crystal that lit up the streets at night was on the wall. I had seen them everywhere since arriving in the Justice Hall. They had been in the bedroom and bathrooms but they were too close to the ceiling to touch or see clearly, now I could do both.

This was the part in the horror movie where the entire theater is screaming at the dumb blonde, 'Don't go in there!' Having been part of that audience once or twice I hesitated for a moment but told myself I just wanted a closer look. The blue crystal just seemed to be covering a tiny sparkling whirling diamonds in its center. My hand was out before I realized what I was doing. I expected it to be hot but I felt no heat coming from it. The area around it was warm, as if heat was flowing into it and then being locked away.

"No!"

I screamed and yanked my hand away. When I got the beating of my heart under control, I turned around. It didn't shock me at all to find Thalia standing behind me. Of course she was laughing at me as if scaring the life out of me was funny. I was embarrassed, still a little rattled and plenty angry. In other words, I was operating on bonafide stupid mode.

"You're a jerk!" I snapped.

"A Jerk what?" she asked between chortles.

"A Jerk…an Asshole!"

She laughed harder. I firmly believed that this wasn't the first time she'd been called that. Nothing killed a tirade quite like the person on the receiving end agreeing with you. I sighed because while I couldn't read her mind, I could now see that she was one of those people. She laughed when she shouldn't and found humor in the most inappropriate places, like my discomfort for instance.

Unlike the clothes of mine that she had helped herself to yesterday, today she was dressed in a way that marked her as other. Her ensemble was what I assumed ancient Grecian women wore. It might just be that she got out of bed this morning and wrapped herself in a bed sheet then held the whole thing in place with a long leather belt.

Thalia walked over and placed her fingertips over the crystal. A soft glow came to life at the tips. Slowly, she drew her finger tips further and further apart and light grew with it. It lit the hallway entirely. It was brighter than the rays of sun filling the hall. She toyed with it, closing and opening her fingers changing the lighting as she did so. She grabbed my hand and placed it on the crystal shell. I yanked it back and she rolled her eyes. It was her damn fault that I was skittish.

"It is like the light bulb," she explained. "But with no electricity. That is not a thing here."

I thought of the, 'Clap Light' that was so big a few years ago. This crystal seemed light years ahead in its design and range but it was the only reference I had. My wonder overpowered everything else and I touched the shell, I turned my fingers this way and that, controlling the direction of the flow and the brightness of the light.

"It uses batteries?" I asked.

"Sun," she replied pointing out the window. "The outer shell keeps it from being dangerous to little ones, never remove it."

I wasn't sure what to make of that so I just said, "Okay."

"Do you live here too?" I asked.

That too was something I hadn't considered. I just assumed that Eric lived alone being a telepath, and would prefer isolation, as I had. I knew that wasn't the case. Last night I saw how they swarmed around him and with no caution. Everyone here was used to touching him. Back at my home he had told me that they were allowed up to two spouses. For all I knew she was his other wife. I didn't think so but what did I know?

"Periodically, depending on how angry I have made my husband," she replied, rubbing the back of her neck as if it suddenly began to pain her. I waited for her to explain but she didn't. Aggrieved as she looked there was still mirth dancing behind her eyes. She hooked her arm through mine and we began heading towards the stairs.

The bottom floor was as easily decorated as the second. From my place at the foot of the stairs I could see the soft hues of rust and soft glowing orange, like a sunset colored the walls. I was trying to take it all in when someone walked into me, a very big someone. Before I could even register that I was falling, a pair of hands reached out to steady me.

I didn't understand his words as he steadied me, they weren't in English. I nodded hoping like hell that it was still the universal signal for 'all's well'. I was looking at what had to be the epitome of Asiatic beauty. His hair was just as long as Eric's but it was jet black and was pulled high on his head with a golden headdress. It complemented his white tank top, and his navy blue pants tied high above his waist and cut wide.

He would have looked entirely elegant if not regal except there was a tattoo of a scaled creature that dominated the entirety of his left arm from shoulder blade to wrist. As if it felt my stare, the creature on his arm moved. Just when I thought I'd hallucinated, it blinked lazily and yawned.

Where in the world was I?

"Careful Aoki," Thalia called. "She has a thing for scrambling eggs."

The man dropped my arms like they'd suddenly burst into flames. For good measure he took a step back. Then he folded his hands across his chest, except they were more south of the equator.

"Don't listen to her, that was once and I think we can agree that the circumstances were extenuating. I'm not some crazy person that goes around kicking testicles for shits and giggles!"

They both look confused. "Shits and giggles, is that a thing?" Thalia asked.

He shot me a wary glance before he replied. "I am not sure I want to know."

They were both looking at me. I stomped my foot like a three year old. I was too hungry, too lacking in caffeine, too overwhelmed for this bullshit.

"Never mind," I said rubbing my temples and fighting the urge to scream in frustration. I didn't know what to do or how to feel around these people. I couldn't even let it sink in that I was in some alternate universe. I was just trying to get to breakfast and I couldn't even do that in this crazy place.

"Forget it."

The man, Aoki stepped forward with a smile that made him look less intimidating. "No need," he said, taking my hand. "I know this must be very strange for you and Thalia's horrid sense of humor cannot be helping matters."

"I'm funny." Thalia argued. "You two are just no fun."

"No, you are not funny." He told her.

I had to agree with him there.

"Come," he said pulling me along. "You must be hungry."

I followed without much worry because his amusement didn't seem to revolve around the discomfort of others. He began walking towards the back of the house. I saw a kitchen. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. It was as lovely as the bathroom and spacious. It sported marble countertops and a polished mahogany table.

There was a bread box and a stove but there was nothing that resembled a coffee maker or a microwave. Yet there was a double sink with running water and a marble backsplash. There wasn't a fridge either. I didn't get long to dwell on that. There was a wide assortment of food on the table. It was mostly fruits, light meats, and cheeses. There was also a wide assortment of breads. None were of the sliced 'Wonder Bread' variety I was used to. They were oddly shaped and others looked sticky and sweet like buns.

I was gaping at the variety when someone else walked into the room. Like the two other vampires in the room with me, he had long hair which I guess was the pattern. His hair was wilder than the others, like he never cared to braid or smooth it. He was wearing linen pants and a button down shirt but more importantly he had food. From where I sat the gourmet scent was making my mouth water.

He placed his dish on the table and came over to me. "I am Rane. Congratulations," he said, pressing his forehead to mine. It was unwanted and unsolicited physical contact but at this point I knew I had to get used to it. I stilled but before I could get a chance to get too uncomfortable he pulled away with a smile.

"You look annoyed." He said.

I pointed to Thalia and that was answer enough. He threw his head back and laughed long and hard showing deep dimples.

"She is not as funny as she thinks." He said.

He took a plate and began filling it with an assortment of things that were on offer. The other vampires were all doing the same thing. I don't know what the one called Rane brought but it smelled like deliciousness. Thalia piled her plate high with it. I waited but no one offered to make me a plate. Hunger overrode my reservations.

I took a plate and started with fruit. The grapes I took didn't make it to my plate. I stuffed them into my mouth. I looked around worried but no one is paying me any mind. Something like porridge magically appears on the table. It smelled heavenly but all I can think of were the calories. I vowed to avoid it. As everyone else takes heaping scoops, I become curious. It's not a dish I recognize. I should at least know what it is, right. I tried a tiny bite and my taste buds exploded. It was salty and sweet and hearty. I piled it on my plate.

Different dishes kept popping up on the table and I got a taste of them all. I must have ingested two thousand calories but boy it was worth it. As I stuffed items in my mouth the next one tasted better than the one before it. It wasn't until I was presented with an egg and potato platter did I throw in the towel, or fork rather.

I had started breakfast with three other people but now I was faced with nine others including Eric, who was in another tunic. This one seemed less formal. It was a greyish green and wrapped around his body. I stifled a sigh. It just wasn't fair. There wasn't a single model or actor that rivaled his mere presence never mind his looks.

Eric was leaning against the sink. The window at his back allowed the sunlight to do incredible things to his silken strands of blond hair. Today those locks weren't wound in a neat braid. The full length of his luscious mane was cascading—yes, cascading like a shimmering light golden waterfall—falling over his shoulders and down his back. Unlike when I'd been ogling him while he slept, he caught me staring and of all things, he smiled. Just like that, my head emptied. I forgot that I was in some alternate universe. I forget the wide assortment of faces in the room. I blinked dumbly willing myself to breathe.

Breathing was helping me focus until he walked over to me. I'd already been caught staring so what the hell. He reached for me slowly as if expecting me to shrink back, I didn't move, because I couldn't. My breath caught as he wiped super-sticky, super delicious jam staining my lips. If it was possible I would have died of embarrassment.

I mumbled thanks and a weak excuse as I scurried out of the room. I was turning the corner but I was sure I saw Eric stick his finger into his mouth. I didn't want to think about that. I had to focus on the stairs. I was taking them two at a time as I made my get away. Thinking about him tasting gooey jam that had come off my lips would have made me trip and fall to my death, of that I was sure. Seeing I was already in Never Land—or should I say The Wildlands—I just didn't need that added to my troubles.


	9. Chapter 9

I took my time upstairs in the master bathroom. I cleaned my face; brushed my teeth again; fussed with my hair and basically fidgeted in my own skin. I wasted some time but I wondered if I would have to go back downstairs or fully commit to hiding. . At least I wasn't a coward or that was what I was trying to tell myself. Who knew? Maybe they would all be gone by the time I went back down stairs.

Apparently no one was going to spare me the awkwardness. They were still there, all twelve of them. I recognized Lucky and oddly enough that made me feel better though I wasn't exactly sure why. He nodded hello but didn't come over, Eric did. My husband took my hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I tried not to let it phase me. It did though, a whole bunch. I didn't know what was expected of me. Was I supposed to be playing the happy new wife? Did they all know that I didn't want to be here or was it just Eric, Thalia and Lucky?

"You did not greet everyone last night," because you fell asleep.

He didn't have to add that last portion but it was in his smile. I took that as my cue to act like a total mess.

"Hi," I said with a forced smile. "Nice to meet you all."

They went around identifying themselves. To my ears it was similar to soldiers sounding off.

It began with Eric smiling and nodding his head at me. Lucky, Isa, Thalia, Jin, and Rane reintroduced themselves, using their full names this time. I learned that just about no one used their real name. I let that go and focused on the people I didn't know.

Nari was a petite Native American woman that struck me as shy. Then there was Kirsch, he was a mammoth, he looked as though his muscles had muscles. .

Valasca made me think of Xena warrior princess. She was tall and sculpted with lean muscles of an Amazonian. Even her smile seemed deadly. Just as Valasca reminded me a fierce warrior, Pamela made me think of everything feminine, like lace and high heels and the color pink. Even the way she was dressed was so un-vampiric, if there was such a thing. She was petite blonde with navy blue eyes and all delicate features.

Tai was a lean man with platinum blond hair and citrine colored eyes. Both features clashed against his milky complexion. Ezra had green eyes and a curly honey colored hair. They were all so impossibly attractive. Whether their appeal was classic and delicate like Charlotte's, Godlike like Eric or ethereal like Tai, they were all so impossibly attractive that it was enough to make me want to vomit.

Fortunately they didn't linger after introductions. One by one they left until it was just Eric and I. I had no idea why that felt like the most frightening part of my day. None of the many other people I met had beguiled me into this strange world. I wasn't married to any of them. I also wasn't insanely attracted to them.

Throughout the introductions of his friend, he had kept my hand in his. I had been able to ignore it then with effort. Now it felt like my hand was the pleasure center of my body and fully aware of it which caused me to pull my hand from his. Out of frustration I turned to the dishes left on the table.

"I'll clean up." I offered.

He nodded at me and I expected him to walk away to do whatever vampire men do on their free time but instead he began picking things up. This really had to be some alternate universe. I thought for sure that the mention of cleaning would get rid of him. Instead he was helping with cleaning without being asked.

He was running the tap and I saw suds foaming over the pile of dirty dishes. Maybe he liked cleaning and did so all the time? I had no idea. I didn't know anything about him. Having nothing else to do I began taking dishes as Eric washed them. I dried them and put them away. It took a few tries to figure out what went where. It was harder because most of his cabinets were bare. Most people kept spices in the cabinet above the oven. All he had were clear little shaker of salt and pepper. No wonder food had to be brought. Clearly Eric didn't spend a lot of time at home. We worked in silence and it was getting to be deafening when he spoke.

"You must have some questions." He said.

"Or a million." I muttered dryly.

It could be my imagination but I could swear I saw his shoulders shake with silent laughter. I hadn't meant to be heard but he did hear me, thwarted by super senses again it seemed.

"Ask me whatever you wish to know." His tone was solemn, reserved and I knew then that his laughter had to be a product of my imagination. I pushed that idle curiosity aside for more important things, the most important.

"Can you get me back home?"

Or was it just a lie that I had fallen for hook, line and sinker. Being a telepath meant that I saw the worse of human nature. Maybe being able to see that made me naïve. That might explain why I had so easily believed a beautiful stranger who could be nothing more than the devil himself.

He nodded. "I went to see Pythia and Draco to inform them of my intent to roam."

I didn't know exactly what that meant but it was an affirmative and that was good enough for me. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I turned to tend to my task but found Eric looking at me curiously.

"Is that all?" he wondered.

Again, being a telepath I thought I knew people. I guess he had really meant for me to ask him any and everything. I just thought he was attempting to be mannerly. Yet, he was looking at me expectantly and my mind was blank. It wasn't exactly that everyone was a liar. It was more like most people said things we thought we should and that wasn't always the truth. Not wanting to lie or pass up such an opportunity, I went with the first question that came to mind.

"Who are they?"

"They officiated the wedding ceremony." He answered. "She is blind and he is…Draco sat beside her."

I recalled them but his answer didn't really answer my question. "What do they do here? Why did you have to check in with them? Why did they have to oversee the wedding? While I'm asking questions, where is Thalia and why are you doing her job?"

Last night she had bailed on her duties to drink with Eric. Today I had no idea where she had gotten off to. Lucky was gone to. I would take him despite his less than perfect bedside manner. He had been able to answer my questions and calmed me. Being with Eric was the opposite of that. He distracted me to the point of stupidity.

"In hindsight, she may not have been the best choice but I find her amusing and calming. I hoped that you might as well."

"Nope. That you think so makes me question your judgment because so far, everyone agrees with me."

I could hear the smile in his voice as he answered. "I have known her for what feels like forever so perhaps I am desensitized but to answer your question, she is with her husband. He is angry with her and she is attempting to make it right with him again."

Oh.

"I suppose it would be easier to give you a history lesson." He said. "When we settled here, there was nothing this far out, Pythia and I—"

"Settled here? You founded The Wild? I guess being vampire King is another reason they call you Lord Raven."

He winced and for a crazy second I thought I'd made him uncomfortable.

"That is not a thing here. Lord Raven is a moniker that I did not choose. It is due to my rank as the first of the Ravens and my age. "

Well I just couldn't resist. After all I was only human. "How old are you exactly?" I asked.

"Older than most," was his vague reply.

Yup, he was definitely uncomfortable now. Good. It was about time. I smiled evilly ready to get answers out of him but while I deliberated the best way to go about it, he spoke quickly, no doubt sensing my mal intent.

"The journey here was hard but I was the shield for our people but Pythia, she was the mother, the heart of us few as we were at the time."

"Where did you all come from?" I wondered.

"Hell."

That one word was laced with everything from anger to pain and other emotions I couldn't identify. I looked at him but he was washing a plate with slow circular motions that seemed mindless. His eyes appeared eons away. For a while I thought he wouldn't talk anymore, that I had pushed him too far. Then a moment later, he blinked and it was if it brought him back to the present.

"Having elongated lifespans doesn't make our species smarter or any more peaceable than yours. We have been divided by race and blood for eons."

I looked at him and I felt like he was mincing words probably trying to hide what he thought would scare me. That wasn't going to fly.

"For us to help each other, you can't pick and choose what truths to tell me." I interrupted.

"You made a sacrifice to be here with me. The least I could do is to shield you from all the ugliness that I can."

I snorted a laugh because I realized that maybe I wasn't the only one that was wading blindly without telepathy as a guide.

"I'm here and I think that the least I deserve is honesty. I need to know that you won't lie to me."

After staring at me for a long moment, probably trying to read a mind that was closed off to him, he nodded.

"I promise."

"Covens fight for the same reasons nations do but most of the time it is about blood, extinguishing the blood of those with whom you find fault. When a Coven falls, vampires die; entire bloodlines are lost; cut down sometimes in a single night. In the beginning Purebred vampires targeted Changelings and Changelings targeted Half breeds and Turned Ones continued to be made to fight in a war they never even knew existed. Whenever they are freed from their Makers, they killed whatever they touched. That was our reality but we refused it. We created another. That is what makes the Wild special. We are better than them."

"That kind of thinking sounds like part of the problem, don't you think?" I challenged.

He shook his head. "No. We are better, not because we say so but because we hold ourselves to a higher standard. Our land, is a where your blood does not matter. That was what we founded our Coven on. It was also why in the beginning we opened our borders to those in need without qualification if they made it to our shores."

"I was a telepath. I read the thoughts of those who meant harm and removed them. It was peaceful, not the cold nor the lack of game or anything took away from that one thing. We had peace for a lot of us; it was more than we ever dared to dream. We lived like one family. As time passed and our population grew but mental state deteriorated. I missed things…crucial things, things that would have saved lives."


	10. Chapter 10

I tried to glimpse the expression on his face because he'd sounded so…bereaved. His back was to me. It was clear that he was beating himself up for something he had absolutely no control over. Like me, I didn't think he got a choice in becoming a telepath in the first place. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't control it either. I couldn't fathom the burden but I felt like I was one of the few people that could imagine the pain.

Telepathy was a curse. It left me unable to see beyond the things that people around never wanted me to know. It was a curse that had stolen everything, at least that was what it had been like for me. It didn't just steal my future but my present; it changed me and everything I felt about everyone around me.

Unlike me, I don't think Eric ever struggled with using telepathy for good reasons. In this instance he failed. I knew that feeling all too well. I knew that logic had no place in it. It wouldn't do anything but make the guilt that much more consuming. Having nothing else to offer I returned to my task and waited for him to continue the story.

"Looking back, it wasn't my telepathy alone that was to blame. I was naïve or at least my hopes of the future were. I believed that people who had been subjected to brutality would never seek to inflict it. I believed that the same people that came to our borders, battered, beaten, completely broken, and in despair would only have a desire to escape it. I believed that they would be better."

"They weren't."

"No. They were not. Many became worse than the monsters from whom they'd fled and we let them into our home and into our hearts. I let them in."

It was right there on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to comment on his obvious shock at being proven wrong. Why did he expect so much of people that he knew had been hurt so much? Didn't he know that at the root at the angriest and most hateful and vicious of people was pain? I knew that and I wasn't a vampire that could be decades or centuries old. I was going to ask the question but I didn't. It wasn't because I wasn't curious. It was because it was stupid to expose his lapse. I already knew why. He had hope.

"The worst part was that Pythia saw it."

Now I was confused and it must have showed on my face.

"She is a Psychic. These lands were built on my sword but its people grew from her breast. She warned me and I didn't want to believe her. Our city burned. Our people died because I chose hope over reason."

"That doesn't make it your fault." I told him.

To trust someone and then have them betray you didn't automatically make you party to their guilt. It just meant they didn't deserve the trust you gave them. I could have done so much for so many only if I'd just spoken up once or twice in my life. I hadn't because in my heart, I'd thought it was for the best and that was what Eric had done. At the end of the day that right there was all that mattered.

It was the most anyone could ask. It wasn't because it was always good enough but because that was all you had. That was how I knew that no matter how deep Eric dug, there wouldn't be anything else to find. All he would do was turn himself inside out in the process. It was clear that he had been doing just that. I wanted to stop him but I didn't know how. I didn't know him. I certainly couldn't see into his head and if I was being honest at the moment, it sucked, a lot.

"Hoping and believing in good doesn't make you guilty."

"I am the first and most powerful defender of these lands and I failed it. My failure brought about a civil war."

He had heard what I said but he wasn't listening to me. He was intent on beating a dead horse. I couldn't think of a single thing to say so I did what I should. I said nothing though it bothered me more than I thought it should.

"It was as if Hell had found us all over again. Blood and death and ash stained our streets. I can still hear the crackle of the flames and the screams. I still see their faces every time I close my eyes, the dead, the dying and their murderers."

It was then that he turned to face me and I wished to God that I could look away. He looked like the figure in the rain. Instead of fear I felt pity. He was in a place that no one could reach and it made me wonder how he had survived it all.

"The uprising was short lived and the insurgents were small in numbers but they did so much harm. In violating the sanctity of our home, they dealt a blow so devastating that, till this day we cannot forget. When it was over when the last our dead had been burned and buried, we swore; all thirteen of us that it would never happen again."

His voice was grave and fierce with the promise he'd made. His expression raised the hairs on the back of my neck. It was like the night out in the rain. Unlike that day, I wasn't scared. Rather I was drawn closer into the tale and his emotions. What had it been like for him, for all of them? I wasn't a vampire. I wasn't centuries old. I hadn't been born in war or knew danger like theirs. I would never know but when he spoke I couldn't help but listen.

"The whole world was in crisis. Chaos reigned. Vampires of all races, and even other supernatural beings as well as mortals were drawn in to the madness. We had to accept the hard truth. There was no way we could save everyone. So we washed our hands of the rest of the world and focused on Wildlings."

I was following everything he'd said so I knew something was missing. I counted in my head and I was still confused.

"I counted fourteen of you." I wondered. "Twelve Raven Elite, Pythia and Draco, right?"

He nodded. "After the Civil War, we turned to the people in search of a citizen that represented our new ideal; the one that put Wildlings first, second and always above all others even under the most difficult of circumstances. Draco answered the call. He wrote the Blood Laws and we as a people agreed to be bound by them."

I didn't get a vote but those laws were why I was here. They were why Eric couldn't just dub me a Wildling. Eric didn't say it but my presence here was proof. Powerful as he was, he wasn't above The Blood Laws either. He wouldn't have broken them to keep me. He would have continued to suffer the mental mayhem. He would have died.

I was annoyed that as punitive as this felt to me, it made sense so I didn't let myself dwell on it there were too many things that I didn't know. I needed to prioritize and categorize. My biggest worries had been assuaged or proven unwarranted. I had gone somewhere simpler and different and alien but not archaic. I've also stuffed myself silly on delicious food so I was no longer hungry. Most importantly it seemed as though Eric had every intention of sticking to our bargain. I decided that I could survive everything else, if only because I had to.

Now, seemed like an alright time to assuage my curiosity. After all it wasn't every day that I got to learn about a mythical world. I turned up to ask him about the Blood Laws and…I gasped and my train of thought scattered.

Eric was right beside me. The dishes were done and I hadn't noticed. I hadn't even heard him sidle up alongside me. Up close like this, the effects of his eyes on me were completely devastating. I sucked in a breath and not for the first time, my mind just seemed to go blank. Clarity didn't come; I was completely overcome by the scent of him. It was like being engulfed by cool crisp air with hints of Sandalwood and everything delicious.

"What were you thinking of just then?" he asked.

Against my weak will, my body leaned in closer to his. Had he smelled like this last night, or even earlier this morning? How had I not noticed? Enticing, seductive mouthwatering would be some of the adjectives I would use. I could lick him. The thought alone…caused my breathing to stop altogether.

"It made you smile," he stated.

All the while Eric's eyes were on my face. It was like he missed nothing but gave nothing away. Did he know? He couldn't. He couldn't read my mind. In the interest of being honest, I told him the truth.

"I was thinking about returning home."

He backed away and some of my sense returned. If not for the fact that I knew for sure I was immune to vampire mind control, I would have sworn he was making me react this way. I'd been attracted to men before but nothing explained why Eric was affecting me strongly. For crying out loud, I'd thought about licking him.

"I will require a few days to make arrangements for my absence, a week at most. Can you spare it?"

My first thought was that he was trying to stall. Before I knew it one week would turn into forever. Being a telepath meant that I often saw selfishness in people's minds that not even they knew was there. Somehow I had automatically put that beneath him. Why would he lie to me though? I was already here in his house, in some alternate universe. He didn't have to.

"Yes," I said.

It wasn't like it would be me much good to gripe about the money I was missing out on while on my impromptu vacation from work. It brought my mind to my poor helpless cat, Tina. She had run off once I'd landed here and I hadn't seen her since. Sure she was an outdoors cat but I didn't think even she would know what to do here.

"Do you think anyone has seen my cat?" I asked, Eric. "I brought her with me but she ran off a bit after we arrived.

He chuckled looking just as sexy as can be. "Yes, the children have her. She is safe in the Den with them."

It was the second time I heard mention of children. It seemed like the type of thing one should mention once they were married. For that matter why were his children in a den? Where was their mother? What number wife was I? Eric didn't give me a chance to answer. He was right back in my personal space holding his hand out to me and making it hard for me to breathe.

"I will show you the city, seeing Thalia is indisposed."

I took his hand forgetting about the jolt of awareness that his touch had sent through my body. It took everything I have not to yank my hand away when it hit me all over again. It would appear suspicious. His touch should be no big deal, they were big on touch here. I told myself that but as Eric lead me out of the house, the awareness of his touch became a tingle and I knew then that I'd made a mistake.

I'd thought I didn't have to be afraid of Eric. I was wrong. He was dangerous or rather his intoxicating appeal and my potent response was. I'd let my guard down just because my initial fears had been assuaged but it wouldn't happen again. I was here only as a means for him to save his sanity. He was nothing but my ticket out of the Wildlands.


	11. Chapter 11

I was never a homebody. That didn't change now that I was in some alternate universe. While I was getting a sweater out of my suit case, I found myself dragging my feet some. What would this place look like in the light of day? Would it appear more or less alien? Would the vampires be better able to spot me as human? There was only one way to find out.

When I joined him downstairs Eric was hanging out on his front steps. I heard him laughing as he waved at some passerby. I wished I knew what he was laughing at. He looked so happy with the sun light falling directly on his face. He looked different.

"I haven't slept in days."

He had told me but I just thought…I don't know what I thought. That he may have been lying or adding dramatic flair perhaps? That wasn't the case. It was one thing to know that something was wrong with him. It was another thing to be able to note a physical change in a creature that should be unchanging.

Eric's eyes appeared more alert and his skin seemed brighter. With that smile on his face he was utterly dazzling. It was there because of me because he had been able to sleep. I smiled too as I joined him. He took my hand and we walked in the opposite direction from everyone else.

"This is my personal nest of sorts," he said.

There was nothing around but trees. They spouted tens of miles into the sky. I guess this was one thing we had in common. This spot was remote at least during this time of day. He would be alone—no, we would be alone. Maybe we could start working on his shield. He didn't seem interested in that. His eyes were looking back the way we had come.

"I can see everyone but not a single thought." He whispered as if awed. "It is the strangest most wonderful feeling."

"Being a vampire with a nest is pretty strange too."

He looked over his shoulder at me and despite me trying to remain straight faced, he saw I was making fun of him. He rolled his eyes at me but there was a smile on his face. Before I knew it he was in my personal space and the ground disappeared from under my feet. I was flying. It confused me for a second until I looked down. I wasn't flying, Eric was flying and he had taken me with him.

When I realized what was happening I screamed. I'd all but melded my body to Eric's in attempt to keep from falling. Eventually, I ran out of air and found that I was still ascending at a slow and steady pace. Eric in typical guy fashion was laughing at me. I was mad at that for sure but the higher up I got the more I could see.

By the time Eric had settled us on a thick branch the height didn't bother me. From this vantage point I could see the entire city. He stood behind me keeping an arm around my waist and the contact brought with it the same heat. I did my best to ignore it because it wasn't like I wanted to brace these heights without it.

I'd never known the touch of a man innocent as this was, it wreaked havoc on me. He touched me as if it was normal to hold me so close, to have my back against his chest, to rest his head on mine. He did it with so much ease that I knew that I was the only one that was affected.

"Look," he said pointing ahead.

My breath caught and I stopped worrying about things that were out of my control. The sight was truly breath taking. I wasn't well versed in the ways of the world but I knew when I was looking at something that was beautiful and one of a kind. From up high in this tree I saw all that and more. The sun, the sky, the sea and its waves crashing on the shore, it all threw me through a loop. I knew that I would never ever see anything that rivaled this sight.

In the distance I spotted a roofless arena that I could identify as the site of the wedding yesterday. It was in the middle of everything. There were other large buildings around it but other than that there were homes as far as the eye could see.

"That is where the wedding party was." I said. "What are the other tall buildings?"

There were three others and I was curious because everything else looked the same but different. Eric sat down on the branch and pulled me to sit between his legs. I listened to him talk and found that I really enjoyed the sound of his voice. It wasn't just his voice but the way tit betrayed emotion. When he spoke of Thalia the fondness was apparent. When he talked about the Wild as a whole, there was a notable undertone of pride.

I learned that the place where the reception had taken place was called the Atrium. It was a roofless arena that sat directly in the middle of everything like I saw but I learned it was also of equal distance. The circular structure of the Atrium stadium was used nightly for one things or another. Other times it was reserved for large scale occasions such as weddings, celebration of births and burial rights.

The Building closest to Atrium was the Raven's training center. Eric spent a great deal of time there, he told me. Doubly it served as a living complex for Wildlings that were older than juveniles but too old to want to live at home but couldn't yet live alone. It was also the platform for young adults before they ventured into the Outer Wild. I didn't know exactly what it meant but I was too riveted to ask questions.

"The domed building due North of the atrium was the Justice Hall. That is where you came in. It is where the ceremony was officiated. It is where the library, the historical exhibits and courts can be found. It is also where Draco can be found."

I smiled. The way Eric talked about it was as if he had been gone from home for ages. I could tell that none of this had lost its beauty, not the way he talked about it. Rather, I felt like he hadn't been able to see it clearly in so long. Now he could.

"What is that building with the glass roof?" I finally asked.

"It is the market." He answered. "It is the largest of the four outlying buildings even without the underground storage. Speaking of which, we should head that way so you can get what you need for the week."

"I don't need anything," I immediately replied.

"We should go to make sure." he said.

Unlike my trip up, Eric gave me warning as we descended. It was just as much fun. By fun I meant I hid my face in his chest. When we touched the ground again, I was equally caught between wanting to stay right where I was and pushing him away to avoid the sizzling temptation of his body pressing against mine. Instead of giving into either urge, I asked a question as we began walking toward the city proper.

"What is the last building for?" I asked. "Why isn't it as tall?"

The warmth of the day was comfortable. The more piercing heat waves coming off him and crashing onto me were not. Damn. All my life I would like to think I was a lady but it seemed that in his presence I was kind of a pervert. It would be so much easier to remember that I shouldn't be lusting after him.

"That is the Den." Eric answered. "It is about the same height as the rest but it is mostly underground. With the exception of Halflings, vampires are not born immune to sunlight. It takes several centuries to build up immunity. So the Den is the safest place for them during the day. On the main floor are the healers. Pythia is there most of the time. Your cat is there probably inducing all manner of bad behavior in the children."

"Oh," was all I said.

When we arrived at the market, it became clear what Eric meant when he said I could get things I needed for the week here. I was trying to think of a store I'd ever been in or heard of that was larger than the Wal-Mart in Monroe. I came up with nothing. It was no surprise. I'd been few places outside my small town and I hadn't done anything while there. When I walked in the doors, I felt down right country. It wasn't just a Wal-Mart, it was a super duper Wal-Mart if there was ever such a thing back home. Whatever dialogue I'd been having with Eric left my mind, there was just so much stuff.

"Holy—"

"Shit." Eric finished.

I guess I had been saying a lot of that today. My face flushed and I didn't dare look up at him. I'd promised to be more vigilant in guarding against him and his swoon worthy smile, his heart melting eyes and his deep husky laugh. Seeing he was my guide, it was impossible to avoid temptation but I didn't think I was doing too bad a job. I just couldn't look at him or touch him. It felt like I was fighting gravity. It had taken every ounce of decency, self-preservation and strength I had to get this far. My biggest ally was the scenery. There was just so much to see and this store was definitely one of them.

The first thing I noticed in the store was the four checkout lines. Only two had people manning them. How was that possible in a place this big? It stopped mattering as I saw my kryptonite— "Little Debbie snacks"

'Come to mama.'

Without thought, I moved towards them. I reserved them for cheat days while on diets or when I was having a bad day. My current situation qualified as bad. Surely, I could have just a bite? Plus I'd been walking all day. Eric had been leading us since we left his house. I didn't know I was pulling him until he dug his heels in. I came to an abrupt halt and he had to steady me to keep me from falling. We were by at least three dozen modern looking carriages.

"I'll take one," he said.

Maybe I nodded to agree, maybe I didn't. I couldn't be sure but really who cared? I saw cinnamon buns! I grabbed a box but didn't put them in the cart. It was all I wanted and I held it possessively to my chest.

"I'm good." I declared.

He looked at me funny; like he was sure he was missing something. "That cannot be what you live on?"

There was a response in the back of my mind but then I found him looking at me. I saw it just as potently as I felt it. It left a tingle over my skin, leaving my knees weak. I felt so naked, so exposed and helpless.

"No," I answered looking away. "I only have money for this."

Before we had left his house I'd grabbed my purse, more out of habit that anything else. I had a few dollars in it. Surely it would be enough to buy me this one comfort food that reminded me of home.

He plucked the box of sweets from my unsuspecting grasp and set them in the carriage and walked on, leaving me to follow behind. The last option was not smart. In a store this big, I could really get lost.

"Take whatever you like." Eric replied. "Your money is useless here."

Dammit. I was in some far off place. They would probably look at my paper money like nothing. I probably needed gold doubloons or something. It didn't look like there was a place where I could exchange my American currency for the local one. I wouldn't care about the foreign exchange rate, I just wanted enough to buy my treats.

"Maybe next time," I muttered reaching for the box of heavenly goodness. I was going to put it back on the shelf but Eric moved it out of reach.

"You misunderstand me I think. There is no form of currency in The Inner Wild." Eric told me.


	12. Chapter 12

Eric's words were calm but I felt like it had been some kind of castigation. I let it go because I was intrigued all over again. Also I wasn't sure if it was directed towards me or the idea of money in general. A confrontation would mean eye contact, definitely a bad idea.

"So if you give everything away, why do you have people up front working? For that matter how do you get all this?" I waved a hand to encompass the humongous store.

So far nothing I saw was less than brand name, from the junk food to the cereals. That wasn't to say that there was a limit on the variety. I saw my 'Special K' but there were also some foreign brands I didn't recognize and what appeared to be organic blends in a jar. A few aisles right under the beams of the sun was what I presumed was the produce. That was stocked with things I recognized like apples but there were tall plants that bore exotic looking fruits. There were other floors and thousands of square feet that I couldn't see.

I hadn't meant to sound belligerent but by the tail end of my questioning I realized that I did. I risked a glance at him. Eric looked as cool as a cucumber albeit, curious.

"Lucky didn't tell you where you are, did he?"

Considering the way we met and the events that transpired since, I'd long since changed my opinion of Lucky without knowing it. That might be why I felt a sudden need to try to cover for the red headed vampire that had guided me into this world. It was obvious that Lucky wasn't the best sponsor ever. In fact Eric didn't seem the least bit surprised.

I nodded as I replied. "I'm in the Wildlands?"

Eric shook his head and it is clear that he is trying not to roll his eyes and or laugh. "I mean geographically, like on a map. That way you could compare where you were to where you are now. It eases the transition."

Well, it sure would have but no. I thought back to the exact moment when I walked away from everything I knew for a beautiful stranger in need, whose pain I knew. Nothing of the sort had come up as Lucky led me through the door. It showed on my face.

"I used the portals," Eric said. "So I do not know where you hail from. The Wild is in the Northern Americas; closest to the state of New York. Do you know of it?"

I should just get used to my jaw dropping. It had been happening all day and it wasn't even noon! Here I thought I was in a galaxy far, far away or half way to the Shire. Yet according to Eric, I'd only gone from the South to The Big Apple. Somehow that actually made this all more befuddling; not less.

"Do you eat this?" he asked, waving a can of tuna at me.

I nodded absently and he threw it in the cart. "This is New York." I asked.

He shook his head.

"No. It is closest to New York. We are in the Inner Wild. These parts are hidden from the outside world and away from the mainland. To answer your other question the entire state of New York is Wildling territory. That is how we afford this."

He paused after a long deliberation over several kinds of pasta. He decided on the pinwheels.

"Draco receives monthly tallies from every sector her,"

"Like the market?" I guessed.

He nodded absently. It shocked me because unlike everyone back home he wasn't impressed that I could follow something simple. He just seemed glad he didn't have to explain something he found boring. It was so normal in a conversation that I couldn't help but smile.

"Then there are the fields, the Den, the Healing Center and the Boats are the main others. It informs him of what is needed, how much and how many people are needed to work where. Once a month he receives a similar list from families and individuals requesting special provisions. Thereafter, he sends the list to Ciro who operates our banks in the Outer Wild, in New York City. Ciro calculates costs and releases the funds to the Den Master on duty out there. The Den Master makes the actual purchases and coordinates a supply run with one of the Elite and other Ravens, potato chips?"

I shook my head too awe struck to speak.

"I hear they are very good." He said turning the bag in his hands. He hesitated but in the end he dropped it in the cart anyway. I vowed to stay away from said chips. With the amount of weirdness around me I knew I would do something unwise for my waist line.

For a little while I just walked silently beside Eric as he filled the cart. He held out everything to me I nodded or just shrugged. Some things he added to the cart other items he returned to the shelf. I couldn't think on his reasoning. My mind was still reeling. I wasn't sure how to feel that the entire state of New York was owned by vampires and those vampires were secretly collecting rent to fund a secret hidden city and a vast vampire coven.

For one thing how could a city this size stay hidden? The city was small but it was still a city. How did it remain hidden from ships, explorers and all kinds of sonar technology? I'd gone from Bon Temps to New York just by walking through a door. The portals were another can of confusing worms all together. I wrapping my mind around it all just wasn't possible at the moment.

There wasn't a line when we were ready to check out and I couldn't say I'd seen another person. I guess most people were working or hiding from the sun if they weren't immune yet. The man that had greeted Eric and I on our way in was gone. A woman had taken his place. When she saw us she moved to get to her feet, Eric ghosted to her side to keep from rising. I didn't feel the brush of air that spoke of his departure until he was at her side.

Eric had his arms around her, he caressed her cheek lightly with his knuckles and she leaned into the touch. Something tight and ugly sprang up in me. I refused to examine it as I viciously shoved it away. Unlike my blinding attraction to tall, blond and handsome, it was easy to ignore what I suspected was jealousy.

"Good day, Lord Raven." she greeted.

"Uki, you should not be here," he replied pulling away to look her over.

I found it odd that Eric's tone held admonishment, it wasn't very palpable but it was there. She was unconcerned. It showed in her impish smile. He gave her a once over a few times. It was clinical but he didn't seem happy despite finding nothing wrong. I didn't know what to do with that. I guess it could join the growing pile of things I didn't know what to do with.

Of all the people I'd met or seen in passing today few were dressed as if they were from the same continent, country, culture or time. Heavily pregnant as she was she looked stunning and graceful. The smile on her face was so warm and so welcoming that I couldn't help but return it, jealous as I was.

"Ambrose is here today. I heard you were headed here with your bride. I invited myself along."

He said something in a different language and she laughed, though I was sure he hadn't meant to be funny.

"Hello, Lady Raven." She greeted.

I went on over and introduced myself but I wasn't expecting the great big hug I got. When she finally released me, we exchanged pleasantries. She fawned over my clothes, hair and even my purse. She tried to help Eric with the checked but he took the little gun and scanned the items himself. A dark skinned man arrived. Presumably this was Ambrose. He looked as harried as a man with a pregnant wife would.

The guy seemed too relieved that his wife was in her seat to offer me more than a fleeting pat on the arm. When we were walking out of the store, Eric only took a small green knapsack with enough to cook a meal. The rest he left behind, saying they would be brought to us later.

"I would not be opposed to carrying you," Eric offered. "If you are tired."

Yes, and then I would be all up against that rock hard body.

"No, thanks. I think I'll make it. It's just 48 rows." Or blocks.

I wanted to avoid temptation but I also wanted to see more of the city.

Once back at the house. Eric cooked lunch. He insisted so I left him to it, needing the time alone. My head still felt like it was too small to absorb and make sense of all of this. I had planned on eating but I hadn't expected to enjoy it so much. At the first taste I moaned but the food was so good I didn't care. I'd seen the commercial fridges and saw him make the selection.

I had no idea he could turn the chicken into this! My taste buds were enraptured over the pan seared chicken, wild rice and a side of mixed steamed veggies. I ate politely fighting the urge to find a large spoon so I could shovel larger bites into my mouth. The last thing I needed was for him to have to wipe something from my face, again. I controlled myself but in record time, I'd eaten every single bite. He offered me seconds and unable to help myself I accepted.

If I need any more reminding as to just how far from his league I was, I had it. Eric was a vampire that would make Adonis eat his little heart out. He was also kind of a big deal amongst other vampires. He could fly. His smile could melt ice and he was an excellent cook. Not to mention he was kind. His strength was truly unbelievable, vampire or no. If I was him, having to go on so long without being able to shield my mind, I would be stark raving mad.

All throughout lunch I was going through great lengths not to look at Eric. That of course meant I was looking at him to make sure he wasn't looking either. That was how I noticed him leaning towards the window. It was clear he was hearing something that I didn't or couldn't.

"I am needed," he said, confirming my suspicions. "Will you be alright on your own?"

I don't know why that rubbed me the wrong way. I thought he had showed me around today because it was the polite thing to do. The thought that he had done so because he presumed I was helpless or a dumb blonde infuriated me. Before him and his vampire friends intruded on my life I had lived alone for two years. Prior to that I had helped support Gran. I didn't need a goddamned baby sitter.

"I'm not an idiot." I snapped.

I'd meant to sound calm and cool if only a little icy. Instead I sounded like I was barking and looking to bite. He just watched me and I felt a sudden sting of shame but it was too late. My tempter showed itself and I rose from the table, taking my plate with me and to the sink.

Then I strode out of the kitchen and stomped up the stairs. As I climbed the first stair I realized being angry at Eric was better than lusting shamelessly after him. It was better than denying that lust. Anger washed it all away. It made me see nothing but the bad. It wasn't healthy but it gave me reprieve. I wasn't fighting his consuming attraction when I let my short temper take lead.


	13. Chapter 13

Children of The Corn!

That was the first thought I had when I woke. They were everywhere. If not for the unfamiliar setting it might have sounded ridiculous even to my sleep laden mind. Such as it was, I screamed and they retreated and with terrified screams of their own. In another blink the door way was full of people. In the same instant the children ran. I saw them enfold themselves behind the adults leaving me sitting there like the interloper I was. At the center of the crowd was Eric.

"Sorry," I said, sitting up.

When I sat up I saw the groceries Eric had purchased earlier. He had explained that everyone worked, including the older kids. This must be their jobs. I was embarrassed although in my defense I've been having a weird couple of days. If I had taken just a second I would have taken better notice of the children and they were just that, children, well teenagers. Directly behind Eric was a smaller child who appeared to have a tail. I would know that tail anywhere, Tina.

The teenagers fell into rapid speech in several languages at the same time. I didn't understand nary a one. Eric seemed to follow them easily. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help but notice how Eric's hair fell. It was in a loose almost messy plait.

Nope. Don't even go there. Please Sookie, if you know what's good for you, you will so not go there.

I scolded myself but his presence was impossible to ignore. Seconds after I'd slammed the door behind me earlier I'd regretted it. Deep down I'd mourned the loss of his company and his heady scent. I'd wanted nothing more than to have him hold my hand again while I was in this crazy place. Ironically it was the same handholding that I'd thrown over.

Sookie Stackhouse, you best find your gumption, right now.

Wanting Eric was like wanting fillet mignon and aged wine on a cheese burger and water budget. It just wasn't wise or possible for that matter. I was out of my league, out of my depth and out of my mind if I thought otherwise. The little boy that had Tina in his arms let her down and reached up for Eric.

I felt a pang of something. It wasn't jealousy. I would describe it as burning curiosity mixed with apprehension. Was he Eric's son? They didn't look alike but what did I know. The thought consumed me as the vampire in question reached down and picked him up automatically, perching the boy expertly on his hip. Eric turned to face the door said something in another language and the small crowd dispersed with understanding nods, waves and smiles. He closed the door and moved into the house.

"Forgive me if I was unclear but I did mention that the food would be delivered later?" his voice was calm but I felt like I was being accused of something. Given what just happened I thought I was.

"Yes, you did. I knew. I was half asleep." I said "They just came in."

"The door was open." He inserted.

If that was supposed to explain everything, it didn't. "I didn't mean to scare them or anything."

"No. They are worried they did something wrong."

"They didn't, I'm just easy to scare." I told him.

Eric snorted a laugh as to say, 'Bullshit'. In combination with his smile, I almost melted into goo. Goddamn, I was weak for this vamp. It was either habit or a really great choreographed circus trick as Eric reached for the bags of groceries. The child ducked under his arm and saddled behind his back wrapping his arms around his neck and legs around his middle. From behind Eric's back he watched me curiously.

I smiled and tried to look non-threatening but I didn't know what to say and I felt awkward beyond all possible reason. I was off to a great start at being an evil step mother, I thought. What does one say when meeting their vampire step son for the first time? Not that Eric was helping as he was yet to make introductions.

Nothing I'd learned so far had prepped me for dealing with curious baby vamps. He was a dark haired hazel eyed little boy like any other I'd ever seen. It only confused me further but neither man nor child paid me any mind. Having nothing else to do, I got up and helped put things away.

The little boy said something in yet another language, was that the third or fourth that Eric spoke? I'd lost count. Whatever he'd said had Eric shaking his head in response. When the child spoke again, Eric laughed. He explained before I could get annoyed.

"He said that girls are confusing. I told him that it never gets better."

The boy said something else and Eric translated albeit hesitantly. "He also says that you smell good."

Okay. "Thanks…I think."

It should be a compliment but from a baby vamp who was now staring at my wrists, not so much. I realized then that I could read him. I hadn't been wrong to assume he was eying me for his next meal either. His thoughts were readable but not entirely clear. I could get the gist of things but not the full picture or even words.

Interesting.

Eric reached back and gently tapped the child's nose. It was a message because he quickly clapped his hand over his nose so I no longer looked or smelt like I was a chocolate chip cookie. I didn't know if that bothered me or not. Tina sauntered into the room, brushed me with her tail and then made her way toward Eric. She meowed once and the little boy was sliding down picking her up and cuddling the treacherous feline.

Et tu Tina?

I should have named her Judas. She was shamelessly purring as he scratched her and she was staring at me the whole time as if to say, 'he knows how to treat me'. She'd used to do the same thing when Gran was alive and she wanted to make me jealous. Seriously, you think you know a feline and Bam! Then after a day, in the world of the mythical and supernatural she turns coat.

Eric began making dinner. "Where were you earlier?" He asked. "I came home but you were gone."

Oh. I didn't know he knew I'd gone out. My confusion and anger had me ready to scream or worse, cry. Getting out of the house seemed like the best option, even better I wasn't supervised. Yes, I got lost but that wasn't the point.

"I went to the forest." I said.

I'd retraced my steps to Eric's nest. I wasn't looking for him or anything. Although if I'd found him I would have apologized. I must have gotten turned around, things weren't as easy to follow once out of the city proper. I ended up past the trees I'd been aiming for. I explored for something to do. The deeper I went the taller trees gave way to a meadow that boasted the most vibrant and exotic collection of flowers I had ever seen. It was tucked away almost hidden by a valley overlooking the water. I quickly left because despite its beauty something about it seemed sacred and sad.

"You got lost didn't you?"

It wasn't a question.

"I'm not helpless." I kept the bite out of my words because we had an audience. At least I thought we had. I looked but the little boy and Tina were nowhere to be seen.

"That is why you were angry with me earlier. You took my show of concern as… an insult? That is different."

I had. Earlier, I realized being angry at Eric was easier than lusting shamelessly after him. Anger was easier than denying that lust. Anger washed it all away. It made me see nothing but the bad. It wasn't healthy but it gave me reprieve. I wasn't fighting his consuming attraction when I let my hot head take lead. My temper might be short but it burned out quickly. I didn't have the energy right now. I told him the truth because the other truth made me look crazy and irrational.

"I'm used to taking care of myself, going where I want, when I want. Here I'm being treated like a child."

He stopped and looked at me for so long that I began to squirm. "You witnessed a bloody battle amongst creatures you didn't know existed. You faced your death. Then you were transported into a strange land where you married a stranger, not only a stranger but a vampire. If anything like that happened to me, I would want someone to take extra care, I would want them to hold my hand."

Well when he said it like that, he made me sounded unreasonable. Okay maybe, I was a little.

"Yet, you wish to be left to your own devises, I will respect it."

No. I didn't want to be left to fend for myself but I didn't know how to ask for help even when I needed it. It was partly because I was a telepath but mostly because I was raised to be a strong, find my own way, and stand on my own two feet kind of woman. It never occurred to me that never asking for help meant not knowing how to accept it when it was offered.

Eric turned the fish over in the pan, expertly tending to the sauce in the other pan. "For the record, I do not wish the same when we go to your home."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure you'd be fine." Gorgeous really.

He shrugged. "I might get lost like someone else I know who is refusing to admit it."

I was not going to smile. He wasn't being cute or charming or any of that. He shot me a smirk over his shoulder, the cheeky bastard. I stuck my tongue out at him refusing to cop to it. He chuckled and it was such a happy sound that I found myself smiling along with him. Hopeless was what I was, completely. I didn't want to be. I told myself that the only reason I was having this reaction to him was because I was a virgin.

Virgin though I was, I wasn't a prude. It was quite the contrary. No one knew the true definition of lust like a telepath. I'd witnessed it by proxy but I hungered for it. Since I'd been cursed, I'd been starving for the touch of another living thing whose mind I couldn't read. That explained why I wanted Eric but not why I didn't want all the other vampires I'd come across thus far. It wasn't the silence that came with vampire minds I realized.

It was Eric, him and him alone. There was something unique in the timber of his voice and just….everything. Goddammit! I just wanted, no I needed to be free of this man—vampire, whatever. I just needed to let it go, let him go. I wanted to be free and my attraction marred that goal.

Eric and I ate in silence. In between the zealous game of catch and release that the little boy was playing with Tina, he ate forkfuls of food he was offered. Eric still didn't make introductions. I suppose to them it was normal and familiar to me…I had no idea how to feel.

"Knox, we are playing," a voice called.

I almost screamed again but I didn't. It's easier this time because my mouth is full. The face in the window was one I'd seen before. It was Lucky's daughter. Her perfectly tinted reddish blonde hair was impossible to forget. Eric beamed at her with adoration and pride. She blew him a kiss. I managed a wave and a smile. She eyed me and it wasn't friendly.

"Father told me you kicked him." she accused. "Did you do this?"

I would have smiled at her reproachful tone but she looked plenty serious. "I did. It was a misunderstanding."

"It was wrong, so please do not do it again and maybe you say sorry if you want and explain to him the misunderstanding."

I nodded and was sure to look sorry. "Okay."

She smiled at me and finally returned my wave. The boy, Knox took the time to set Tina down slowly, carefully as if she were made of glass. Then I watched in stunned silence as he scaled up on the counter top and out the window over the kitchen sink. Eric said nothing. He didn't seem surprised when Knox crawled right back in the way he'd gone.

He jumped into Eric's lap and received the same kind of greeting I'd witnessed Eric give the full grown woman at the grocery store. Between him and a child it didn't look that strange but it only made my curiosity flare.

"Tell your parents hello for me," Eric said as he let him go.

I was so confused. How was that boy not his son? He had been so affectionate and indulgent. The boy in turn had been comfortable with him, and the house. The boy nodded and vanished with his little feet pattering away and laughing as he went. I didn't expect Tina to follow, leaving me alone with my—gulp—husband but she did. Having nothing else to do, I focused on my meal. It didn't my mind long to return to the one place I didn't want it.

Thinking about Eric brought with it the urge to look at him. I fought it but it just kept gnawing at me. Just one look, I told myself. As if he could feel the heat suffusing my body and the weight of my stare, he looked up. Even after being caught staring and I couldn't seem to look away. Say something, stupid! Telepathy was a good subject.

"I can read the children." I managed to force out. "It's not clear but I can get an idea on what their thinking."

"I am not surprised. Their minds have always been the loudest but I find it to be the most serene." He replied. "Tell me, how did your telepathy manifest?"

"I was normal until I was five. Then one day it just happened. I woke up and the little girl I was… was gone forever," and it was one of the worse days of my life.

"Who taught you to control it?"

"No one," I replied.

His brows arched in question. "I do not understand, Sookie."

The sound of my name on his lips was downright sinful. Suddenly I was eager to run. I felt too close, too hot, and too needy. I got to my feet and began clearing up. When he rose to help I waved him away. I needed something to focus on that wasn't him.

"Like you, I found a mind I could latch onto. My Gran wasn't a telepath but her mind was calm and peaceful enough for me to build my shield around. I thought of the way she protected me everywhere else and it just translated mentally."

"That is nothing like mine. I was born with mine, I think, but I barely noticed it. It was very weak, and for a few centuries I did not hear actually thoughts. I just had subtle inclinations about the people around me. Not emotions or pictures just…"

Words seemed to fail him and he paused as if worried he had lost me.

"You probably just thought you were perceptive because what you could sense was vague but it was always right."

He nodded. "Yes, exactly that."

"So what happened to change that?" I wondered.

"My mother killed herself." He said. "The first real thought I'd ever heard were hers as she died."

I didn't know what he felt about it. I didn't know what I should say about it. He ran his hand around his neck, as if he found something missing, he looked at me.

"How can you be certain you can teach me?" he asked. "We are so very different."

In his quarry I saw so much of his hope die but what struck me was the lack of anger. I wanted to have all the answers but I didn't. This was all new to me too. I didn't exactly have experience in teaching 'Shielding Against Telepathy 101' to vampires no less. When I was trying to keep out human minds I had tricks that might not apply to his kind. What made it harder was it was such an intangible thing. I couldn't draw him a picture.

I felt like he was he was putting undue pressure on me but I understood his desperation. The expression on his face was such a heartrending blend of hope, fear and pain. It cut through the pressure I felt and shot right through to my heart, so much so that I made him a promise.

"I can teach it to you." I replied. "I promise, you'll learn. I won't leave you until you do."

I would do everything in my power to keep him from going back to a mental hell even it meant altering the terms of our agreement. That was a great plan but…What would happen if Eric couldn't learn despite both our efforts? What would I be willing to do for him then? I didn't know but abandoning him felt wrong.

Dammit all to hell!

I never knew it but I guess I was one of those many stupid people that were suckers for pretty faces. Even as I had the derisive thought I knew that wasn't the case. I admired Eric's mental fortitude. I couldn't imagine being in my mother's head as she died. I couldn't imagine being laid bare for days never mind centuries. Most of all, I admired his inherent kindness and dedication to others despite his own suffering.

I couldn't imagine such a fate. To feel your sanity slipping from your grasp and being lost in the never ending stream of other peoples every thought. He didn't even resent the people around him. He loved them, cared for them and defended them. Someone that gave so much didn't deserve to suffer such a wretched end. I would do anything to help him.


	14. Chapter 14

After the long day, a shower helped. I cleaned up and for an instant it felt normal. When I closed my eyes, it was like I was home. Thinking of home made me think of my brother, Jason. We weren't close as we once were but he was the only family I had left. I couldn't help but worry about him or about my little farmhouse. Those thoughts were still weighing on me when I returned downstairs. There wasn't much I could do about it now, so I pushed from my mind.

"What's the matter?" Eric asked.

My back stiffened just as the rest of me seemed to liquefy and heat from his proximity alone.

'You,' I replied silently. 'You are what's wrong, with your voice like melted chocolate and eyes like blue flames. Please turn down the sexiness. Reckon if you could manage that, I'd be much obliged.'

I took a few seconds to brace myself before facing him. It was a good thing I did. Eric had showered and changed also. He was now in a pair of grey linen pants and a long sleeve blue Henley top. Hair that shined like gold in the sun was now dampened and darkened to the color of warm honey. My fingers itched to touch it.

He had also asked me a question. What was it again? Oh right!

"Nothing." I said. "I'm fine."

His lips curved forming an impish smile.

"I might not be able to read your mind but it is obvious that being a telepath has left you unable to tell a convincing lie."

He was so right that it was embarrassing.

"Fine. The truth is that it's none of your business." I replied. "Happy?"

I didn't know what reaction I'd expected but I definitely didn't expect him to laugh. The sound of it was as riveting as the first time I'd heard it.

"Yes," he replied.

I didn't blink but between one blink and the next he was in front of me sucking all the air out of the room and reason from my brain.

"Very."

My mouth was suddenly dry and my body inexplicably hot. His eyes zeroed in on my lips. It was a reflexive thing. I ran my tongue over my lips. His hold tightened and he leaned into me. I battled the lust that I felt helpless against. My mind was screaming for me to run and my body refused to even consider parting with his. Eric's lips were a breath from mine but he pulled back. I was glad for it because I didn't know what I would have done, probably made a fool of myself that was sure.

"We must go out tonight." He said. "It is a tradition every newlywed Raven undergoes. If we do not go, they will come here for us."

Even if I wanted to argue I didn't think I could. Eric grabbed onto me and before I knew it, we were flying. Being pressed this tightly up against him as I was, it did bad things to my brain power. We had cleared several blocks and were almost at the Atrium before he set me down on my feet.

I steadied myself but the scene around me stole my breath away.

"Wow," I whispered for what had to be the millionth time today. "It's so beautiful."

"Yes, this is good but there is nothing like the winter nights; with the ice glittering from the crystals and the blankets of snow and the way the ocean glows under the moon; it is my favorite time."

I couldn't imagine but the serene expression on his face made me wish for the barest glimpse. Eric seemed so at peace and so happy. His head was turned upward, gazing at the night sky. No, I couldn't imagine but even I could see the difference between the days and nights in the Wild.

The quaint beauty and quiet splendor of the Wild was more profound at night. Earlier I had gotten a bird's eye view and it had been stunning. The entire city had gleamed like a shimmering pearl basking under the sun. I had walked the streets to and from the market but at the beat now was entirely different.

There was a spark in the air that had been missing in the day. Under the glow of the crystal lamps with the help of the moon and stars the pulse of this magical place thrummed heavier. I felt it from my head to the tips of my toes. It was everywhere. Children ran, darting this way and that, yelling and laughing as they played. The adults shouted out warnings and did their best not to become casualties in their fun. From above, teenage vampires hung on the roof tops playing their own games. All of it served to add a magical note to the rhythm of The Wild.

As Eric and I began to walk around the outer edge of the Atrium, it wasn't empty as it had been earlier; people were strewn about talking and laughing. There was a game that resembled soccer being played around the outermost ring of the Atrium. More like extreme vampire soccer, the players were moving too fast but I saw the two stagnant figures that were diligently guarding three circles that were on opposite sides of the stadium. Dead ahead of us was one of the four main buildings I'd noticed earlier.

"Which one is that again?" I asked Eric.

"This is the…"

"The Raven's Nest!" Someone finished for him.

The man was lean and just an inch or so taller than I was. He reminded me of a live wire. His hair was dark and eyes were afire. He was brimming with excitement, at what I couldn't tell but it made me plenty nervous all the same. Eric sighed but there was a smile on his face, making him appear both resigned and eager at what was to come.

The speaker turned away from Eric and me, cupping his hands around his mouth he addressed the building.

"Ravens!" Brown Eyes said while sliding between Eric and me.

There was a collective, "Rah!" from so many people that it made my ears ring.

"Your Lord and his new bride approaches."

The cry ascended to deafening decibels. The speaker wrapped his arms around both our waists as he herded us towards the door and whatever madness waited for us.

"Alas, they are not drunk!"

People whooped and hollered and jeered. Why wasn't I surprised to see Thalia hanging out of a window several floors up? The noise reached fever pitch and then several more vampire that were presumably Raven's rushed out as if not being wasted was a crime. Maybe it was. What the hell did I know? I really didn't think I would like what was about to happen. I looked to Eric but he smiled reassuringly.

I got separated from Eric after the swarm of Ravens swept us up in well-wishes and congratulations. Lucky was there too. He kissed my head but he wasn't there for me. He hooked his arm around Eric's neck and dragged him off with the help of a few other men. I ended up in a lounge area a few flights up.

Somehow I got landed with Thalia too.

Oh, Brother!

"Hello!" she greeted, with a hug.

Really, hello? She had ditched me, twice.

"Are you forgetting the part where you're supposed to be there for me to answer questions?"

She waved me off. "I am here now."

"I'm pretty sure it has something to do with alcohol and food being present."

"You know my mother well," a woman said.

The voice sounded familiar and it brought a frown to my face even before I fully realized why. When I looked up it all made sense. She was a spitting image of Thalia. I knew vampirism equated to immortality. I'd even seen children but to see someone that looked so young call someone that looked just as young, 'Mother' knocked me through a loop and left me reeling. Beside her were three other women.

"I am Vesper." She said coming over to hook her arm with mine. "That is Calisto, Ayame and Merida."

I was trying to place the last woman's face. While it was familiar it wasn't as obvious as with Vesper.

"You rearranged her husbands man bits."

Of course that not so helpful comment came from Thalia. That vamp was about as helpful as a bag of rocks to a person that was drowning.

"That was a misunderstanding and let me assure you Marisol gave me a firm talking to."

To my relief the woman, Merida laughed.

"You are most welcome." She greeted hugging me.

Then the other women joined in. Instinctively, I braced for the onslaught of three different minds engulfing mine due to touch but I got nothing. It was still strange to me that I couldn't read the people around me. I'd been here on this far and impossible place for barely a full day and it still felt like a dream. I was still shirking away from touch and spending energy to shield my mind and neither was necessary. It was odd but pleasant at the same time. As I was basking in that truth, they were all looking at me expectantly, except for Thalia, she was stuffing her face.

"I'm not sure what we're supposed to be doing." I confessed.

They all laughed.

"No one does!" Calisto answered.

"When you wed we all volunteered to be your sisters." Merida explained, waving at the room. "Even as a vampire, I can attest that there is nothing like being Wildling."

"Here, here!" Thalia cheered raising her cup.

"We will gather a few things to get the night underway." Ayame said.

Ayame and Calisto returned heavily armed with food, alcohol, spindles of fabric, hair accessories, make-up and more alcohol. They dropped their spoils on the table and gathered around it. I was the focus of attention and I wanted to recoil but there were no disparaging glances, pity or apprehension. All I saw were smiling friendly faces.

"So tell us what you wish to know." Vesper said, as she began picking through the basket of goodies.

"I don't really have any questions. Eric and I talked. He explained a lot."

There was a collective grumble of displeasure from everyone except Thalia.

"So now what are we to do?" Calisto said.

"Drink!" Thalia declared.

They all cheered. In no time at all Merida began mixing drinks and handing them out. I didn't know how I was going to get out of it. If I was being honest, a part of me didn't want to. I was curious. It was safe to indulge my curiosity. There was so much I didn't know, not so much about where I was or the customs but the people. Vesper offered me a bottle of nail polish from her haul. It was the top shelf stuff. It was such a little thing that was so normal in a setting that was far from it. She obviously noticed the way I was looking at it.

"It is to temporarily color nails." Vesper told me. "Is this not a thing where you are from?"

"It is." I said.

I've just never had room for such brands in my budget.

"Do you want to be painted first? I am very skilled at applying." She offered.

"No, that's alright."

She clapped her hands excitedly. I painted her nails while idly listening to the chatter around me. There was a lot of it. Most of it was about Thalia and her husband. From what I gathered, she was in the 'Dog House' with her husband. That was why she'd been absent. Apparently, she had been there for months now. From what I could see, it was clearly getting to her. Merida looked like this was old news. Thalia went back and forth with Calisto and Ayame as they offered possible solutions.

"I have told you, Mother. He wants to be needed by you more."

"I do need him. I need him to stop ignoring me! I need him to come home. That is what I need him to do." she snapped.

"You are acting your age." Vesper said with a sad shake of her head. "And it shows."

In the end Thalia stalked off, angrily. It was clear that she wasn't coming back.

No wonder no one had seemed bothered that she had shirked her duty. Lucky had taken on the role without complaint. Eric had done the same the next day. Watching Thalia leave without the smile that I thought was common for her made me pardon her from her lack of help. The other women didn't seem bothered by her exit so I figured it wasn't anything to worry about.

"So tell us," Ayame asked me, quite literally out of nowhere. "Have you ridden the Lord Raven yet?"


	15. Chapter 15

The question was so unexpected that it left me gaping. I slid the nail polish brush far over Vesper's cuticle. She waved me away when I offered an apology. Her frown however was focused on Calisto and Merida. They seemed to going through great lengths not to laugh at her. Ayame, however was in stitches.

"No," Vesper said.

"We have to ask to ensure that our sister is a happy, well sated bride." Ayame added.

If my face wasn't the shade of a tomato, then it certainly wasn't far off. I was a virgin that was being asked to dish about a sex life I didn't have. It was embarrassing but what had my pulse racing was the image, of me on top of Eric. What would it be like to have his body in mine, to have those strong hands all over my body; exploring and claiming me like no man had ever done before. What would it be like to have his taste on my tongue, his hardness against my softness?

"By all the Gods, I beg of you. No."

"It is part of the duty. Sookie may have questions about…"

"He is my Godfather. I have no desire to hear what The Lord Raven does in bed with his wife. Fetch me when this portion is done."

Vesper jumped to her feet. She ran out of the room flapping her hands in an effort to dry them as she went.

All the other women jeered, calling her a baby. If she cared it didn't show because she kept right on running. I watched Vesper go wishing that I could follow. When that window closed the other women were looking at me expectantly, I decided to come clean.

"It's not like that. We aren't intimate," I told them.

Why did it sound like my statement was missing the word, 'yet'? It could be the fact that I was so attracted to him that I could barely think. It didn't change a thing. I had my objectives and we had our deal. Sex could never be a part of it. It would make things so much more complicated than they were.

"Well, allow me to impart this wisdom onto you, when you ride a Raven you will never forget it," Calisto said. "I married the first one that took me for a flight."

Calisto, Ayame and Merida fell out laughing and hooting like drunken sorority girls. Oh man! What had I gotten myself into? I really wished I could be anywhere else right now but I still couldn't help but smile. This felt like everything I'd ever overheard about female bonding. I was out of my element for sure and it wasn't even because they were vampires.

Save family, I'd never had friends growing up. I'd certainly never been around this many women just for fun. Was this what it was like to have girlfriends? I hoped not because it would make me sad to think of how much I missed out on, how much my telepathy had robbed me of. I decided to take this experience for what it was, if only for tonight. It wasn't like I could escape it.

"You will have no worry of diseases." Merida told me.

I knew of the vampire races but I had also seen vampire young.

"What about getting pregnant?" I asked.

Ayame looked crestfallen and wistful as she replied. "Darek and I have been trying for twelve years now." She said.

I felt like a total ass. Twelve years, that was almost half my life! I was ready to apologize for being inadvertently hurtful but Calisto's dismissive snort cut me off but it was Merida who spoke up.

"You cannot tell your body what to do, you know this, Ayame. It took me twice that long to have Marisol. Calisto, it took you three decades to have Earie, was it?"

"Three and a half," Calisto corrected. "Worrying yourself will have the opposite effect on your body. Octavia has told you this."

Ayame huffed, a sign of resignation and frustration.

"Is that normal?" I wondered.

They all nodded.

"Turned Ones cannot produce young. They are dead. Vampires; born, Halfling and Changed are not nearly as fertile as other species. It is nature's way to control our population. Every few centuries there are bursts of births. Generally procreation requires concentrated effort, blood exchanges and many years to conceive."

"These are tales of course." Ayame added. "It is not law. There is only five years between my mother and her younger sister. They are considered twins."

"As long as you are human it will be all but impossible to conceive." Merida said.

What else would I be? Then it hit me that no one knew my marriage to Eric was a sham. They didn't know that it had been born of his desperation to save his sanity and my will to live. There would be no happily ever after. I wouldn't be getting changed into vampire and he wouldn't come live the life of a simple human with me.

"There are Halflings, of course." Merida continued. "At least in The Wild."

It was as if those words cast a dark cloud in the room. They were silent and I knew why. Halfling vampires were targeted by all sects because they were only half vampire. No one had to explain it to me. From the little Eric had told me about vampire wars being about purity of blood, it was obvious.

Vesper returned and the topic changed for which I was glad. I asked the little idle questions that had been nagging me, like why they had plumbing but no electricity. It didn't matter that I felt silly asking about where their trash went or the dirty laundry, yet they answered each question with enthusiasm.

Nothing was off limits to talk about. Seriously, I mean nothing at all. I learned so much but it didn't feel like enough. They assuaged my curiosity about The Wild and customs, nothing I learned gave me insight to dealing with Eric. With the exception of Merida and me, the other women were born Wildlings. None of them knew much about Eric.

He had always been a pillar in the Wild since its founding thousands of years ago. Thousands of years…that number threw me through yet another loop. Just how old was that vampire? I simply had to know and this was a grand opportunity.

"How old are you?" I asked Vesper, casually.

She seemed the youngest of their group. Knowing how old she was might give me some idea as to how old Eric was. He was her Godfather after all and he and her mother were best buds.

"Four hundred and eighty." She replied.

"How old is Eric?"

"Oldest in all the Wildlands."

It was Ayame who'd replied. By the time she was done with her makeup, she looked like she was wearing a 'Kabuki' mask. It was feminine but kind of scary. I was curious about where she was going but I was afraid that she would answer.

"There is some debate. My father's fourth mother—"

"Your father's fourth mother?" I wondered out loud.

"My father's mother's great grandmother," Calisto explained.

Four mothers. I guess when everyone stayed forever young, there had to be some kind of system.

"She says that Pythia is the oldest of us in The Wild."

Ayame shook her head. "My father's third mother says that Lady Pythia only appears so. She was changed so late into her human years."

I listened to them argue about it. First it was just Ayame and Calisto going back and forth. Then Merida and Vesper joined in. Having nothing to add I listened intently. Their conversation was odd. They disagreed, vehemently but there was no undercurrent of aggression, hostility or disrespect over differences in opinion. From what I got, there were three people that were the oldest in the land. Wouldn't you know that Eric was one of them along with Thalia and Pythia?

"Let's just say the difference in age is a few years amongst them, what would be the ball park figure?" I interjected.

"The who?" Calisto.

"What ball?" Vesper asked.

They stopped their debate. Four sets of eyes turned to me in confusion. Colloquial speech must really be like vampire kryptonite. I smiled in apology but I was glad I could get them to focus. Since I arrived here, no scratch that. Since going out in the rain to fetch my linen, I'd been a fish out of water. It might make me extremely petty but I enjoyed having to explain something to them instead of the other way round.

"'Ball park figure' is a figure of speech. It is meant to describe an estimated answer or ones best guess to a question."

"Ah…" They all said at once.

"The ball park on their age," Ayame began.

She paused and eyed me in question. I nodded to indicate that she had used the term correctly.

"It is at least five thousand but less than six."

Holy shit! I reached for my drink and took a hearty swing. The burn felt good. It helped me process and stay focused.

Eric wasn't just robbing the cradle he was robbing the hands that had rocked it countless times over.

If I was being honest, I'd had fun and I hadn't thought about Eric…much while I'd been upstairs with the other women. I had forgotten where I was and why I was there and how I'd come to be there. . I wasn't sure how I felt … I had no reference on what it would be like but it was nice. I was the focus but not in a bad way.

I didn't talk much because really what did I have to add? Still I hadn't felt left out of the conversations mainly because I didn't have to block their thoughts. I also didn't have to desperately try to avoid physical contact that was so common in lieu of close conversations with friends. It was so strange but I guess that this was what normal felt like. It wasn't something I've ever experienced while amongst my own species. I didn't read too deeply into what that said about me, that I couldn't fit in with humans.

"I have Den duty this week," Ayame said as she pulled me from my thoughts. "You are free to join me if you are not attending to your husband."

Vesper groaned and plugged her ears with her finger. They were definitely out to torture her. The other women told me where they were working and offered similar invitations. Vesper offered too but she wasn't a day walker so she wouldn't be much for company in the day. I was also told I could opt to remain here with them if I wanted to.

"Thank you," I said.

I wasn't just being polite. More than once I'd heard mention of the Den and I was curious so I chose to go with Ayame. Plus if I was with her, I wouldn't be all alone with Eric. Ayame said her goodbyes then she headed for the window and jumped. Instead of the thud of her body hitting the floor, I heard the tingling song of her many bracelets, waist chains and anklets clattering as she landed on the ground.

This was definitely some kind of vampire bachelorette party. After Ayame left, the rest of us changed clothes and moved downstairs. I found myself in some kind of lounge slash billiard. There was a band and music was pounding. It had been like prom, you know if prom was in a dimly lit bar and had alcohol and vampires.

I saw several pool tables and darts but there were other makings of games I couldn't begin to identify. I saw Eric too and even from across the room, his face made my heart skip a beat. How was it that his smile could have the same effect on me when he wasn't even looking my way?

Eric was hanging back laughing. Loud mouth; brown eyes spied me staring at Eric. He winked at me as he jabbed Eric in the side and pointed at me. He was grinning the entire time too as if he was doing me a favor. I spun around half to hide my blush and the fact that I'd been caught staring. Mostly though, I wanted the floor under me to open up and swallow me whole. That didn't happen so I did the next best thing.

"Let's dance!" I said.

I pulled Calisto and Vesper. I didn't need to tell them twice. They came along with delighted laughs. It had begun as a way to avoid the most embarrassing moment ever but it turned into me actually having fun. For someone that loved to dance, I seldom enjoy it at least with other people. It was because of telepathy but mostly it was because I didn't have friends to do it with.

At some point, Merida was gone. Lucky had her in his arms as they danced in a dark corner. Honestly, you would think he hadn't seen her in ages. The look on his face was one of total adoration. The other ladies weren't having any of that. After a few dances the ladies pried Merida from him and kicked him to the curb, booing him as he went. That was actually funny. She might be his wife but she belonged to us tonight, or so I assumed.

By the time I took a break to a get drink I was laughing for no good reason other than I was having a good time. I had almost forgotten where or who I was hiding from, until I saw him staring at me from across the room. As I'd been doing all day I looked away when I turned in the general direction he'd been in, I found myself face to chest with him. He wrapped his arms around me.

"I enjoyed watching you." He said. "You are a beautiful dancer."

Stilling my nerves, I risked a glance at him from under my lashes. "Thank you."

He dropped his hands not to let go but to rest them on my hips. "Will you dance with me?"

There were a lot of reasons why it was a bad idea but the part of me that had been battling myself over him was tired. Everything else I'd done tonight had been so much fun, so why not this?

"Are you sure you can keep up, Old Man?"

If there was one thing I was great at, it was cutting a rug.


	16. Chapter 16

Eric laughed as he drew me close.

"I'll have you know I'm quite nimble for a man my age." He replied.

His scent was intoxicating, more intoxicating then anything I had drunk this evening. The feel of his hard body pressed tightly against mine. It made my stomach flutter and my heart thud almost violently in my breast. I was suddenly feeling like this wasn't a good idea. When his arm snaked around my waist, bringing me even closer, I missed a step. I couldn't think about him so I grabbed onto the next best thing, the music.

I let myself go and soon it didn't matter that I wasn't supposed to be this close to something I couldn't have. It was just me dancing with a man that could keep up. I was moving my feet, swinging my hair and twirling my hips to the sultry beats of the drums and he was right there with me.

Eric anticipated my every step as if we'd practiced the routine every day since forever. His hands trailed the curve of my calf as he dipped me and his eyes held mine captive while his hair blotted out the rest of the world. There was nothing else to see, to touch; nothing to experience in this world but him. Then applause sounded and the spell broke. He righted me but didn't let me go.

"Will you stay with them or come home with me tonight?" he asked.

I looked at him and everything I felt registered in full. The last thing I needed was to be alone with Eric. I would make a total fool of myself.

I shook my head. "They said I owed them a night."

"That you do."

He smiled but it was that cheeky smirk. We both knew he had done something he shouldn't have and he wasn't sorry because he knew he would get away with it. Reaching up he unwound my hair much like he'd done last night.

"This is good night then."

I nodded. "Yeah. Good night."

He walked back to the place where he'd been with the other Ravens. They continued their revelry but left a while later. It was a good thing, great really. I wouldn't have to deal with feeling self-conscious. Eric's absence helped tamp down my suddenly rampant sexual desires. The only thing that I should care about was getting home, not getting closer to him.

At the end of the night, I was back up in the same room I had started the night in. Vesper had left because she wasn't a day walker. I was lying on a chaise lounge. Calisto was lying on the sofa with her head in Merida's lap. My first slumber party and I couldn't enjoy it. They were talking and laughing about the nights events and I joined in halfheartedly. I found my fingers gliding over my lips thinking of what I'd passed up in not going home with Eric.

I wished it was just a kiss my body wanted. The proof was in the heat in my veins. I would have let him do anything he wanted to me. It would have dulled the ache between my legs. It was pathetic really. Barely two days in his company and I was panting after him knowing full well that I wasn't first choice but his last hope. My head knew it but my body didn't care.

Waking up the next day was disorienting but nothing like the first, mostly because it was much later in the day. Secondly I had a headache that had nothing to do with telepathy and everything to do with drinking too much the night before. I blinked my eyes open just as Ayame was slipping out of the room.

"Hey," I said.

"Forgive me," she said. "I did not mean to wake you."

I rubbed my eyes and looked around. Everyone else was gone. "No, you didn't. Are you about to go to work?"

She nodded. "I am late but I will wait if you still wish to join me."

"That's alright. Can I meet you there?"

Ayame beamed me a smile and rushed out of the room. I didn't hear a single foot step but I heard the door shut seconds later. There was a basket of toiletries in the bathroom and it provided me with everything I needed. I didn't have my own clothes but there were plenty of loaners to choose from. There was a plate with breads and fruit as well a jar of jam on the table. I had a quick bite, glad the monster breakfast of my first morning in the Wild wasn't a habit.

I headed out alone for the first time. I didn't know why but I expected someone to stop me and flag me as an intruder. I was acting all kinds of shady walking too swiftly for casual. I felt like I stuck out. Nothing of the sort happened. People passed at different paces going on about their business. Those I made eye contact with smiled and waved. Some touched me in some way as a token of affection. I returned the gesture and kept on walking.

Finally I made it to the Atrium and all but sprinted to the Den. The circular doors were forged from something that looked like steel but it couldn't be. I touched it and yanked my hand back. The thing felt like Jell-O. Intricate markings were etched deep into the arches of the door way. It pretty much screamed magical portal.

"Hello there," A dark haired woman greeted.

Feeling like a kid who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar I pulled it away from the door.

"Hi,"

I wanted to state my business because I didn't know if I was supposed to be checked in or what. I stood there unsure. Someone laced their fingers with mine and urged me forward. I looked to my left and found Pamela. She was one of the Elite Dozen, the delicate looking one. Much like the first time I'd met her, she was in a frilly and lace dress. This one was lavender.

"Why are you lurking about like thief in the night?" She asked.

"I don't know the rules or what to do."

"Do not skulk about like some hood I think is the only rule."

I smiled I gave her was meant to be funny but I was met with her blank stare.

Alrighty then.

I kept the smile plastered on my face as she led us inside. Unlike most people I had met so far, I didn't find her presence calming. She greeted the woman oddly, tucking her hair behind her ear. There was none of the warmth that I felt as Eric had greeted others the same way. She struck me as a doll, a broken doll.

I followed her as she led the way into the Healing Center. It was very quiet. The sole person there was a pixie haired woman. She perked up even before we got close to her desk.

"Is she ill?" she asked a little too eagerly for my liking. "A headache, menstrual cramping and bloating, or perhaps upset stomach and vertigo maybe? It is very common for humans"

Her hazel eyes were hopeful.

Of all the things being in The Wild had done to me, thankfully I was exempt from all that. "…Ah no. I'm fine."

"Oh."

Obviously being a vampire doctor was very boring.

"That was Amelia," Pamela said as we passed. "A talented witch and our junior healer."

"You can be a vampire and a witch?" I asked.

She nodded. "Aoki is part Daemon. I am half Angel and both of us are half human which allowed for us to be Changed into a vampire. Whatever you were before the change, it doesn't fade. It actually grows stronger."

"Hmm," was all I could say to that.

Surprisingly day two in The Wild left me unable to be knocked on my ass. Hell, I could walk in on the tooth Fairy humping Santa Clause and not be phased.

Pamela led us past the last bed in the room where there was another arched gated way with markings. It led into a passage at the end of that were two flights of stairs leading down. Pamela was silent and I got nervous so naturally, I began yammering away.

"So what's it like being a Raven Elite?" I blurted out. "Sorry that's probably a personal question, isn't it?"

I looked at her but her expression gave me nothing. I decided that I wasn't done embarrassing myself, so I went right on talking.

"It's probably personal like asking your age or something…I'm rambling please just ignore me."

She didn't.

"In regards to your second question, I am one thousand three hundred and ten years old, including my human years. I am the youngest of the Elite. As for the first, I cannot give you an actual answer. I can only tell you what it feels like and I do not think I have the words to explain but I know that you do not have the heart to hear."

There was something in her voice that made me risk a glance at her. The cool veneer was gone and her eye told me she had known pain intimately, so intimately that she could never leave. I shut my mouth and the rest of the journey was made in silence.

When Eric had said it was underground I thought the Den was like a basement or even two stories below ground. What he failed to mention was that it was an underground castle. There wasn't a single tunnel or cavern. Nothing told me that I was underground, save the lack of sky and sun above. It was like someone had built a castle for a fairy princess and then inserted it neatly underground.

The grand pillars and rails twinkled as if painted in diamonds, except diamonds didn't glow like fluorescent bulbs. It added another magical aspect to the castle making it that much more stunning to behold. The crystals were everywhere, sometimes expertly placed to light paths, but I could see where they grew wild from the ground and from the ceiling. In some places they scaled the sides' walls like vines of the most beautiful flowers.

"Ayame is that way." she pointed to the left. "I must be going now."

I walked in the direction Pamela had pointed me in. It took me around the front of the castle to the side. I touched the walls wondering what they were made of. It wasn't the same marble as the houses used. Even the bricks gave off a subtle effervescent shimmer, as if diamonds had been crushed into every stone that built the castle.

Amazing.

I wanted to explore but by the size of this place it would be easy to get lost. Instead, I followed the hall to the left and ran into a sight for sore eyes. My treacherous cat. She was strutting around like she owned the place. I couldn't blame her for ditching me for a bunch of kids that fed her off their plate and probably went nuts over her.

"Some adventure, huh?" I said picking her up.

"Sookie,"

I turned and saw Ayame waving at me.

I followed her into what looked like a ballroom. The double doors looked grand and like the two other doorways up above, these too bore the intricate markings. Ayame opened both doors effortlessly and we entered the dim room.

Ayame went around opening curtains and calling out what sounded like a wakeup calls in several different languages. Little Canopy beds lined the walls and ornate hand carved bureaus separated them. It left plenty of open space in the middle. It was like a vast dormitory hall, except it was for little vampires.

We were joined by a man. Neither he nor Ayame asked me to help but standing around awkwardly wasn't why I had sought out the Den today. I jumped right in. For the next two hours I helped wake, groom, dress and wrangle over a dozen children between the ages of four and seven year olds.

It was like working at Merlotte's on Super bowl Sunday. They were W.I.L.D, not to be confused for misbehaved. They were spirited, unrestricted and uninhibited. I recognized Knox and Marisol. I was popular even more so because both children vouched for me. I was also a new face and I smelled nice, I was told so repeatedly by the little scamps. Before it could make me uncomfortable they spotted Tina and I was forgotten.

When Ayame led them to breakfast, I hung back with the other man whose name was, Augustus. We made the beds, gathered discarded pajamas and tooth brushes. I wasn't complaining but I was curious about something.

"How come they aren't learning to do this for themselves?"

"They are very little." He answered seemingly baffled by the question.

"I know. I was just curious is all."

Each child spoke at least two languages, some more.

"They're all so smart and they can learn. Why aren't they being taught?"

He kind of sniffed at me. As if that reaffirmed something for him—that I was human no doubt— he nodded in understanding.

"You were learning such menial tasks at their age, yes?"

I nodded. I might have done a piss poor job but my mom wasn't going to do it for me. When it came to Gran, I couldn't get away with half assing anything.

"It is not the same for our young. Every sight, every sound, every errant scent is stimuli that is hardwired to power that is far beyond the little ones ability to control. At this age, instinct drives them and if they come under duress, it can rule them completely. That would be very, very dangerous." He told me.

"Here in the Den, everything is dimmed down to levels they can comprehend. They are trained to control their fangs. They learn to hone instinct and build camaraderie. The first Blood Law is all they are responsible for learning until they are ten years of age."

Learning not to accidentally kill people was a helluva of a lot more important than making their bed. I also made a mental note to ask Ayame about the Blood Laws later. The only one I knew was the one that had brought me here.

By the time we caught up with Ayame, the children had eaten breakfast and were being escorted up a hall. I sat in on a class and it was the most boring thing I'd seen so far, so naturally I loved it. Lunch came and I helped serve my group of kids.

It was then that I saw the bags of blood. They were beside normal looking lunches. There were too many of them to count. Some of the older kids already had their long glistening fangs sinking into the bags. I knew what they were. Faced with the glaring proof, my mind rebelled.

I had to get out of there. I mumble an excuse to step out of the room. Once in the hall, I beat feet in the opposite direction. It didn't matter where I ended up so long as it was away from blood. I was so panicked that I wasn't paying attention and I crashed right into someone.


	17. Chapter 17

It was Eric.

"What's the matter?" he asked as he steadied me.

It was another vampire. I had to break free but he smelled so good and his arms were tight and warm around me, not restraining but comforting. Without my permission my body leaned into his instead of away.

"Blood…" I croaked.

I didn't see us move nor did my feet touch the ground but when I blinked I was in another room very far from the dining room.

Eric sat me down and was crouched in front of me with my face in his hands. "I don't understand. There is no blood except…I see."

I nodded miserably. I was also embarrassed that I'd been so thoroughly freaked out over something that shouldn't have been a shock to me. Vampires drinking blood was as natural as a fish in water. It was one thing to know it. Clearly seeing it was another matter entirely.

"No one was harmed to collect it if that holds consequence." He said.

It helped a lot but not enough.

"I saw fangs. I just thought I was about to be bitten."

"You have teeth. You could bite me here and now if you were so inclined."

"It's not funny." I muttered.

He moved from my front to sit beside me, I guessed that he did that to hide the fact that he was still very much amused by my cowardice.

"I am sorry that you were frightened." He told me.

I wasn't the only one that was left unable to tell a convincing lie. I could still practically hear the smile in his voice.

"Liar, you're laughing at me."

"Not at you, more like I am laughing with you before you realize this is funny."

I elbowed him in the ribs for the smart ass reply, which made him laughed out right. I was starting to see how he and Thalia got along so well.

"It was only amusing to me because you were in no danger."

"I know." I admitted. "It just wasn't something that I had expecting to see. It made me think of—"

I couldn't even bring myself to say her name. Days ago everything had made sense. Now, it was all so messed up! I wanted a vampire and I couldn't have a vampire. Vampires were good but there were vampires that were bad. They had had killed Maudette. Eric took my hand and his touch kept the gory details of that murder from taking over in full. He didn't say anything and the silence wasn't helping.

"Where do you get the blood?" I asked.

It wasn't the fact that it was in bags that told me people didn't die. No, it was because without knowing, I'd put such a thing beneath Eric and Wildlings in general. I was confident of it though I had no proof to be.

"The same way we get everything else. We pay humans in the city for their donations. We take what isn't approved for human use."

"You're immortal so it doesn't bother you."

"There is no such thing as immortal." Eric replied.

He softly toyed with my knuckles as he spoke. I tried so hard to listen to him but that static charge that seemed to always be there broke through any lingering memories of fear. All that was felt was him and he felt good.

"Vampires like humans can be killed. We simply have…"

"A longer expiration date?" I offered.

He snorted a laugh and nodded. His smile stole my breath away. Suddenly, I was all too aware that we were in an overstuffed love seat in what was dimly lit entertainment room. His leg was pressed against mine and the heat coming off him seemed to sear the blood in my veins. Suddenly his hand was there on my knee and all I could do was watch him helplessly as he watched me.

"I make you nervous but not afraid." He said leaning closer. "I do not believe you are afraid of me, are you?"

No, I wasn't but the words wouldn't escape. He continued to watch me as if studying me. I couldn't find the strength or will to move because the desire to do so wasn't there. As if testing his theory he dragged the tips of his fingers up my thighs. I moaned. His eyes darkened and my body responded, my skin seeming to get too tight and too hot.

I ran my tongue over my suddenly dry lips and he followed the motion. My body was gone then as was all manner of rational thought. Before I could blink he had my back pressed against the arm of the sofa with his trapping mine. I didn't get a chance to be startled.

I felt like a damned gazelle staring down a lion except I didn't want to run. I wasn't afraid. I was…hot and bothered so much that I was damned near panting. No, I wanted to get naked with the lion and let him put his mouth on me even if it meant taking a bite. I wanted so many things I never thought I could have.

"I love the way you smell." He said.

The look on his face suggested that he was savoring it. I knew I was done for in that moment because vampire though he was, I knew he wasn't talking about tasting my blood. I've read my share of romance novels being a lonely single woman. Nothing could compare to his illicit words. His tone like his eyes spoke of decadence, indulgence and sin, like eating chocolate covered strawberries while having the most intense orgasm or your life. God help me, I wouldn't survive.

Eric's word's brought images to my mind that I couldn't deny, fantasies I never knew could be a reality. With his words they took root in my mind and refused to let go. Shakespeare could take a long walk off a short pier. Eric's words were poetry of the most erotic sort and if he uttered another word, I would…I didn't know what but it would change me of that I was sure.

He was watching for a reaction and I didn't know what he sought. I couldn't think I could barely breathe. I was too mesmerized by his beauty, the intensity of his gaze and the pulsing between my legs. What did he see? Did I look as starved for touch as I felt? Would he satisfy the craving? I shouldn't want him to but God help me I'd never wanted anything more. The need was an ache between my thighs, my sex was weeping for him.

Eric's hand was on my face, his thumb stroking my bottom lip and it parted for him, waiting for a part of him to enter. It could be his finger, his lips, his tongue or even his cock. I wouldn't have cared. His scent made my head spin and he was so close. I was aching for a taste.

"I am going to kiss you now."

It wasn't a request. He offered no defense or further warning. His lips replaced his thumb where it had been caressing my lip. At first contact I knew I was done for. The touch of our lips was electric and I short circuited entirely. None of the reasons why I shouldn't could be heard. It was because I was somewhere else that was beyond this world.

Eric wasn't a vampire and I wasn't a human. We weren't in the Wild. It was grittier than that. The hunger unfurling in me was raw. He was male and I was female. Simply put, he had what I needed. I was a fire and he was fuel. I kissed him back. When his tongue teased the seam of my lips looking for entry, I opened for him.

It was then that the last bit of common sense I had melted under his heady scent taking over and his soft lips against mine. I didn't know when my arms wrapped around Eric's neck that I had become the aggressor but it was against a predator of Apex predators. Eric leaned against me and I welcomed his weight, I was eager to carry it.

His hands trailed my thigh making me wetter and more desperate for him. I didn't protest once his hands grabbed my waist and wondered. Instead I thrust my breasts up for his attention. Anything he did had to be better than this ache that was spreading all throughout my body. All I knew was that I wanted more of this, more of him, more of us. Of course that was when we were interrupted. He may have heard the patter of feet but I heard the thoughts.

"If you do not feel you can continue here, we can go home."

Why did that sound like a promise of sex? Maybe because it was, if I left here with him, he would lead us back to his house. I couldn't think of anything that I would deny him. Odds were I would capitulate and I would regret it. There would be nothing to blame but my weak will and riotous sex drive against an ancient vampire.

The door burst open. Earie was first and his brown eyes that were so like his mother, Calisto were ecstatic. He tackled Eric. The other kids followed and I wasn't left from the dog pile. Ayame was shooting me a knowing grin from the doorway. My face heated. Nothing was private when there were creatures with super senses around I supposed.

"Are you here to work?" Tanari asked Eric.

"Nan." he replied. "I am on the boats today."

There was a groan of disappointment.

"Then you will be in the Den again." Finnegan, a sandy haired cherub looking boy said.

All day I had been fighting the urge to pinch his cheeks and hug him to pieces.

Eric shook his head, garnering another collective groan from the children.

"I will be away."

"Where will you be going?" Naga asked.

His question hadn't been in English and I couldn't even guess at the language but I saw the query in his mind. I also saw that when Eric was on Den duty he stayed with them even after the sun went down, playing in their games. He didn't report them for flashing fang if they got mad, or telling their mothers if they had been difficult during the day.

Plus with Eric, they had access to his flying rides even when they should be asleep. The woman in me melted to see a man that was go great with kids. Then the reality set in. I shouldn't be swooning over that or anything else I learned about Eric. In fact I would be the one taking him away.

"Beyond the Wildlands," Eric replied. "I will be roaming."

All their little faces were filled with wonder, awe and apprehension. I guess to them the outer Wild might as well be Mars. I expected Eric to explain but he didn't. He wanted to reassure them. No one else asked questions not that he gave them a chance. He distracted them by promising to bring back all kinds of things. Once the children were satisfied he left to return to the boats.

I stayed.

By late afternoon more blood was served to the younger children. I braced myself for fear but it didn't come. I realized it wasn't so much fear of being bitten or eaten, but the images of Maudette that had sent me running. On my way home I stopped by the market. In part I was stalling but it was necessary.

I wanted to cook diner. So far Eric had done it exceptionally and without complaint. I wanted to impress him with my cooking. I went through the trouble only to eat alone. After his heated kiss and caress, I had been expecting, wanting more intimacy but my husband was nowhere to be found. What had I done wrong? I had no idea because I couldn't read him.

I had gotten through about half my paltry meal when I got a visitor. Ayame walked through the door with a basket of delicious smelling treats. I felt like the calories had entered by body through scent alone. That was how good it smelled.

"I am headed for the Atrium."

"Thanks but I'm tired." I lied.

Really, I just wanted to sit here and sulk about what a horrible kisser I was. Ayame left and I went back inside. It was weird that the silence here bothered me more than the silence back home. Maybe it was because I could hear The Wild coming fully back to life and I didn't feel like I could be a part of it. It wasn't because I thought I wouldn't be welcomed but because I felt unwanted by the one person I wanted to want me.

When Vesper and Merida came to the door, I was getting ready for bed. With them was a tall bronze skinned man that had to be Thalia's husband. I guessed that because Vesper had his height and complexion. He was the epitome of ancient Egyptian beauty. I wouldn't call what he wore a skirt, exactly more like a silky white Kilt with a heavily woven gold belt. His hair was a black curtain on both sides of his face…and was that gold body glitter? As exotic, beautiful and regal as he appeared, he looked as if he would rather have hot pokers shoved under his finger nails than to be standing at the door.

"Sookie," Vesper greeted. "We are going to eat at the Atrium."

"Yeah…I know. Ayame told me but I wanted a quiet night in, thank you."

My reply was firm but polite. I smiled to lessen the rejection and it wasn't feigned. I really felt bad that I wasn't in the mood. Vesper on the other hand winced as if that was the worst thing I could have said. They argued in the foreign tongue and I tried to find an exit but then the man began gesturing to me. It got more confusing when he came to stand beside me and took my hand. I was so not going to like this.

"I am going with her." He said in crisp clear English.

It also sounded very final and that snapped me out of it.

"Wait, what now?" I sputtered.

"That is good. Marisol is refusing to return to the Den so I have to be with her." Merida said

She nodded at me patted this other man's arm, and then she hurried away, probably to find the child in question.

Vesper spoke. "Dida, I think we should all go to the—"

The man waved his hand and shot her an expression of a parent whose child was testing their patience. Vesper fell silent immediately. From the corner of her eyes she shot me apologetic look that told me I was on my own. Yup, I liked this a lot less than I thought I would. On the other hand you had to respect his honesty. This fellow was dressed up to have a pity party and he made no bones about it either.

"We want to be left alone, Vesper." He told her. "The Elite live for a chance to sacrifice their lives. We have to live with that truth and love them in spite of it and not resent those who love them because of it. No amount of noise or merriment will drown our fear. Every time their duty calls them from the safety of home there is always a chance that they will never return."

She hung her head.

Argument won, he kissed her head and nuzzled her cheek. Then he backed into the house pulling me with him.

"Come along Cookie."

"It's Sookie." I corrected.

I didn't even think he heard as he closed the door in Vesper's face.


	18. Chapter 18

I was alone with a strange man. Now, if I were anywhere else in the world, this would spell trouble or at least some serious awkwardness. Here, in The Wild, I was worried for him. He walked into the sitting room, took a seat on the sofa. Once there he began the best impersonation of a statue I'd ever seen. I brought him a bowl of the boxed jambalaya rice I made for dinner. An hour later, he and the bowl were exactly where I'd left them. I didn't know what else to do.

"My name is Sookie." I said by way of introduction.

"Jorah." he replied with a nod.

Then he went back to staring off into the distance.

"I'm sure they'll be alright, wherever they are." I said hoping to reassure him. "They are Ravens, The Elite."

"Once I thought so, I thought my wife infallible because she is Elite. Then one day, she returns to me in Eric arms with a silver dagger in her heart and her throat slit to the bone."

I didn't think he meant to scare me but he did. The picture his words painted infected my mind like poison. Suddenly I couldn't stomach anymore of my paltry meal. God, I was so selfish. I hadn't for one second thought Eric was off fighting or that he could be in danger. I'd been consumed with petty thoughts of my short comings as a kisser. I sat down beside him. The sudden worry over Eric made my stomach flip. There was nothing to worry about. They were the Raven Elite. I wanted to believe that but his words…

"Where did they go?" I asked "How long are they often gone?"

What I really wanted to know was when no new became horrible news.

"This is the second in mere days, so it is hard to say. There has been an increase in Turned Ones running amok. There have also been sightings of the McLaren brothers."

"Who are they?"

"Malcolm and Ian McLaren, no one knows from under what stone they slithered out from or who turned them but they are the oldest of The Turned Ones. They call themselves 'Saviors of the Grateful Undead'. What they are is pure evil. Their presence means that the Coven Wars are coming to a head once again."

"Still?" I whispered.

"It never stops. It just cycles. Now, the peaceable purebred Covens that are not aligned with the more extreme and older houses are making Turned Ones for protection. The Changeling Houses are doing the same. The wise ones from both sects are going into hiding. They know that once the McLarens show their face, she is never far behind. That is when the blood bath begins."

I was gripping the arm of the sofa. "Who?"

"Freyda, The Pure White Queen, she is The Lord Raven's elder sister."

Holy. Shit.

My mouth hung open for long that Jorah tapped my jaw to shut it for me. Even that didn't end my shock. I sat there stunned into silence.

I'd wanted to know Eric's age to satisfy my curiosity but I'd never thought about how much pain he must have endured in all that time. I knew that his mother had killed herself but I didn't know why. I knew it would be painful a thing to ask especially because those her last thoughts were memories that turned into scars that he would forever carry.

Still I couldn't fathom that Eric had a sister that struck so much fear into the hearts of an entire species. How could I? It was true that he had said that like all the other original settlers of the Wild, he had come from Hell. What could have made his sister so evil yet left him untainted? I didn't know. The fear that I might not ever get to ask him struck me so very deeply.

"They went after them?" I wondered.

He shook his head. His expression was a mixture of disgust, misery and relief.

"No. The McLarens steer clear of Wildling territory. In fact they keep other Turned Ones away from our lands to keep Raven's out of the fight."

"The Ravens can stop them but they don't." I asked confused.

Jorah gave me a look that questioned my intelligence. Then as if remembering I was human he sighed, understanding washing all the other emotions away. I didn't know his age but he looked so very old and so very tired and anxious.

"From within The Wildlands, to the ends of all the worlds; always and forever more, Wildlings are forbidden to make war. War is forbidden unless it is waged upon us. Anything else, violates the fifth Blood Law. The offender will be Wildling no more."

The ridiculous nature of my question became glaringly obvious after that. I didn't just want to end the Coven Wars. I wanted every vampire to live the way Wildlings lived because it was so peaceful. In reality, I was asking for so much more. I wanted the Ravens to exterminate all The Turned Ones across the world and to forcibly prevent the creation of more. That wasn't all. I was also asking that they enforce peace and police future crimes of the remaining sects of vampire in the world. I wanted that because I wanted them to share their peace and prosperity.

"So if they didn't leave to fight The McLarens did they go to hunt Freyda?"

More than anything I just wanted to know. So desperately I wanted to have some idea of where Eric was and if he was okay.

"They do not have to hunt her. There is nothing that bitch wants more than to destroy the Wild Lands but she is not strong enough to attack it head on."

"Then how can she hurt us?"

"Hate. She preaches that Purebred night children are the only ones that should exist. Being from the oldest and most powerful Covens, she garners followers. They flock to her and The Wild is everything they detest. Our peace and prosperity is an affront to everything their power is built upon."

Freyda and other's like her would destroy The Wild. I just couldn't understand it. How could anyone want to destroy a place like this? It made me sick. I tried to detach myself because this wasn't my home. It wasn't my fight.

No matter how many times I told myself that, I couldn't help worrying about Eric. I knew what it was like to go back to the noise after quiet, the noise was always louder. Eric was probably drowning in thoughts and I couldn't help him. He was gone beyond where I could shield him. He would be distracted. He could get hurt.

The sun rose. I watched it in fascination as the light of crystals and shadows of the night faded. It was such a symbol of hope but as I looked out into the early morning I didn't know what to think. Eric and the others still hadn't returned.

"Maybe sitting here like this isn't for the best?" I suggested. "We should go do something else, anything else really."

"I have neither will nor desire for much else. I want Thalia to come home."

It was so honest and so sad. I didn't know where Eric had gone and I didn't know for how long he would be gone. Sitting here in silent misery with this made it feel like he would never come back. The sheer amount of fear that that thought brought on was too much. Plus, I had lost a full night's sleep.

Eric was out there with his mind laid bare to the thoughts around him. Lucky was probably worried sick about his daughter. Every Elite that I had been introduced to had to have some kind of hang up. They dealt with it because they were strong. I had to believe that while Eric needed me, he had already survived for so long without me. I couldn't do this to myself.I couldn't just sit here and wallow the day away.

"I thought you weren't talking to her."

He sighed. "I cannot ignore her if she is not here."

I laughed. For a second Jorah didn't look as miserable.

"Look, this is who they are. This is what they do. Tell me that you don't think they are the best at it."

He frowned but he nodded. "Yes."

That was that.

There might not be a coffee maker but the coffee I'd brought was good stuff. I brewed it in a pot and it gave me enough energy to go on about the morning as if everything was normal. I made breakfast and Jorah only ate enough to keep up enough energy to be miserable or so I thought. We stopped by his house and he changed clothes.

"Where to?" I asked with false cheer.

He shrugged. "I care not."

Just a pocket of sunshine, this guy.

In the end I decided to head for the Justice Hall. Now was as a good time as any to get a look at all the things I didn't get to see my first night there. The library was there as well. I could maybe get my hands on some books. While there I made a great show of needing to go to the market. I didn't need much. I walked up and down every aisle just to buy more tomatoes for a salad later.

As I shopped, I asked Jorah questions hoping he would fall into the role of a guide. No such luck. Every now and again I was able to pull words out of him but other than sighing despondently at everything he passed, he didn't say much. He was so bad that when we arrived at the Justice Hall, I was actually happy to run into the severe looking Lord Draco.

"Good day, Lady Raven." He greeted with a deep nod of his head.

"Hi," I greeted. "We were hoping to get a tour and maybe go to the library after."

"Both of you?" Draco clarified.

"I do not want to be here." Jorah said and boy oh boy did he look it.

"You said you didn't care." I reminded him.

I hooked my arm through his in case he thought about running away. Then I turned to Darco.

"We decided that it's better than sitting home waiting and worrying."

I plastered a smile on my face. Draco looked doubtful but nodded in understanding. Jorah sighed but when I began following Draco he came along, albeit I had to to drag him a little. It had begun as a means to distract myself from worry but the tour was amazing. There was so much to see.

From pottery to paintings to historical accounts and relics, it was as if all the people that had come into the Wild had brought a piece of their life before. It was all stored there. Some of them had come from long lost civilizations that I knew that humans didn't even know had ever existed.

Draco might look mean but he was one hell of a tour guide. He translated at least twenty languages as we passed items on display. He wasn't the curator but he knew just about everything about anything. Two hours later there and we had only covered the vaulted and enchanted items which were stored on the bottom floor.

"Forgive me, I am needed elsewhere." Draco told us.

I was genuinely disappointed. Jorah looked like he was a breath from gnawing off his own arm to escape both of us. I supposed to him this was boring. To me, it was beyond fascinating.

"Thank you for showing me around."

"It was a true pleasure." He said with another deep nod.

I returned it. Jorah sighed. We both ignored him.

I took some books from the library. They were mostly history books about the Wildlands and about the vampire species as a whole. I also took a book detailing the thirteen Blood Laws. On impulse, I snagged an encyclopedia on other inhuman inhabitants of this world. Who knew when I might need that? Today, I was dealing with vampires, tomorrow it could be zombies.

I found that Jorah was more easily distracted when we were talking about his family. I found that in addition to Vesper, he had twin sons, Horus and Sirus. They were Ravens that were currently stationed in the Outer Wild. The elder of the two, Horus was Den Master. I wasn't sure what irritated him more, that his sons had taken after their mother in their career choice or that mirrored her perfectly in their behavior.

That led to me telling Jorah about my first interaction with his wife. He wasn't the least bit surprised that it involved me throwing things at me. He told me the ornery love story of him and Thalia. It made me laugh and made me wonder. From the stories, I realized just how different they were, yet they had been married for two thousand years.

"She Changed me without my consent or knowledge."

"You can do that!"

He nodded. "She snuck her blood into everything I ate every day for three years. The day my Change set, I thought I was going mad and there she was. She told me what she had done. Needless to say, I was greatly displeased. I did not speak to her for almost a century." He said with a soft laugh. "It tormented her to no end."

"That's one heck of a grudge."

"It was terrible for me to have everything taken away without notice or permission."

Yeah, I had been there, I still was actually and I told him so. I told him about how I came to marry Eric. He had been on the outs with Thalia so he hadn't been home since before that. I felt like he understood even though he didn't know the details about why Eric chose me.

Jorah had been the pharaoh's favorite nephew when he had been human. Thalia had stolen from him a place in history. In terms of loss, he had lost more but he didn't think so at least not anymore.

"Thalia saw nothing wrong with what she had done because in her heart she knew that there was nothing that she would not do for me." Jorah explained. "There was and still is something incredibly seductive about Lila's persistence. It was immensely difficult to resist the allure of someone that I knew desired me, only me and nothing else in order to be happy."

Oh.

That was intense and kind of scary. I didn't agree with what he was saying but I didn't argue that point. We were deciding on what to eat when Jorah went perfectly still, I actually saw his ears twitch. He seemed to let out a breath that I didn't think even he knew he was holding. I didn't have to ask, not that he gave me the chance. Jorah, who had moved like a miserable sloth all day, vanished out of the house.

No sooner had I had the thought, did he appear in the door way, Eric. It had just been twenty four hours since I saw him and even that felt like forever because I'd worried. My reactions were relief, desire and anger. Relief because he was alright, desire because he ruled my body and anger because he had left without a word.

Now that I thought about it, if not for Jorah I might have been left wondering where he was. I remained seated where I was, not sure if I wanted to kiss him or kill him. Deciding it was best; I focused on the task at hand, slicing carrots. That was until Eric shut the door behind him as he entered the house. It was so weird how a closed door now seemed so weird to me. I was glad of it at the same time.

Even in this state something told me that Eric would answer if duty called. That was one reason. The other reason I was glad was that I wanted him to myself even though I had no idea what to do with all that vampire. I was left trying to sort through the mine field where Eric was concerned.

"You look like shit." I commented.

His lips curved forming a smile that made my heart throb. Beguiling as he was, I felt like he was holding onto his calm by the skin of his teeth but still, he was holding onto it. The worse hadn't happened but he still looked so worn. The relief of seeing him eased something in me.

"I am very tired." He said.

No, duh?

"Sleep with me?" he asked.

To be honest I was tired too. It was the middle of the day and my upbringing despaired. That wasn't the only reason that I should say, 'no'. Getting into bed with him was a bad idea because I wanted him. His need for me was obvious. I sensed desperation in him; it was greater and more glaring than the day we'd met. That was why I agreed. It was that and I'd worried about him and how he had faired away from my mental shields.

Eric wasn't the same as he had been the last time we were together. He was like a man on a ledge wanting to jump, not because he wanted to but because he thought he couldn't turn back. I held my hand out to him. Unsure as I was, my fingers should be trembling but they weren't. They were steady.

I wanted to be his anchor. Not even after he clasped on with enough force to cut off my circulation did I regret wanting to be that crucial thing for him. My thumb rubbed soothing circles on the back of his hand as he kept a firm hold mine. It didn't matter that he had vanished on me without as much as a note. I found myself easily able to let it go because he needed me. I was the only person that could help him, more than anything I wanted to. Eric led the way upstairs. His footfalls were heavy, as if his legs wanted each previous step to be the last.

"Are you okay?" I asked in the bedroom.

He paused so long that I thought that it may be the first time he'd been asked the question. I hurt for him and admired him all the more. He was a telepath without a shield. It made me feel like a selfish coward but I couldn't imagine the amount of altruism and internal fortitude it took to willingly subject myself to mental torment for the people around me. I didn't think I could do it.

He nodded absently. "I need to sleep."

I was going to ask him something but then he took his shirt off and I couldn't think. When his pants followed I forgot that I should be trying to remember anything at all. Naked, he was completely naked. My body reacted and my brain short circuited.

Do not look down, you depraved skank. Sookie, don't you dare.

This wasn't about sex. I scolded myself. I only had to look at his face…sure he looked more delicious than a warm cinnamon roll iced with chocolate. So what if I wanted to lick him up and down. My body got miles ahead of me but then the dark circles under his eyes brought worry to the surface anew. I pulled the sheets back and he got under and I followed.

"Take your clothes off too." He said. "I need to feel your skin on mine."

My kneejerk reaction was to refuse but I didn't have the words. Despite never having disrobed in front of anyone in my adult life I complied. My hands didn't even shake as I reached down toward the hem of my dress and I pulled it over my head. His eyes were heavily lidded and his lips were slightly parted as I got under the sheets with him in nothing but panties and a bra. It wasn't lust. No doubt he was just tired.

Once under the covers with me Eric's hand sought mine and I gave it willingly. The rest of him followed. Then I was drowning in vampire. Not as bad as I would have feared, in fact it was nice to be nestled against a rock hard male…before I could get carried away; he was dead to the world. After a sleepless night and overactive day, sleep came to me the instant I closed my eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

When I woke up it was almost dark out. I'd slept the rest of the day away. It explained why I was ravenous. Beside me, Eric was still sleeping peacefully. I could see the difference that sleep had made. The dark circles around his eyes were almost gone. That sallow undertones to his skin that I had barely noticed were fading.

I enjoyed the salad from lunch. After cleaning up I headed back upstairs to grab a sweater. It might be springtime here but it wasn't the sweltering Louisiana spring I was used to. The nights felt chilly to me. I'd only meant to grab my sweater and leave but once in the room, I saw Eric tossing and turning on the bed.

Truthfully, he looked nothing like the vampire I was getting acquainted with. Having only known him for a few days, the difference was stark raving and glaring. He looked like a shackled animal being tortured and his beautiful face was contorted, his teeth gritted as if against the urge to scream. I did the worst possible thing. Forgetting that he was a sleep walker, I shook him awake. He went suddenly and eerily still. His eyes snapped open. His head swiveled my way and before I got a chance to form another thought his hand was around my neck.

Not good. This was so not good.

At some point during his short journey he had shifted from his naked self to full warrior regalia and I had no idea how. He was that figure I'd seen in the rain. His uniform was similar to Lucky's in design but Eric's was all black like the darkest night. It was complete with a golden visor that obscure his face leaving nothing but his fierce lightening blue eyes. The red in his armor seemed to the threaded like bloody veins in between the ridges of the scaled fabric. The hilts of two sabers were clearly visible from behind his back. Needless to say I've never been this scared in my whole life. When I got scared, I babbled.

"Hey…you." I said. "How was your nap? Not long enough I bet, huh?"

Please don't be my murderer. I silently begged.

He growled but that flatness in his eyes was there in his voice too despite the malice to them. A set of wicked fangs dripped from his head. Oh wow, as if I wasn't terrified enough. Think Sookie, think. It was hard. I didn't know this assassin. There was no doubt in my mind that was what he now was.

His fangs were like daggers waiting to rip my throat open. His free hand was on the hilt of the sword at his back, because he needed to kill me harder. You know, in the event strangling me wouldn't be enough. That scared me but what drove me was the fact that I knew he wouldn't survive it, losing me before he learned what he needed. Telepathic wives weren't exactly a dime a dozen.

I had no hope of breaking the hold he had on me. I couldn't think past it. All the while he was talking and it sounded like nonsenses in a multitude of languages. I recognized them for they were the thoughts of others. Endless thoughts flooded his mind and spilled from his lips. I knew he was trying to fight it, trying to clutch at his own train of thought but he couldn't. He wasn't full awake. My heart broke for him. My worst nightmare was his reality. It had been his reality for thousands of years and it was destroying him.

I caressed the back of his gloved hand to get his attention. I was amazed as the fabric, receded until it hit the braided bracelet on his wrist. It was the same one that he given to Lucky as the key. I was still confused but if there was ever a time not to ask questions it was now. His brows furrowed. His hold didn't lighten but it didn't constrict further thankfully. His face was a mask of death that I was sure so many never lived to tell of but I saw into his eyes, so tormented and so confused.

"You gave me a necklace when we got married and I gave you earrings, remember?"

"Yes. I gave you my mother's necklace." he agreed but he didn't let me go. "I had to be pierced the night we wed to wear your earrings."

I was contemplating what to say next when his eyes wondered and I knew another wave of errant thoughts would sweep him away. I could see that he was in there fighting to come back. I just needed to help him.

"Look at me." I called. It took effort but he did. "I am the only one that can make it go away, remember."

My words brought some flicker of recognition to his face. It wasn't much but it gave me hope. It was true that Eric should have given me more detail about his mental state. I should have asked what danger he might pose. That wasn't why I was upset. No, what cut deeper were the consequences he would face. If he killed me in this state, it would destroy him, his friends and his people. He would also snuff out any chance he had to save himself. I cared more about that than I did about myself. Despite his hand being around my neck, I still couldn't drum up an ounce of regret or anger at him.

"I'm sorry." I began. "I shouldn't have left you. It must have been Hell on you to go back to the noise after the quiet."

"Yes…she wasn't there…I couldn't find her. I don't know where she is. Maybe she was never real. I don't know. I don't know anymore."

His eyes flittered away from my face as if he was seeing things that I couldn't. I knew that he was. I was losing him to the endless streams of consciousness of those around us. They were hurting him.

"I'm right here, Eric." I said.

I thought it as loud as I could. It wasn't like I had words. I was running out of oxygen at an alarming fucking rate. The silence of my mind seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks. It penetrated the daze. When he came back the first emotion on his face was confusion. Eric's confusion was followed by sheer horror.

If he had made any kind of noise, it would have made it less horrible. I still held his gaze so I saw, what it did to him to hurt me. He released me. I fell to the floor wheezing for breath. He continued to back away; one shaky step at a time with his hands shaking with a force that wasn't far from violence.

"It's okay." I gasped. "I'm okay."

Eric didn't say a single thing. I looked up and found myself alone in the room. By the time I got it together enough to venture down stairs, Eric wasn't the only vampire in the house. When I ventured downstairs, Thalia and Jorah were there too.

"After hunts, they like to eat together." Jorah greeted with a smile and great big hug. "Merida has already begun cooking."

He was almost unrecognizable seeing as he wasn't miserable. He threw an arm around me and herded me through the door. He was a regular 'Chatty Patty'. While he talked I kept sneaking glances behind us, where Thalia and Eric were trailing behind us. Was I the only one that saw something wrong with that picture? They weren't talking and Thalia wasn't laughing or making bad jokes that were someone else's expense.

I wondered what Eric was thinking feeling or doing. It became clear once we settled in for supper at Lucky and Merida's. He was keeping his distance. It never occurred to me that every time he had been around me, he was almost always close enough to touch. Now, he wasn't. It was odd but I'd spent the first two days since meeting him either wanting to breathe in his air and/or averting my eyes so he couldn't see everything he was doing to me. I didn't think about how much not having his scent close to me would bother me.

Dinner at Lucky's was similar to my first breakfast here in the Wild. The Elite were present. They were all talking and laughing. Eric was too but I felt like not a single smile reached his eyes. I asked myself why I was so consumed with his avoidance. Why was I the one feeling bad? I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't even angry about what happened and he was treating me like it was my fault.

At that point I was starting to get pretty annoyed with him, so I stopped looking. I found myself alone watching the sunset on the front porch. I needed to escape the noise inside and it had nothing to do with feeling like a freak or feeling unwanted and unwelcomed. I was just tied in knots and I hated it.

"You look like you're liable to go kicking people." Lucky said blocking my view.

"Are you volunteering for target practice?"

He chuckled.

"You so much as walk past me at too brisk a pace and my Marisol will have words with you." He said. "They will not be gentle, I assure you."

I laughed despite my foul mood.

"It's just too crowded in there for me." I lied.

"Walk with me." He said, rising to his feet. "I am going to collect her."

I went with him because I didn't want to return inside just so Eric could ignore me. Lucky and I walked arm in arm in comfortable silence. As we walked Eric was on my mine. I found that I was shortening my gait. My next footfall could place me beyond Eric's range and I didn't want that, no matter how angry I was at him.

"Eric was wounded. It may account for his mood if you are wondering." Lucky said.

"What? How?"

"Honestly, cannot say for I do not know." Lucky said. "Tensions between the two Covens that occupy New Hampshire erupted. We went to observe. We always observe conflicts that are close to home. One moment Eric and Thalia were at the rear, acting as sentry. Next, the scent of his blood was everywhere. When we got there Thalia was digging silver shrapnel out of his chest."

"What happened?"

I knew the danger had passed. Eric had returned and none of the damage had been visible. Still fear was thick in my voice. This had been what I had been afraid of, what I had forced myself not to think of. It had been real.

"He stepped on a trap of the most basic sort. I have fought beside Eric for thousands of years, not once has he ever been wounded. There is something off about him. There has been for some time now. It is more obvious on days like today when Thalia is staying so close to him and she is not drinking."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I wondered.

He shrugged. "Eric gravitates to her. Arguably she is the only one that is as old as he. I think of all of us he doesn't fear tainting her with the details of the horrors he sees in the minds of others. I do not think that that is what troubles him at the moment."

Lucky turned and faced me. The intensity of his gaze was deeper than twin lasers.

"Do you know what is wrong with him?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yes."

"That none of us know means that he does not wish us to but can we help him?"

I shook my head.

"I can though and I will. He will get better."

There was no question and or suspension. He sighed, clearly relieved.

"I can see that you're a stubborn shite much like him. I think that might be exactly what he needs. I think Eric has forgotten that he deserves the same happiness that he made possible for hundreds of thousands. He sees himself as nothing but the sword and shield of these lands. He has reduced his existence to duty and his oath. Even if you have to beat it into him, remind him that he is not solely, The Lord Raven. He is Wildling too."

"I will but you know he's pretty old. I bet he forgets all kinds of stuff. How old is he exactly again?"

Lucky snorted derisively. "Lassie, you are fishing in a dry well. Not even I know how old he is."

Damn!

After he picked up Marisol from Knoxs' grandparents, Lucky and I parted ways. I was thinking through everything he had told me. What worried me most was that Eric had been wounded. After something like that, the worst possible thing I could have done was exactly what I had did. The way he had looked on the bed…pure terror.

I couldn't imagine the darkness that shrouded his nightmares. It had been deep enough that it blocked him from finding the silence of my mind. It had been painful enough to make him think it had never been. My heart broke for him. Eric had to be in ten different kinds of pain but I could only help with one.

I found my way back to Lucky's house but it had emptied. The Elite were gone. Merida said that Eric had gone off towards the forest. There was only one place that he could be especially given the mood that he had to be in. I wasn't exactly sure how to get to there but I decided to test my knowledge of the land. I got turned around but I was able to ask directions and sure enough he was there. I felt him even before I saw his shadow perched way up high in that tree. If he could see or sense my presence he didn't show it.

"The least you could do is come down and walk me home on account of me not being able to fly and all." I said.

He appeared soundlessly in the night. I saw his shadow and the outline but not much else. He was also not close enough to touch. I walked and he followed me like a silent shadow. Even after we got into the house he gave me a wide berth. Not even my first night here had felt this awkward.

When I got into bed Eric hung back. He had every intention of leaving me here just so he could continue to beat himself up over something he couldn't control. If I was tired after a night of sleeplessness then I knew he had to be after a night of chasing monsters beyond where I could shield him. Eric was a giver, he gave all of himself but he really didn't know how to take anything for himself no matter how much he needed it. He would suffer it alone and that was his norm.

"It's okay." I said.

"I cannot see how." Eric replied wrapping his arms around himself.

"You got hurt. It probably brought up all kinds of things and I shook you awake while you were having a nightmare. That's all it was, okay."

"You do not understand. Nothing like this has ever happened. Normally—"

"Thalia is with you." I finished for him.

"Her mind is familiar to me even in that state. She is strong enough to contain me although I have never been aggressive. That I would start now, with you…"

It was as if words failed him.

"Eric, you need to sleep, not doing so won't help anything. You're under stress and probably feel about as bad you look."

My attempt at humor went unnoticed.

"Finding you gave me hope but I have to contemplate the possibility that I might be too far gone."

Was he for real?

"You're writing yourself off as a lost cause but I'd like to remind you that it's only been three days. Can I suggest that you take a chill pill and cut yourself some slack?" I snapped.

I've never known anyone that carried the weight of the world on their shoulders but Eric was cutting it pretty dang close. It was clear that my euphemisms had done nothing but confuse him. It was enough to make me laugh. Colloquial speech really was vampire kryptonite and Eric wasn't exempt it seemed.

"What I mean is that you wouldn't judge anyone else this harshly especially over over something that they couldn't control." I said. "Why don't you deserve the same understanding, compassion and forgiveness?"

"I would have violated the same laws I'd sworn to uphold. That is why. I could have murdered my wife. That is why."

"Why didn't you then?" I challenged, annoyed. "Realistically, you could have killed me about a hundred times before I ever saw you move. What stopped you?"

He didn't have an answer. I didn't think he could see that deeply into himself but I had. I had come face to face with a part of himself that I don't think even he knew.

"That's not who you are Eric, no matter what state of mind you are in. It's not who you are. I know that and if you don't then maybe you're not as smart as I think." I told him.

He frowned at me but said nothing.

"I'm not going to lie. I have no idea what it feels like to be out of my body and not have control over my actions, not even by proxy. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now but I do know that if it was me, if I was standing right where you are, I would want someone to hold my hand."

I held my hand out to him. Eric glanced down at it but I knew he wouldn't take the chance.

"I have to go."

"You can't leave me to sleep alone. I'll get scared."

"Liar,"

Yes. dI was indeed lying through my teeth but I would like to see him prove it.

"I haven't slept alone since coming here." I reminded him and that was the truth. "I slept with you, then the other women and then stayed awake all night with Jorah."

I could see that he was wavering. I kicked the sheets back, intent on getting out of bed. He came to bed but I knew that he wouldn't stay. He was close but his skin wasn't touching mine. He didn't trust himself.

"I am sorry. I would never raise my hand to you in anger. I—"

"If I didn't already know that, I wouldn't be here."

That seemed to reassure him somewhat. We sat in silence for a while and I was trying to think of way to make him stay.

"I want to try something."

"What?"

"None of your business," I replied.

I saw a ghost of a sliver of a smile light his eyes. It spurned me on. I held my hand out to him and he took it despite the clear apprehension I could see on his face. I didn't even know if what I was trying would work but it became clear the moment it did. Eric had been seated on the bed with his back to the headboard and one foot on the floor. The tension that I had felt emanating from him vanished entirely. He let out a deep groan that ended with a soft purr.

"What are doing?" He all but moaned.

"I'm thinking out loud." I replied. "Singing really but I'm doing it at a volume beyond yelling, it is pushing my mental signature outward so when you get it, it's deafening. Does that make sense?"

"Mmm-hmm. I can feel you inside my head everywhere…like a cloud…I can't get out to read any thoughts." His voice sounded thick, dreamy.

"Is it taxing for you for you to do this for me?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No."

If I were home, it would be different. This would grueling. My own shields were down and my mind was completely open. Seeing as there was nothing but vampires around, I didn't hear a single thought. In fact the void minds helped me fuel the silence that I was passing on to Eric.

I was yet to get through the ballad in my head when Eric fell asleep. As, I'd done earlier, I watched him as he slept. I should be afraid, any sane person should be but I couldn't drum up the emotion. I wasn't brave. I was stupid.

"Damn you, vampire." I murmured running my fingers through his hair as I held him close. "What the hell am I going to do with you?"

He gave me no answer and I had none of my own.


	20. Chapter 20

It was morning, just after sunrise. If I was back home, I would have rolled over and tried to force myself to get back to sleep or to get ahead on some chores. I wasn't home though. There was no greater proof of that truth than the solid wall of man that was holding me tight.

Eric looked good. Yes, he was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen but that wasn't what hit me in this moment. He looked well. Even in the dim lighting I could see it. There wasn't a single sign of fatigue or mental strain. He looked, peaceful and serene much like any another man enjoying much needed sleep. When I thought of how much he had gone through and was still struggling with, I couldn't help but admire him even more. I knew myself to know that I didn't have the mental fortitude to survive what he had.

"I can feel your eyes on me." He said.

He had spoken but his breathing hadn't changed. His eyes hadn't fluttered. I flushed right down to my toes. Quickly, I averted my gaze and tried to pull away but he held me fast, bringing me closer.

"Your eyes will always be welcomed upon me as is your touch." He said looking at me.

Temptation, I felt it and it stirred my desire. The way he looked at me now was much like the first time he kissed me. The thought had been far from my mind given the events that followed. Now just the memory suffused heat into my veins. Reflexively, I licked my lips as my nerves took over. My heart was beating so loud that I was sure that he heard it, close as we were. With speed and grace that I was now used to, Eric was instantly over me, trapping me under him. Our bodies were aligned and my hips cradled him as if it was made for his powerful thighs.

The view from my angle was what dreams were made of, hot, erotic dreams. Heaven knows I've had a few and they couldn't compare with the way he faced me now. The way he looked at me poured fuel on the flames. I should push him off me. Maybe I should even punch him. He'd been gone without a word and he thinks...my thoughts scattered like feathers in the wind when he kissed me.

I knew how good it could be but it still shocked my senses and rocked my world. I honestly didn't know what took over me. He might have just wanted a kiss but I wanted more, so much more. I deepened our kiss, pulling him closer as I did so. His body was pressed against mine and I thrilled in bearing the brunt of his weight.

My fingers traced him all over, holding him close and learning every hard ridge, wanting to caress every inch. I felt it as his erection grew. My hips rolled against the thick hard length, as it twitched between my legs in demand. I should feel some fear at the sheer size of his cock. There should be some apprehension and there was, but not enough to make me not want to stop.

I was caught between trying to figure out how to get in his pants without letting go. Just having it so close wretched my need up, wetness flooded my core. I was desperately tugging at his pants trying to free him. Eric paused for a beat, watching me, giving me a chance to change my mind.

"I want to." I said.

He pulled my hands away, and pinned them above my head but kept his body cradled between my thighs. I felt like I was falling, his eyes had me mesmerized. He was like a fantasy that I never even dared to have. His eyes were darker, hooded. While I was in a rush he seemed to want to savor every moment, and it was the sweetest of torments.

He held me with one hand and the other roamed down the side of my body, caressing the side of my breasts, past my ribs and down to my thighs, tormenting me as he did so. When his hands finally reached my sex, he let his finger pet me through the barrier of my panties. He kissed his way to my waistline, he kissed his way back up and he pulled my panties down. He was just as slow and deliberate when he removed my shirt. I was naked and the urge to cover up didn't come, not with the way he was looking at me.

I enjoyed the burn of his pace. My body undulated trying to scant inches between us. When he finally cupped my breasts I moaned. When he rolled the hardened buds between his fingers I nearly swallowed my tongue. His hands parted my folds and my breath caught. By his almost pain filled groan, he felt just how wet I was, just how desperately I ached for him.

"Perfect," he whispered, running his finger lightly over my left breast making my nipples pucker even more. "You are so perfect." Then he brought his mouth to it, so hot, so talented and it felt oh so good.

With his eyes holding mine, I felt him fingers caress at the apex of my sex. He played all the right cords, the ones that made me wetter and more wanton. By the time his fingers parted my folds, I was at his mercy, and I was so needy I would have begged. I wanted so badly to move against his fingers but he kept me still, torturing me and watching the look on my face.

"I want to see." He said.

 _"Ok…okay."_ I moaned.

All I could do was try to breathe so I could hold on. My head was thrown back and my eyes were closed but he refused to let me tune out even a single moment. He stopped and nuzzled my neck until I was looking at him once more. He worked his fingers in and out of me faster as his lips moved lower. I watched him and I knew his intent. He watched me with such voraciousness that fear nagged at me. It didn't get a chance to take root. He dipped his head to kiss the inside of one thigh and then the other. His lips were on my sex. First he kissed it almost chastely, then his tongue followed all the while his fingers continued to work their magic.

"Again, I—"

My only response was a breathless moan. It was mind numbing bliss. I was gone, totally lost to his ministrations. His other hand found its way to my breasts, squeezing and plucking at my nipples to add to my pleasure. I was riding his face and he hummed his approval. Before long, I felt it, something so delightful began to fill my ever nerve with so much force that it made my whole body shake and shiver in anticipation.

It was a strange sensation because I was trying to both mitigate the force of my orgasm and rush it. All my efforts were futile. It was like trying to contain lightening in a glass jar. When it hit me it took my entire world with it. My body shattered apart into a million sensitive pieces. When it was over, Eric was looming over me, a sexy smirk on his face. I wanted him to ask me to let him take me. This felt too good. I'd gone this far. I wanted the entire experience.

"Incredible," he said dipping his head lower.

He gave me kiss that singed me right down to my toes. I tasted my juices on his tongue and there was something about it that made me wetter, it was as though tasting my pleasure on his lips made him mine. I felt sexy, desirable and so fucking horny. I didn't wait for him to ask. I wanted to feel more of him. I wanted his nakedness against mine. I didn't have the patience or skill to be smooth about it. I reached inside the band of his pants and he did the rest.

He felt like steel covered in silk, with the wetness of his own excitement wetting the tip of him. I'd never held a man in my hand like this. Intrigued, I stroked and he groaned and descended on me like a ravenous beast, a beast whose hunger I longed to feed. Unlike his earlier tasting of my body this was less controlled. It should have frightened the virgin mortal that I was, but I wanted this too much, having hungered for it for far too long.

"I want that…" he moaned.

His words were like an aphrodisiac, urging me to give him more. I was drunk on the feel of it and I stroked him harder and faster. My hand stroked the length of his magnificent cock, over the bulbous head and down the shaft to the wide base. He was huge and I felt fear at having it inside me but there was so much needy anticipation that the fear was easily forgotten. I cupped and squeezed the sacs underneath.

He cursed and his thighs bunched and quivered. "Close…" His words were rough and guttural.

I was too far removed from reason. I'd been thrown head long into pleasure that I hadn't had the creativity to imagine and I wanted more. I stopped stroking him.

"In me," I begged. "I want you inside me."

I wasn't the only one that was shocked by my words. Eric's eyes darkened in response and my ache increased. I needed him in me like I needed my next breath. I simply had to have it. Just as I could give him a quiet oasis, I felt like only he could give me this experience.

"Yes," Eric said.

He moved my hand and I felt him pushing at my entrance. He pushed in and it was pleasurable but pain came. I knew the first time hurt but I didn't know it would be like this. He pushed past my barrier and I cried out. It was sharp, stinging and jarring. A part of me was hoping Eric wouldn't notice the way I'd tensed. I knew he did because he stopped which was the last thing I wanted.

"You've never…"

I shook my head. He tried to pull away but I didn't let him.

"Don't stop," I begged.

"I'm hurting you." And I felt him start to pull out.

That was when I let my tears fall. I didn't want them to but I couldn't help it. I'd wanted this experience so bad. Then I allow it happen and I started clamming up. It was beyond disappointing not to mention humiliating. The pain would be for nothing if he stopped. He wiped my tears away and sprinkled kisses over the trail they'd made.

"I can heal you…if you permit."

That was the only thing I wanted. I didn't care how he went about it. At least I thought I didn't but then I saw him put two fingers into his mouth and when he brought them to mine I saw the droplets of blood. I hesitated. How bad did I want this? Bad enough. I opened my mouth unsure of what I was expecting but not caring as long as he gave into me… us.

Eric's fingers were still in my mouth but his lips followed and suddenly my whole body tingled with a lighting fast blast of everything that I didn't know I felt. Lust that I knew was mine seemed to multiply faster than I could handle. It set my whole body ablaze. He was still inside me but not by much. He fondled my breasts, massaging the generous mounds, plucking and tweaking the hardened tips. He riled me up with his lips, his tongue, his finger and the entire length of that lean hard body of his. His hands touched me all over, seeming to luxuriate in every inch of skin, from my too plump ass to my less than flat stomach. He seemed to crave all of it.

He pushed into me again; I felt pressure but no searing pain and I was grateful. Every nerve in my body sang to life at the pleasure of it. Inch by inch, he buried himself in me to the hilt. I reveled in it. It felt so good, I felt so full, so claimed, that I began to move without waiting for him.

 _"Ugh…fuck!"_ I cried gripping the sheets.

He reached down and rubbed that sweet bundle of nerves and I was really done for. Every touch was divine. My sex was pulling him deeper into my depths and he continued to invade me at a slow and decadent pace until he was buried in deep. He hadn't even begun to move yet but I was quivering with the need to have him ride me hard and take me until there was nothing left.

 _"Oh God…"_

I was already so close and the force of it was literally breath taking.

"Hurting?" he asked.

I shook my head because I was beyond sense. It was as if that was all he had been waiting for. He retreated and surged back into me harder this time. The tension that had been building in the core of my sex skyrocketed. He stroked deeper and I felt the dam break. I fell headlong into another orgasm. I rode it even as it threatened to rip me apart.

He came too. I felt as he gushed inside me I felt his body shudder and heard him grunt but he didn't stop. He simple moved inside me until he was rock hard again. He held me fast and was thorough in his conquest. I didn't want Eric to think he was hurting me. He would stop if he heard me scream and really that was the most painful thing I could think of but I couldn't hold it in anymore. He held my face in his hands and before I worried that he would stop, he smiled. It was wicked and sensual.

"I want to see how much of me you can take." Eric said, looking down at me.

His eyes ran down from my face to my sex where we were coupled. He was on his knees; his hands were hooked around my thighs keeping them splayed for him. He arched my hips up and rolled his as he hit home a little harder. He was in me so deep and the tip of him was against that secret place that I'd never know existed until now, until him. He repeated the motion, rolling his hips and delving into me until there were no more secrets. I was lost to the sensation, a slave to it. Each climax was harder than the last. He came too and every time I felt him spray his seed in me it always set off another orgasm which only riled him further, as far as vicious cycles went this was divine.

This was everything I thought it would be but soon it got to be too good too fast all over again. I dug my nails into him and nipped at him which really seemed to flic his bic. My body was in chaos. I had no control, as my legs quivered, my toes curled and my pussy throbbed from his attentions. I was still getting fucked so good that nothing else mattered.

Eric whispered erotic promises as he continued his claiming. Every time he made me cum he held my face in his hands. He seemed awed by the look of ecstasy. It exposed my every secret thought and desire. I was utterly and truly bare. Every time he made me scream, come, and moan I begged for more, he didn't slow and I loved it. He was using less restraint, fucking me harder, gripping my body with less care. Never had I ever felt anything close to this. Nothing I had felt of lust or sex by proxy could compare.

He was everywhere, taking over my senses. His lips kissed mine, blurring in my mind. His body rode mine, his hand stroked me everywhere, from my lips to my toes, touches were feather light and others demanding. He turned every inch of me into an erogenous zone so much so that having his fingers run through my hair made me moan. Pleasure, I was delirious and damned near insane with it.

I came around enough to see the tips of fangs. Again the logical reaction should be fear, especially because I'd seen them bared in anger. He could rip my throat out or worse. There was something worse; not letting him have his way with me entirely.

"I want you to." I said meeting the pumps of his hips with mine.

Eric brought his body down on me. We were chest to chest; face to face. I was looking into his stormy blue eyes that hungered for me. All the while he was thrusting with greater insistence. There was nothing civil about the way he rutted against me. His pelvic bone was rubbing against me just right as rocked against me. I knew we were both detonated to blow.

 _"There…Eric."_ I moaned. _"Don't stop…I'm—"_

Eric's body rode mine harder. He buried his length fully with every thrust. He was just big enough. He was just thick enough. He filled me up. He was in me so deep that I didn't know where he ended and I began.

I felt his breath on my neck and shivered almost violently in sweet anticipation. He kissed the pulse point and that did it. My fingers fisted in his hair, holding him to me. The world could fall apart and he was my only anchor. This time it was more than that. I felt the graze of his fangs but no pain; instead heat and pressure seemed to travel from my neck to my core.

 _"Ohmigod, Eric! Ahh!"_ I screamed.

The orgasm that had been hovering over me like a vicious tide transformed into a thundering storm. I felt it in every nerve as it racked my body ricocheting through every cell. With a groan, I felt him surge deep with his head thrown back as he finished. I clung to him at the same time I wanted to push him away as the world was broken and reduced to nothing but a quivering mess. Eric was too much. He was passion so hot it burned but with his blood in my veins I felt even hotter.

I'd barely caught my breath and he had left and returned with a cloth. I laid there as he cleaned my body. His hands began to roam my body and I could see that he was hard again.

"Can you go again?" he asked with his eyes fixed on my lips.

Not only could I, I wanted to. I pulled him back on top of me. I didn't understand it. It could be the blood that he shared. I didn't know. All that mattered was that he didn't stop. Eric made me do things, raunchy forbidden things and I was happy to do them. I didn't care.

Every time he touched me, every thrust felt better than the last. I was so hungry for him that I didn't care. He rode me so hard my body shook. He fucked me so hard but with his blood in my system it only made me want more of this; more of him and more of us.


	21. Chapter 21

I must have dozed off. When I woke I was alone in bed. Eric was gone and I had no idea if he had gone off to fight monsters or if he was just on duty somewhere else in the Inner Wild. I waited but he didn't come back and I didn't plan on spending the entire day guessing. Already I could feel anxiety rising to the forefront.

It was strange. I wasn't sore even though I had had marathon sex with a vampire hours ago. My hand traced the curve of my neck. I had let him bite me and there was no evidence of that either. The only proof of the memories in my head was the sheets. They had been thoroughly mussed. I busied myself tidying up. All the while I was wondering if I would get another visit from Jorah or if I would find Eric.

It was starting to think I would end up eating alone when Eric walked in through the kitchen door, closing it behind him, effectively keeping out visitors. Much like yesterday when he had returned, I felt relief but I was plenty pissed. He, however was oblivious. He smiled at me and set the basket of fresh fruits, jellies and cheeses on the table.

"We can go out for more if you are hungry after but this was fastest." He said. "I got it from our neighbor Kano."

I nodded but said nothing. I went to the drawer that held the coffee and put the kettle on. He talked to me and I think it was because he was a telepath that it took him so long to realize that I was ignoring him. He had no idea that he had done anything wrong. It was reassuring to realize that he was worse than I was at reading body language. That realization kind of took the steam out of indignation that had seemed so righteous moments ago.

"I just thought I'd be eating with Jorah again." I said when he asked if I wanted something else for breakfast.

"We can if you wish."

Yeah…he was so clueless and it irritated me further. It made me feel like I was asking for something that was unreasonable, I wasn't. It had nothing to do with emotional attachments. We had a deal. When he vanished it didn't exactly instill confidence.

"Forget it." I replied.

It was then that he actually stopped prepping the meal and looked at me.

"You are angry with me, I think." He said stating the obvious with a frown. He titled his head to the side as if looking at me from a different angle would allow him to read my mind. "Why is this?"

"You took off without a note this morning much like the other day. If not for Jorah, I wouldn't had a clue, where you'd gone or why."

"Forgive me," he said.

Suddenly he was in my space and I could see the sincerity in his deep blue eyes.

"I did not—"

"Think of me?" I finished for him.

He nodded. "Yes. The Elite were summoned. I always head any and all excursions that aren't routine supply runs. Everyone knows this. I have never had worry of one person missing me when I am gone."

He cradled my face in his hands and it was just impossible to dig up any of my anger.

"I was remiss to forget you. It will not happen again. Do not be angry with me anymore, please."

"I'm not angry." I spat.

Okay, I was a little annoyed but it wasn't for the right reason. I sort of expected to fight with him. His sincerity and apology had robbed me of my righteousness. I had to let it go and I didn't want to, at least not so easily. Eric arched a brow and it was clear that he was calling bullshit. I jabbed him in the side and he smiled.

"I get it. It's weird to suddenly have someone that you have to check in with." I said.

He nodded as he placed my fruit bowl in front of me with a kiss on my head.

"Truthfully, I am more accustomed to hearing my name being called mentally. That you couldn't didn't occur to me as I left this morning."

"You mean to tell me everyone here knows what you are?" I asked incredulously.

It wasn't that I didn't believe him when he'd told me people knew what he was. After coming here with him and seeing that this hidden world of his was filled with so many vampires, I had made assumptions. I assumed that it was his closest friends that knew at the very most I thought all the Ravens were in on his secret.

He did that half nod and half shake that I had first seen with Lucky. Paired with Eric's hand gesture and expression it definitely meant, 'Kinda sorta but not really'

"For those old enough, it is fact. They had to lay their minds open to me in order to gain entrance when our borders were opened to all. For many, especially those born here, it is a tall tale. Mothers have been using my gift to make their children behave for as long as I can remember."

"Seriously?" I asked with an incredulous laugh.

That sounded so wonderfully absurd to. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to have everyone know my deepest secret, and then instead of rejection, I got acceptance.

"Entirely." Eric said with a chuckle. "'The Lord Raven will know if you do not eat your food'." He mimicked in a high pitched nagging tone. "They outgrow that fear and at some point they test it. Thalia and I enjoy toying with them."

I laughed and he smiled up at me. It was impossible for me to fathom that I had been angry, furious with him moments ago. This felt like it had my first morning here except talking to him was so much easier. It felt oddly pleasant to talk so openly about something that was so secret with someone that I knew understood.

"Do you want to hear something strange?" He asked me.

Was there something stranger than me being married? Yes, yes, there was. I was married to a vampire who was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. What was stranger yet, he was my very first Lover. Even more peculiar than that wasn't the fact that he was a vampire but that he was a telepath like me. Needless to say, I just couldn't resist temptation. I had to know.

"Shoot." I said.

Before he had to ask, I explained the metaphor.

"Your mind has a kind of flavor to it, something more than the quiet."

With that he had lost me and it must have shown on my face.

"It is silent not like a statue as I first said. Your scent, the timbre of your voice, the feel of your skin, and even the way you look, it is all there. It translates mentally, infusing your essence into the silence. It makes it more profound."

I was intrigued. "How can you feel that and still not hear anything?"

He shrugged and shook his head at the same time. Right, we were both wading blindly.

"Do all vampire minds sound the same to you?" he asked.

"Yes. You sound like a humming blank space to me."

He made a noise of interest but said nothing else. He seemed thoughtful. I focused on my food for something to do. His words had nothing to do with the physical but his description brought to mind every way he had invaded my senses earlier.

"You probably have to get to work." I said.

"Raven's that have been dispatched for duty are granted leave upon their return home." He said.

There was really no place for the conversation to go. I didn't know what I was supposed to do or say now. We weren't talking about telepathy. I wasn't angry so there was nothing to serve as a barrier against everything he did to me.

"I might head to the Den. What are you going to do today?" I asked, sipping my water.

"You."

I almost choked on my drink. It went flying out of my mouth as I coughed trying to clear my throat. Eric was kneeling in front of me with his shirt in hand. He was patting my back as he dabbed at the water on my face. He was also laughing at me. I smacked him the moment I stopped sputtering.

"Does it embarrass you that I desire you?" He asked his smile still on full display. "It should not."

"It…doesn't." I lied, feeling heat rise all the way to my hair follicles.

The truth was that his words did embarrass me. They did a whole lot. Considering all the things we'd done last night, it shouldn't. He had done wonderful things to my body that I had no reference for. It had been sublime but I was still new to it. I certainly wasn't ready to talk about it in the light of day.

He continued to clean the mess I'd made. He was dabbing the side of my neck and down my chest. The peasant style dress I was wearing was hanging off my shoulders; it left the expanse of my chest bare. I was focused on just trying to breathe. It wasn't easy. I should have had enough of him but when it came to this vampire, too much wouldn't ever be enough.

When I finally risked a glance at him, Eric was staring at me. I knew what he wanted. It was sex and by the hunger that bled from his eyes, he wanted it badly. I've had men look at me and want me. Others had leered but no one had ever looked at me the way Eric did. No one had ever made me want so much so voraciously.

"You are beautiful." He said.

He had dropped his shirt to the floor. One of his hands was on my waist, roaming up to the tie of my dress. The other skimmed my body, traveling up my legs, in a touch so light that it was barely there. The only proof was the violent reaction rioting all throughout my body. I knew he could hear the ragged rhythm of my heart.

I could barely think past it or the wetness flooding my core. The entire time he never took his eyes off mine as he riled me with the barest caresses. It was as if he was recording my every tremble, and my every breath, using it to wind my body ever tighter. His hands skimmed over my knees but not between them. My legs were closed and it wasn't out of protest. I had just forgotten how to do much of anything at this point.

"I want you." Eric said, resting his forehead against mine.

My legs parted for him as he claimed my lips in a kiss that stole my breath. At least I had been right about one thing. When it came to Eric too much wouldn't ever be enough. If anyone had asked me I would have thought I minded being bent over the kitchen table. I was fine with it, more than fine really. It felt incredible. It was a different kind of pleasure, raw and rough. There was nothing to hide my screams when he wrung them out of me. I didn't have to worry that he would stop. If there was anything he knew; it was that I could take him and more than anything I wanted to.

"I should feed you." Eric murmured nuzzling the crook of my neck.

He was seated in the chair I had occupied during breakfast. I was seated in his lap. He was as naked as the day he was born but not me. I had sandals on my feet.

"I would also like to get out of the house at some point." I added.

Eric laughed and for no other reason than he was happy, someone I knew at this time yesterday was anything but, I couldn't help but smile too. I lifted my head from his chest and looked at him, being careful to take inventory. He looked nothing like the man I'd met. It wasn't just physical because all the physical signs of his sleeplessness were gone.

It was more. The ease and calm that he had exuded rolled off of him in waves. I could see more of him. I had experienced his passion and I had shared pleasure with him but there was even more. There was something playful and mischievous about those deep seated blue eyes. His smile was confident and happy. I knew it was because he no longer had to struggle. He no longer had to struggle because he had me. He looked so fucking happy that I had to kiss him. It was just supposed to be a peck but he deepened it and I felt his cock stirring as his lips traced my face.

"What would you like to do?" he asked.

"Something that I've never done before."

He was busy kissing a trail down the valley of my breasts so I felt his smile more than saw it.

"That disqualifies me."

"At least ten times over."

We left the house after the eleventh time. Eric sniffed out a good place to eat. It wasn't a restaurant. Rather it was the home of another Wildling a few rows down. Their door was open and we just walked in, with nothing to announce our presence but a friendly greeting. The couple was more than ecstatic to have us join them. They didn't speak English, so Eric had to translate but the food was too good for me to care about making conversation. I just watched.

By the time we left it was dark and the Wild was coming to life again. Eric had his arm around me as we walked back towards the center of the city. His touch, one that had made me so nervous mere days ago was comforting now. The tension and the struggle not to give in was over. Yet somehow that inexplicable spark that always seemed to crackle when he was close was still there. His touch still sent a thrill through me, especially now that I had experienced it so intimately.

He was quiet but the silence was comfortable. Some people waved as we walked past, others that were walking past us made physical contact. It was just a pat on the arm or leaning in so their shoulders brushed us. The contact was easy, brief and didn't at all intrude on the quiet I was sharing with Eric.

The closer we got to the Atrium the louder it became. I knew the second the Den let out. I felt the burst of thoughts as the children were released from their underground protections. They made a 'Bee' line for Eric. A few minutes later, he was under siege by little baby vamps. He made a great show of it, too falling down and pretending to fend them off as they piled on top. I hung back and watched.

I now realized how wrong I was to ever think that Knox was his son. Eric treated all of them the same. He had the same patience, caring and affection. He greeted them all and spent time asking what they had done during the day. After flying all of them around a few times they were finally happy to go on their way.

We walked down to the Atrium and people were gathering. "There is supposed to be a show." He said as we found seats up front. "Normally, I avoid them because of the crowds but we can watch together."

"Sounds good."

The show was better than good. It was spectacular. It was over and I still couldn't believe what I'd seen. It was somewhat refreshing that my shock had nothing to do with me being a human in a land full of vampires. It was the show itself I had been expecting something small scale but it had been such an extravagant production.

Despite not understanding a single word, I was captivated by it all; the dazzling costumes, the vibrant scenery and the flawless choreography and the singing and the orchestra. I have never seen anything like it in my life and I honestly felt like I never would. Eric and I were walking home. I didn't know how long I'd been rambling about the performance but when I looked up, he was staring at me a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What?" I asked.

He smiled and shook his head. "Nothing. Please go on, you were talking about Rava, she was the singer in the green dress."

"Um…calling her a 'Singer' is the understatement of the year. She's got killer pipes on her."

Eric looked at me and I looked at him. Then we both burst out laughing. I was laughing at myself for forgetting that while we had experienced something new together, he was still a vampire, a very old one at that. I knew that he had no idea what I meant and he knew that I knew it too.

"I know that it must mean something good but I cannot imagine how." He said.

I really needed to stop using modern day idioms around ancient vampires. We continued walking and talking. I just assumed we were going home but we ended up at Jorah and Thalia's. Jorah was happy to see me and Thalia wagged her eyebrows at me with a grin. I flushed and ran off to help Jorah finish preparing food.

By the time we actually sat down to the "Predawn Dinner" as they called it, there were about twenty people in the house. They were arranged on chairs and tables and counter tops. Others even sat comfortably on the floor. Some were Raven Elites, others were not but every one brought something to add to the meal that we all enjoyed. I managed to join the conversation and even found myself sharing more than a few laughs with Jorah. He was funny in a dry, sarcastic, unapologetic 'fuck off-fuck that-fuck you' kind of way.

Needless to say, I liked Jorah. I liked him a whole bunch. Unlike his spouse and mine, his humor didn't hinge on my discomfort. I also loved that Thalia was on her best behavior when he was in the room, as if I needed any more reason to like him. Eating with so many people in such a close space felt easier than I ever thought possible, especially because they were strangers, even the one I felt kindred to. That was the only thing that felt odd about it.

It didn't matter that I was in a room full of vampires. The atmosphere was friendlier than anything I'd ever experienced since the birth of my telepathy. Every now and then I would look up at Eric, our eyes would meet. He smiled and my stomach would flutter and my heart would skip a beat. The potency of that hadn't at all waned. It was stronger.

When Eric and I finally made it back home, I ended my day the same way it had begun.


	22. Chapter 22

I woke to Eric's fingers playing in my hair. I groaned but didn't pull away from his touch.

"You have permission but you can't get participation." I said with a yawn. "I'm dead tired."

He laughed and instead of feeling the noise, I heard it. It forced me to risk a glance up. Eric wasn't in bed with me as was common for every other morning since he'd been back. He was seated beside me on the bed fully dressed.

"I must go to join Pythia and Draco. We will be meeting with the families of those who passed through the trials. It is an all-day affair. Thereafter we will have the ceremony."

When the graduating class left, we would leave with them. I don't know why it shocked me. He had explained this to me, yet it hit like a ton of bricks.

Wildlings vampires that wanted to leave the inner Wild had to be at least seventy-five years old, which by their standards; it was the minimal age of consent. They had to pass trials that tested their ability to control everything about their nature that could make them hazardous to humans. It didn't sound like much to me, especially given their age but Eric had told me that it was grueling.

"The hardest thing is the need for blood." He had explained. "They are deprived of it for a week. During that time they are strategically placed in situations that frustrate and infuriate them. At the end of the week they are given a bag of blood and are allowed a single mouthful every hour. This latest class had twenty. Amongst that number half was from the class before. Yet only a total of six made it through."

He had told me that on my first day here as he showed me the city. Today was my la day. After the show at the Atrium, everyday had been different and filled with unforgettable memories. Eric had taken me out on a boat. Then we had spent the day at the beach. It hadn't mattered that I didn't know how to swim.

I had gotten into the water while Eric showed off his ability to move like a shark underwater. The day after that we had wondered through the forest that bordered the city. Yesterday Eric had flown me to what had to be most beautiful place in The Wild if not the world. Only those who could fly could get that far out. It was also at the very edge of the Wild. So, close that when I squinted my eyes, I could see the effervescent shimmer in the sky that separated the Wild from the rest of the world.

We had spent all day there and when the sun had gone down I watched it from the best seat in the house, his arms. There was so much that I hadn't done before coming here. To cram so much into just a few days was mind blowing. It felt like I blinked and now my week in the Wildlands was done. I was going home.

I smiled up at him and nodded. "I'll meet you there at sundown?"

He nodded and for a second I thought he was going to say something else but he kissed my head and left.

I packed and I found that I now had more things than I had come here with. From the books I had borrowed to several outfits that I had gotten from the market. I cleaned the house. Afterward I went to return the books though I hadn't gotten a chance to read them but I was told I could keep them as long as I wanted. I decided to keep them. Eric could bring them with him when he returned.

I went out in search of Tina. Despite not seeing much of her in days, I knew exactly where she would be. She was in the Den but I really didn't feel like searching the entire underground castle though. Ayame made a game out of it for the children. They had to sniff her out. Of course they were more than happy to help. When I told them that I was taking Tina with me not just to go home but to go beyond the Wildlands their tune changed entirely.

"When will you come back?" Earie, Calisto's son asked sniffling.

I wasn't.

"Tomorrow," Marisol asked wiping her tears.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't have to heart to tell them the truth.

"We go up at dark. We play. Then we eat and we sleep. Then she will bring The Tina Cat here again." Knox answered for me.

"That is not so bad." Marisol said, perking up.

"No, it is not." Tanari replied.

Knox wrapped his arm around Marisol with one hand and wiped her tears with the other. With such an errant show of compassion and love, he made me feel compelled to leave behind my roommate and my only companion. I had no misgivings. I wasn't coming back here once I left and I knew that I wouldn't get Tina back if I left her behind now.

That didn't change a thing, not when faced with the hopeful faces, quivering bottom lips and tear filled eyes of the little vamp scamps. I scratched Tina and set her down. When she meowed Naga, picked her up. Spoiled as Tina had become during our week here, she would probably never be happy back home with me anyway.

"I have a better idea." I told them. "If all of you promise to take very best care of her, I'll leave her here with you."

They cheered and agreed and swarmed me with hugs and gratitude. I couldn't find it in myself to be sad. I spent the rest of the day in the Den. When the sun went down we headed for the Justice Hall together. I was starting to realize that nobody partied like Wildlings. Even before we got to the room that would be used for the ceremony, I heard music and could smell all kinds of mouthwatering food.

I told myself that I wasn't looking for Eric just like I had told myself not to think of him today. I had told myself not to miss the feel of his hand holding mine or the sound of his voice. I told myself not to wonder if he was wondering about me. I pushed it back. There was just too much there for me to work through and I wasn't ready to do it. I just had to get home first.

No, I wasn't looking for Eric but when he walked into the room, I felt him before I saw him. There was this warmth that unfurled through me. Hands wound around my waist pulling me against him. The strength in his muscular arms was so familiar. The potency of his scent and the sensation were second to the memories that they brought to the forefront of my mind. It had nothing to do with sex. It just made everything feel better than it actually was. My body leaned in of its own volition and he dropped his lips to my neck.

"Dance with me," and it wasn't a question.

I was going to protest but he didn't give me chance to. I had enjoyed dancing with him. This beat was fast and playful. He spun me and moved with grace that should be beyond a man his size. Hell it even made me look graceful. When he tossed me high in the air I squealed like a little kid. I forgot everything that should trouble me.

After cake, Pythia rose to her feet and the room fell silent as if a switch had been flipped.

"This has always been one of my favorite days since its inception ages ago. I remember the day each of you took your first breaths, spoke your first words and took your first steps. It was my privilege to witness your strength as you emerged victoriously through the trials so that you may stand here proudly this day."

Several mothers clung to their children as if to keep them from taking this leap. Other children had to keep their parents from breaking down. Each child had families that stood at their backs, flanking them going back ages. I saw grandmothers and great grandmothers, some of which mirrored the child that was leaving and some that looked nothing alike. It was mind blowing.

"You are Wildlings."

Pythia's face didn't change but her tone was fierce.

I felt the power of those three little words as it settled into every single soul around me.

"Know that wherever you may go, whatever you face; know that the wings Ravens will forever be at your backs. You are our truth. Your life, your every breath, it is our irrefutable proof to the world, that Wildlings, we are forever."

The cry started with Thalia which was no surprise. The cry sparked every vampire to life it seemed. The Ravens didn't build it up this time. It ignited throughout every corner of the Hall and exploded like fire. The energy was teeming and threating to engulf the room. It seemed like the frail vampire had whipped all the Ravens into a frenzy with her words alone.

Thalia carried the noise but Eric made it sonic. The air was filled with a charge that not even I could deny. It was electric and the force of it made the floor under my feet feel alive with the strange energy. It blended in with the applause and cheers.

Applause rang out and goodbyes were said. It was so brutal for a few that I honestly couldn't watch. Finally we headed out, the walk led outside and into a pink house that was just a few rows from the Atrium. The door was open and we all walked in. I looked around the house curiously. A woman entered the room and she had to be the famous Octavia.

Octavia was the main Healer and also the most powerful witch. Eric told me that she alone maintained the illusion spell that made Inner Wild invisible to the outside world. It sounded stupid even to think it but she didn't look "very witchy" but she felt powerful by that I meant she gave me the absolute creeps. It raised the hairs on the back of my neck. I wasn't the only one, the six younger vampires I was with looked wary.

"You're okay." She said with a warm smile. "I'm unsettling you because I'm putting out a lot of power."

"What are you doing?" One of them asked.

"Opening a portal." She said. "I need blood from each of you in order for you to pass safely so, pick a bowl."

While they did that, she busied herself drawing markings on the doorway that separated her kitchen and the dining room. When she was finished the doorway was identical to the arched gateway in the Den. For some reason I was still expecting this to be more pizazz; a dance, a chant maybe even a chicken? All that happened was the scent of damp earth growing heavy in the air. Then the stone arch way melded into water and my view through it was cut off.

Eric retrieved a large scroll from a closet and unrolled it on the kitchen table. It was a map of the world. I watched fascinated by all the little blinking dots. The majority was in New York but tens of thousands were scattered all over.

"Are those all Wildlings?" I asked.

There were a lot more of them than I thought. I'd stupidly presumed that because I was in here, I was amongst the majority. The map was proof that that was wrong.

It was Octavia that answered my idle curiosity. "Yes. We are the largest Coven in the world with seventy thousand-five hundred and eleven. You are five hundred and twelve."

With a drop of each person's blood she added them to her map.

"The only people not on this map are the Elite. They take up too energy to track. It's easier to give them keys so that can use any door to come home. Everyone else, needs to be on that map in order to leave and return."

"The other main function of the map is to trackWildlings that are roaming so in the event of an emergency, extraction is expedient—"

"Boo!"

I shrieked but the sound of my sheer terror blended in with the chorus of many others. It made me feel like less of a coward. The younger vampires had almost literally climbed the walls, some were flashing fang, looking all kinds of hostile. A head had popped out of the watery gateway. It was male and he was grinning clearly pleased with himself for his prank, and wouldn't you know it. He was Thalia's son. Eric wrapped his arm around me, bringing my back to his front. It was for comfort but I was sure he wanted to hide the fact that he was laughing.

"Sirus," Draco said facing the floating head in the liquid door way, if I had a list of things that I thought I would never see that would be in the top five.

"I have requested repeatedly to have this rite of passage ceased. It is unnerving for the Young Ones."

If Sirus was shooting for contrite, he failed by a mile, so like Thalia. It seemed that I just couldn't escape that woman's brand of humor.

"It is still being considered Lord Draco." He turned to the mass of young explorers. "Change of hearts anyone?"

That got the younger vampires moving. Once the first of them entered and popped their head back out with a laugh, the rest couldn't wait. I watched them wondering just how long it would take to get out of here by boat; longer than I liked would be my guess. The best game plan would be to just close my eyes and hold my breath like the first time. Maybe I could faint and Eric would have to carry me through? That appealed for several reasons. It was as if he heard my lecherous thoughts. From the corner of his eyes, he smiled at me.

"I am sorry to not have spoken with you until now."

Suddenly I found myself face to face with Pythia. I'd known she was blind but up close it was unnerving because I felt like she could see me but I couldn't see her.

"That's alright." I replied pulling my eyes away from hers. "I'm sure you're very busy."

"Yes, this group needed much help during their trials. Be that as it may, I want to thank you for wedding Eric, unforeseen as it was."

I had no idea what to say to that. Sheesh, I thought to myself. Were all psychics' so vague and unnerving or was it just the vampire ones?

"Then again it is often the most unexpected things tend to bring the greatest joy."

Beside me Eric scoffed. "You do realize how fraudulent such vague statements make you appear?"

Her wrinkled face broke into a bright smile that I knew wasn't common for her. It was Eric. He just had that affect. He left my side and pulled her into a hug that made me think he was going to crush her. When he set her down, she kissed his cheek and he tucked her hair behind his ear in a tender show of her unspoken goodbye.

As Eric and I walked through the gate I realized that even if I wanted to throw caution to the wind and forego all reason for once in my life, Eric could and would never be mine. He belonged to an entire city of people, from the youngest child to Pythia and everyone in between. It would always be so.

The minute the floor around us solidified Eric was swept up by the Ravens at the house and I moved aside. It was just too much. I needed a minute. When Eric looked toward me I gave him a smile that I hoped didn't look as brittle as it felt. I wanted to get out and breathe the free air, polluted as it might be.


	23. Chapter 23

It took a few minutes for me to settle my rampant thoughts. It was even more difficult because not all of the thoughts in my head were my own. My mental shield against telepathy was a muscle I hadn't exercised in a week while in the Wild. It was weakened to the point of inadequacy. Thoughts from the neighboring houses flooded my mind. Eric's hands cradled my face and it dulled the volume of the thoughts.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

It would be so easy to fall back into the silence that his mind offered me. I didn't just want that. In this moment the thoughts were jarring and deafening, I needed it, I needed him. That was why I pulled away. The only thing that made it bearable was that this house was set in a suburban area and there weren't many minds to hear. I stood there with my eyes closed and kneading my temples, until I had built my mental shields, brick by brick and until the only thoughts in my head were my own.

"What happened to you?" Eric asked.

"I haven't had to flex that particular muscle in a week. It's shaky."

He held his hand out for me to hold. "You are my shield I can be yours. I can help you."

I shook my head. "I can't teach you if I have to depend on you too."

He dropped his hand but came to stand as close to me as he could without touching. The inches that separated became magnetized. The harder I tried to ignore it the more powerful the pull of him became. I was going to ask him to leave to give me some space but when I looked up he was gazing at me. The expression on his face was concerned, guilty almost. Before I could even give my brain the command, my arms were around him and buried my face in his chest. He hesitated but wrapped his arms around me. His cheek rested on my head and then he held my face in his hands.

"I am sorry."

"It's not you, really. After pure silence, any amount of noise feels like too much." I told him.

"You were in pain."

"It's back up again." I said, bumping him playfully with my shoulder. "Stop worrying, you'll give yourself wrinkles and then you'll really look your age."

He actually gasped. That would have been priceless in and of itself but it was the look on his face that did it. I fell out laughing. I was so busy with that I didn't see him stalking toward me until it was too late. He lifted me clear off my feet and tickled me so bad that I squealed like a little piggy.

"There you two are." Someone called. "Damn newlyweds."

Eric kissed my neck before he set me down. When I turned I found Sirus except he was dressed differently. I frowned. The scare he had given me minutes ago wasn't far from my mind.

"That was my twin, Sirus." He said putting his hands up. "Uncle, will tell you that I am Horus."

I looked to Eric. For all I knew this could be some trick that was segue into another prank.

Eric nodded. "This is Horus. He is Thalia's first born and Den Master."

"Sorry," I said with a smile. "Your brother scared the shit out of me earlier."

He nodded and smiled. "That sounds about right. It is good to meet you." He replied. "I heard the wedding was one for the ages. I am sorry I missed it."

"Don't worry about it."

I expected him to hug me, or at least come in and touch me in some way. He didn't. He didn't breach my personal space at all and it was weird, really weird. He held his hand out. He shook my hand but hugged Eric. I supposed being stationed out here meant that he understood a concept like personal space.

"You two are holding up orientation." Horus said when he and Eric finally pulled apart.

"There are only a few hours until we depart. I would like to show Sookie the city."

"I'm afraid I must insist. Come on, I'll walk you guys down."

"Horus, orientation is a safety measure that I do not require."

"You haven't spent any time in the Outer Wildlands since the Revolutionary war. For that kind of gap orientation is kinda mandatory, Uncle. Sorry."

Eric frowned and it was clear that he was about to give Horus a hard time. I didn't want that not on my account.

"Can we maybe catch a later flight?" I suggested.

"Not tonight and there is nothing until the day after." He replied. "What's the rush anyway? You guys are on your honeymoon. Orientation tonight and tomorrow, I'll be your personal tour guide through the best the city has to offer."

Eric looked to me. He was intent on keeping his word and I did not want to prolong the inevitable.

"I'm eager to head out." I said. "Maybe some other time."

Horus nodded. He was talking to us about the hot spots to visit in the city. I smiled and listened politely. It was only Eric and I that knew that when I left I wasn't ever coming back.

I sat in with Eric on the orientation class. Most of it seemed to be an overview of human basic laws, you wouldn't know if you were, oh for instance from another world and say, oh not human. Then black backpacks were handed out. I got one too. Inside, I found a passport, social security card, birth certificate, personal checks, credit cards and at least ten thousand in cash. In addition to that were top of the line laptop and cellphone.

I was raised not to take things I hadn't earned. I could see it as payment for training Eric but I slept with him so it made me feel cheap to think of it that way. I could accept it as reparations for the interruption of my life but how much of an interruption was it really? I'd been gone a week, during which strangers treated me better than the people from home. I'd had social and sexual experiences I thought I never could. That was more than enough. I left the bag where I found it when class was over.

We were headed out when I was presented with the bag again. This time it was Horus holding it out to me.

"You forgot this." He said.

"I didn't forget it. I don't want it."

"I know it seems excessive but now that you are Wildling, your safety and comforts are paramount." said he replied, gently.

"No thanks." My reply was firm but polite.

He looked between me and Eric.

"Want is not a relevant factor." Eric began. It was clear that he was reading the thoughts from Horus verbatim. "It has been determined by our analysts that one cannot survive in these times without these resources."

I actually laughed. I knew that they weren't human and that they didn't live in the same world as me but the premise was still ridiculous.

"People survive on less. Trust me, I'll do just fine."

Horus looked at Eric again. They went back and forth in another language. I knew the moment Eric had lost the argument. He threw his hand up defeated and gestured to me.

"If I take the pack, you cannot roam beyond the Wildlands." Horus said. "You are Wildling. My job is to think of all the people, places and things that can hurt you when you leave home. If your husband was anyone else but The Lord Raven himself, I would not let you off base and out of sight without a three man escort as per protocol."

His tone matched mine. He was polite and if I didn't know his father I wouldn't be able to see the severity in his eyes. He really wasn't going to let me leave without taking a bunch of stuff I didn't want. I looked at Eric. He shrugged and put his hands up again. It was a leave me out of it kind of gesture. Right, he had just suffered through orientation. It wasn't the same thing though. He actually needed the class. I didn't need to have money and expensive things thrown at me.

"You aren't even yet bound by the Blood Laws. You shouldn't even be this far from your sponsor, never mind roaming beyond the Wildlands. If I take that pack, I will revoke your roaming pass. Don't make me the bad guy, Lady Raven, please. Take the pack, better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it."

I took it but I wasn't happy about it, in fact I was fuming.

"Arguing with Horus has always been futile, even when he was a baby." Eric told me as he got in the car. "It can be trying but it makes him a good Den Master. He understands that the rules are for safety and so he bends them for no one. Do not be angry with him."

"I'm not." I lied.

Eric chuckled, clearly calling me a liar. He was right but I elbowed him anyway. I did get to see some of New York during the long drive to the airport though. I saw so much but not enough. It was a blur of lights and sounds. There was traffic and people and tall buildings and street performers. It was the city that never slept alright.

I've never flown on an airplane before. I felt better because Eric admitted that he hadn't either. It was nice that I wasn't the only one that was impressed by the private jet that was to ferry us to Louisiana. Of course I had to explain to Eric that not all planes were like that. He asked me so many questions that at first it threw me. Then again, we were now in my element.

I'd been so excited to fly but the minute the plane started to move my stomach dropped as fear descended on me like a ton of bricks. I grabbed onto Eric's hand. He just let me keep it even though I was sure I was cutting off the circulation.

"Tell me about your home." He said. "What is it like?"

"Small."

"Like the Inner Wildlands."

"Smaller, only about two thousand people." I said trying to breathe.

He was trying to distract me from my fear and it worked. I prattled on and on about home and even about Jason. It occurred to me that he didn't share about his family. I didn't hold it against him. If my sister was a murdering zealot, I wouldn't be eager to bring it up either. By the time we reached cruising altitude I was much more relaxed. During the flight Eric read the manual to his phone. I had no idea how he resisted the urge to just fiddle with it. I'd promised not to use mine but I would be lying if I said it wasn't tempted.

It was late almost sunrise when Eric and I disembarked in Shreveport. Once he collected my lone suitcase he walked slowly towards the doors, meanwhile I all but ran for them. I was greeted with heat, that almost sultry warmth of spring in the south. Even the humidity felt good. There really was no place like home. While I basked in that truth Eric drew a lot of attention and was having a hard time just getting to the door. People stared and when they smiled he waved hello. For someone that didn't spend any social time in the outside world, I thought he handled it well. I didn't think it was at all due to his telepathy.

"The people here are very friendly." Eric commented when he finally caught up to me.

"Southern hospitality." I said. It might also have something to do with the fact that he was six foot five of pure sexiness.

He pulled me down to sit beside him, clearly we were waiting for a ride. "Our car should arrive shortly."

He was right. A black SUV circled the area and parked right in front of us. It was shiny and judging by the amount of attention it was getting it was new and expensive. The four ring brand was a recognizable luxury even to my country bumpkin eyes.

Two men got out. They moved with not only authority but an overall superciliousness that marked them as more than human.

"Good morning," Eric greeted.

"Papers." The closer of the two snapped.

These two were vampire police for the state of Louisiana. I knew that there was a coven here too, The Leclerq Coven. I knew that other vampires would be different from Wildlings. It was another thing to see it. These two looked nothing like Ravens though. Everyone in the Wild was happy to help without having to be asked. Even in plain clothes and off rotations, Ravens stood out. They moved with a sense of purpose and always had an eye out for someone in need. These two looked like they rolled out of their coffin tonight just for a chance to hurt someone.

Eric reached into his bag and held out two heavily embossed cards that bore a red and black insignia I couldn't make out. Whatever it was had the other vampire taking a step back. His hostile expression turned to one of abject awe. I swear, I hadn't blinked but his partner was now suddenly on the other side of the car instead of next to him.

"Forgive me I…"

Eric smiled good-naturedly. "We will be going now, if that is all?"

The man glanced down at the paper and back at Eric and then around. "There are supposed to be two of you."

Eric put his arm around me. It was as if that little bit of contact between us was what finally placed me on their radar. Until right then they had been implicitly ignoring my existence.

"Yes, this is my wife."

"She is human." He informed Eric.

You know in case he had missed that little tidbit. I actually rolled my eyes at that.

Eric laughed and the other vampire smiled but it was brittle as glass and he still looked plenty confused. It was clear that he was nervous, didn't get the joke but was scared of irritating Eric. The other one just gawked from the other side of the car. Honestly if he took off running into the night, I wouldn't be surprised.

"That is one of her many charms." Eric said.

"On behalf of our Queen, we invite you to reside at the Royal court for the duration of your visit as honored guests of the Leclerq Coven."

Wait, what now?

"That is most kind. Regretfully, we must decline as we are on our Honeymoon."

He nodded. "All the items shipped have been cleared and are in tow. Would you like to check?"

Eric shook his head. "No, thank you."

"You are most welcome." He said. "We hope you enjoy your stay."

The pair of vampire backed away from the car, leaving it behind for us. They didn't go far. They stood by the entry way of the airport terminal and stared.

"Would you mind?" Eric asked pointing to the driver's seat.

"Never driven a car before either, huh?" I asked.

He shook his head. Normally I would mind driving someone else's brand new car but all things considered, this was the most normal/abnormal thing I'd done all week. He got my suitcase in the back and I saw that it was filled with many others. They were nothing like my ratty old one. The scent of new leather was palpable even with the prominent 'new car smell. That had explained why Eric had confidently left home with nothing but the clothes on his back and his backpack.

The two vampires that had brought the car were still there staring. I saw them in the rearview mirror. It made me wonder about Eric and how he had gotten such a reputation amongst his own kind. I was too tired and I'd reached the maximum level on processing vampire information for the day. Getting us home was all that mattered. By the time I got us there, the sun was up and I could barely stay awake.

Once home though, I couldn't seem to make it past the threshold. I just stood there in the doorway looking around my kitchen. All the little knickknacks that made it mine and every story attached to them was still there. It was the feeling that was different. Eight days, it had only been eight days but it felt like I'd been ensconced in Wildlands for a lifetime.

It had been a scant few days. Yet so much had changed. Idly I wondered if that was defined time, the experiences that was infused into every moment and not actually the hands on the clock. I had seen so much. It wasn't just what I saw; it was the fact that I survived it even when I thought I wouldn't.

I had more than survived. I had enjoyed so much of what life here in own home deprived me of. Passion, pleasure, acceptance and friendship, I'd had that in the Wild. I'd had experiences that so many people took for granted but I hadn't. I cherished them because I knew it was fleeting. I would cherish them always but my life was here and it wouldn't always have Eric in it.

Once inside, I showered and left Eric to find his way around the house and to unpack. I didn't want to face him. My resolve was new and I knew that it was weak. I was weak for him. I stood under the spray of hot water trying to empty my mind but it was to no avail. Just being naked and knowing he was in the house made me ache for him. All I could think of were the countless times Eric hands had been all over me. My body couldn't forget the sensation. It was as if my thoughts drew him to me. I never heard the door but I heard the whisper of clothes as he discarded them on the bathroom floor. I felt the thrill as he joined me in the tub.

He held my face in his hands and smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"You."

His smile grew. It was heart throbbing and smoldering but was laced with an edge of something I was starting to know well—hunger. It bled from his stormy blue eyes as his scent clung to the steam in the shower intoxicating my brain. Already I knew that I would give in. I was tired but the mere sight of him made my heart fluttered wildly in my chest. When he kissed me every single part of came alive.


	24. Chapter 24

I woke up very late into the afternoon, with the sun in my face and a delighted tingle coursing through my body. Eric was asleep. As was becoming the norm he held me close to his side. I had gotten used to the weight of his body on mine. I felt it even when I was sleep. It took some doing but I was able to wiggle out from his grasp and get my day started. First thing I did was call Jason.

My brother had been glamoured into believing that I had been on vacation. In part, I was happy that I hadn't been reported missing. On the other hand it made me squeamish to think that someone had been knocking around in my brother's head. There wasn't much there by way of intelligence or even common sense but still. I was just eager to talk to him, to hear his voice.

When Jason didn't answer, I left him a message telling him I was back. Horrible as it sounded my brother wouldn't be the first person to notice I was missing though he was my only living relative. Sam would have noticed. Whoever had been in charge of sewing up my affairs here hadn't thought to pay him a visit. Getting a hold of Sam was arguably more important than Jason. I needed to talk to him, if only because he was my boss. Experience told me that Jason hadn't shared the information that he had about me, falsified as it may have been. Even by some miracle of temporary selflessness Jason had shared what he knew, Sam wouldn't believe some crap about me dropping everything and going on vacation without telling him. No matter if it was free. Sam didn't answer his phone at home and the bar was open so that would be my first stop.

I left Eric to sleep. I cleaned up, though there wasn't much to do. I busied myself just so I could feel normal and in the swing of things. Keeping vampire hours while I was home now wouldn't do.

When Eric began moving, I started breakfast, well it was more like a late lunch. I even used grans special recipe for biscuits and paired it with eggs and bacon. Out of habit I broke off a piece of bacon and held it downward, expecting Tina to be there waiting for her treat. She wasn't. I had left her behind. It was the strangest thing because I felt like I had left behind not only my cat but a part of myself too.

I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Eric asked.

I looked up and not for the first time, the man stole my breath. I knew for a fact that he hadn't had anything to do with the clothes he had been provided. Most likely some Raven at the base had done research and shopped in order for him to blend in. The first time I got a full look at him he had been in tights and a tunic. He resembled someone out of place and out of time or he may have been the leading man in a fairy romance novel.

As I looked at Eric now, I knew that blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt had never looked so good on anyone, ever. His hair was in ponytail and was looped to make it appear shorter no doubt. The 'V' of the neckline drew my eyes to the hollow of his throat and brought to mind the taste of it from the night before. I stared at him and he arched a curious brow at me. Right, he had asked me a question.

"Nothing. I was thinking of Tina." I said setting the table. "She loves bacon."

"I am sorry." He said. "I know leaving her with the children was difficult."

"Yeah, but watching them cry was worse." I admitted.

They could give her more attention and affection than I could. Most days, I worked between ten and sixteen hour shifts. Sleep aside; whenever I was home I had so much to do, especially since Gran died. As much I missed Tina I knew that she would be happier in the Den in the Inner wild than she ever was here. I didn't want to get into that, not now, not when I was supposed to be preparing myself to fulfill my end of the bargain with Eric.

"Eat." I said. "We have a couple stops to make today."

Before he sat down he placed a red little velvety box in my hand. I knew the contents. I should have noticed the wedding band on his ring finger as well. In my defense I had been ogling other parts of him.

"It is a diamond ring." He said opening the box for me. "I was told that this was a thing now."

Every girl wanted a proposal that meant something. I assumed that we all wanted the love and promise and future that a ring symbolized. I would never have that, not with Eric. This ring was nothing but an expensive prop in the façade that we had to maintain while he was here. To him, the necklace around my neck meant more. To me, it was a reminder of the temporary nature of my marriage.

"You do not like it." He asked. "We could get you another."

I smiled through the lump in my throat. He definitely didn't get it.

"It's perfect."

It was nothing but the truth. The Princess cut diamond glittered in the light and the wedding band that followed looked so heavy with diamonds that I had real concerns about damaging my ring finger. The ring was beautiful and so perfect but the moment and setting was so wrong.

We ate and talked. Mostly I was telling Eric about the lay of the land. He listened and asked questions. Some of the questions were normal. Others showed his age and the fact that he really didn't spend anytime beyond the Wild. For some reason when I told him that I was a barmaid, it shocked him. I didn't get the feeling that he had a problem with it, more like he didn't get it.

"You enjoy doing this?"

He definitely didn't get it. What kind of telepath enjoyed being with drunken patrons?

"It's not that simple." I replied. "I need to support myself. The money pays my bills. It makes the drawback more tolerable."

This wasn't the Wild I didn't just get to work the bar one week and the school or library the next. Here in the real world when life dealt you a hand you played it out. Instead of going there with him I asked him a question.

"What's your favorite job in the Wild?"

"I love children and I love the water so The Den and the boats."

I wasn't going back but I couldn't say I wouldn't miss the little faces of the Wildling children. I also knew that as long as I lived I would never see anything half as magnificent as the underground castle that was the Den. I smiled because I actually had something in common with Eric.

"So you've never fathered any children, ever?"

I had no idea what made me ask that. It might be because he was so good with kids. It might be because I was looking for something in him that would make me find fault in him. Maybe I was just nosey. I had no idea. In any case he shook his head but I didn't miss the tension that suffused him.

"No."

To date, he had never given me a one word answer, not even on the day we first met, when we had been strangers colliding haphazardly in the rain. His reaction to what I thought was a very normal question made me think of the reaction of the other vampires from the airport. Old as he was, I knew that he had seen a lot, had suffered through even more but I couldn't understand how it had shaped the man that was sitting across from me.

"Can I ask why?"

"Is the answer very important to you?" he asked.

Answering my question with a question, it was another first. I was positively intrigued.

"Yes."

He sighed, clearly resigned.

"My given name is Northman. It is a name that I never wanted to inflict on another because I know its weight. I've borne it. In the history of our kind, no other name has ever been responsible for as much death and destruction and mayhem."

"Jorah told me about your sister. What she is responsible for—"

He shook his head. "Freyda is simply carrying on the legacy of our forebears and for a time, I did too."

He didn't meet my eyes. I knew what he was admitting. If I said that it didn't shock me I would be lying. I would also be lying if I said that I was repulsed. He was thousands of years old. This wasn't the first time that I'd wondered of the ugliness that scarred him. It was the first time he was sharing it with me.

"I was raised to believe that Purebreds were all that their should be. All other species were inferior. I believed it wholly. It was my reality. I knew nothing else. My mother did not allow me to see cruelty as natural. She was my conscience and for that my father punished us both. With every century that passed, I got tired of being the reason she suffered at his hands. I got tired of the beatings. I got tired of my father's scorn; his ridicule and his disappointment. I wanted him to look at me the way he did Freyda. In my desire for that, I lost myself. Worst of all, my mother watched as I turned into a monster. That was why she killed herself."

I shook my head and took his hand. "That was not your fault."

He shook his head.

"Telepathy insures that merciful lies grants us no comfort. I saw it in her mind as she died. Being brutalized by father for centuries did not changer her. Freyda being just like him did not break her heart but me…I did what they couldn't what I broke her will because when I embraced darkness, I killed her hope for the future of our Coven. That is my legacy and it is one that no child should have to endure."

Far as I'd seen, no one in the Wild was judged by their past. I couldn't understand why Eric was damning himself because of the people he shared blood with. He didn't pick his family. No one did. For what had to be the first time, I wished he could read my mind so he could hear how crazy he sounded. He judged himself harshly and the punishment he dealt himself was even more so.

"You aren't your sister, your father or whoever else." Was all I said.

The rest of the meal was in silence. At first it was heavy but by the time we were heading out, it was easy again.

It had been my hope that we could take my car instead of the ostentatious luxury car, no such luck. After being left idle for a week, my beat up old rust bucket wasn't starting.

I felt like all eyes were on me as we drove into town. I pulled in front of Merlotte's, the few people that saw the car stopped and gaped. A fact about small towns: people stared and whispered, openly.

"First off, if anyone asks you are from the Netherlands." I began. Eric was the epitome of Nordic beauty, fair skin and hair. His cover story also fit right in with my fake vacation.

"Do not be anxious, wife." He reassured. "I am very personable, charming really."

People, vampire or human loved him. There was nothing I could say to contradict him that wouldn't be a lie. So I gave him shit.

"Charming enough to tell me how old you are?" I asked with a bright smile.

He snorted a laugh. "I will never be that charming."

He got out of the car and held my door open. It felt like walking the freaking Green Mile as we headed inside. The thoughts were so loud that it pierced through my shield. It was proof that I have been away from people too long.

'Who in the world is he?'

'Oh my!'

'That car has to cost a fortune!'

'What is he doing with the Stackhouse girl? Doesn't he know she's a freak?'

Yup, home sweet home, I thought dryly.

It was the usual late afternoon crowd in Merlotte's. Arlene was working my shift and she wasn't happy about it either. Her children were running around the bar and it looked as though she was short both a waitress and a cook. With the icy glare I got the instant she saw my face; it would be hard to believe that I'd covered countless of her shifts over the years as she chased after Mr. Right. It would impossible to fathom that on my days off, I'd watched her children when Mr. Right turned into Mr. Right Now.

Arlene was ready to give me a piece of her mind no doubt. I knew the moment she saw the vampire next to me. Her frown softened and she swooned. Her mouth fell open and she just gawked as Eric and I approached.

"Hey Arlene," I greeted.

"Hey there, Sookie!" she said, not batting an eye my way.

Arlene's eyes were eating Eric up in a languorous trial from his feet to his mane of hair. It made me want to hurt her, which was new. Arlene might be a selfish user but I had never wanted to do her bodily harm before.

"This is my husband Eric," I said by way of introduction. "Eric, meet Arlene."

In The Wild every time I'd been congratulated, I could actually see and feel their joy even though I didn't understand why my presumed joy would make them happy too. No I hadn't understood it but I'd felt it. It had been that real. Arlene's gushing of joy was as fake as her head of red hair.

"Hello," Eric said holding his hand out.

Arlene pushed his hand aside and hugged him. "Get on over here, you!"

Yes, all the better for her to molest you.

Eric didn't look nearly as uncomfortable as he should. I guess he was used to touch but Wildling contact wasn't like this octopus impersonation I was witnessing. Seriously, could he not hear all the lewd things going on in her mind? If he did, he didn't show it.

"Pleasure, to make your acquaintance," he replied when Arlene finally released him.

"You are too gorgeous." She giggled, flipping her hair. "And that accent, Sookie wherever did you find such a man?"

Eric squeezed my hand and it was only then I realized he hadn't let me go and I was crushing his fingers.

"Happy coincidence, we met while on the cruise." I said waving an errant hand.

Her eyes zeroed in on the rock on my ring finger. I groaned internally as she squealed all over again. She latched onto my hand and oohed and aahed at the size of the rock. The few other waitresses around came over and by the end of it I was ready to do murder. They were all thinking it but it was Dawn that confirmed it was a real flawless diamond. Surprisingly all of it wasn't as mentally taxing as it ought to have been. It was because Eric still held my free hand in his.

"Well, we need to get going. I just came by to let Sam know I was back from my vacation." I said. "He around?"

I knew he wasn't otherwise he would have broken this up already. Dawn answered with a shake of her head.

"No, Sam had some family thing come up the day after you went on your Cruise."

Her words weren't accusing like Arlene's. Her eyes lingered on Eric appreciatively but at least she was trying to be covert. I knew it wasn't an easy thing to do. She wasn't even thinking of doing things to him that would get them both arrested in these parts. She was simply shocked. Dawn and many other people thought I'd run off with Sam.

I flushed. I guess I hadn't kept my crush on him as big a secret as I hoped. Since I was already flustered, no one noticed my blush—I hoped. I also hoped that Eric wasn't reading their thoughts.

"Did he say when he'd be back?"

"Tomorrow," Arlene chimed in. "He calls to check on things, I'll let him know you're back."

By the sound of her voice I knew she was going to tell him every single detail. I wondered how he would take all this seeing that it wouldn't come from me. I couldn't tell him the truth but I didn't want him to think less of me. Crush aside, he was the closest friend I had.

Once back in the confines of the car, I let out a relieved sigh. That hadn't gone nearly as bad as I thought it would. Beside me Eric was grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

"That went very well." Eric announced. "Where to next?"

He sounded rather pleased with himself and I had to laugh. Of course he was good with people, his face and body was glamour. A part of me was expecting him to have a hard time with adjusting. Not because I wanted him to suffer but because it would make him seem more real but I guess no one did perfect like Eric. What made him even more perfect was the fact that he didn't know it.

I had a couple errands to run. Eric and I did them together. He pushed the shopping cart and I deposited items in. When he walked by something that caught his eye, he threw it in too despite my protest of calories. It felt normal which made it feel even more alien. It was such an easy rapport.

It made me feel like if this was my life, it would be a good life. It was such an innocent thought but it spread through me like poison and took root in my heart. What would it be like to give into him and never let him go? What if I never had to wake from this dream? I was lost to the possibilities as I drove us home.

I didn't even realize I was smiling until Eric asked, "What?"

"You." I replied stealing his line from earlier.


	25. Chapter 25

The first thing I saw as Eric and I rounded the turn into my driveway was Jason's truck, the one he had bought with his half of Grans life insurance policy. My brother's truck was an orange and red monstrosity with shining chrome rims in the tires and a custom grill. I'd always hated that thing, like my brother it was obnoxious. It was also a symbol of the fight we just had after we buried our grandmother. It had been the fight that split us apart, or rather it felt that way because there was no one else to keep us together.

"Hey," I greeted. "I called you."

"You married a stranger." He spat.

It was an accusation and he made it right in front of Eric.

"I had to hear it from Hoyt!" who had no doubt heard the mangled version of events from his gossipy mom, Maxine.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked.

These days, little Jason did shamed me anymore. After witnessing people who weren't blood act like a family, I didn't want Eric to see me and my brother interact. In part it was because I didn't want my husband to think poorly of my brother but there was more to it.

My belief in human goodness was meager at best. I guess I didn't want my brother to personify that to another telepath. With his selfish thoughts laid bare to another that could see them; I would no longer have the luxury of lame excuses and childhood memories to defend my brother's callous behavior. Without that, I wasn't even sure I could stomach him.

After glaring at Eric, Jason followed me to the very edge of the driveway where my lawn met the woods. Eric carried the groceries inside the house. I knew that he could hear every word so I did my best to be patient with my brother despite my anger.

"We met on my cruise." I lied. "We got married by the captain. It was a shock to me too but in a good way."

Jason looked at me skeptically. No matter what was done to his mind he knew this kind of thing wasn't like me. Whoever had glamoured him didn't know that. I was the level headed one. I was steadfast and boring. I'd never allotted myself the luxury of idle curiosity when it came to people.

"Maxine said you were throwing up the morning before you left," because that old gossip thought me pregnant. My supposed cruise might have been some out of town trip to have my pregnancy terminated.

Then I'd been a virgin for crying out loud. Of all the ridiculous rumors! I'd expected Maxine to nag me for confirmation not go to my brother as if she was just so sure of herself. It was infuriating. Heaven forbid I could be reacting strongly to the murder of a member of the small town.

My brother believed the word of a known gossip. I knew the only reason that he was over here playing 'My sisters keeper' was because word was spreading through town, not because I'd called him so I could explain everything to him, best as I could without spilling the beans on vampires. Jason was like our mother. He had always cared more about what people at large thought than he did about the feelings of his blood. It sparked my anger.

"What exactly are you implying?" I challenged.

"Just that you're kinda naïve," he said.

I agreed with him on my naivety but being naïve didn't mean I was stupid. I was telepath. He knew that no matter how much he tried to ignore it or chalk it up as a quirk. For him to try and belittle me was unacceptable.

"If you got yourself knocked up, you didn't have to run off and marry the first stranger who'd have ya'."

My brother was the only family I had left and he knew it. If he thought I was coerced into my union with Eric in any way he should be furious on my behalf. Heck, even if that wasn't the case he should be grilling Eric trying to intimidate him so he treated me right. If he thought I was pregnant with a baby I didn't want or was sacred to have all by myself. He should be offering to be there for me.

Instead my brother was thinking of carting me off to the same Doctor that he had brought his many one nightstands to. I wasn't judging. I was glad to live a place where a woman had the right to choose but he was my only family. His only concern was saving face and hiding more shame that he was afraid I would bring to him. It hurt. Just when I thought that nothing about the way the very people in this town saw me could wound me anymore, my brother found a way.

When we were teenagers, his urge to distance himself from the stigma that surrounded me was there. I could understand it and at least he felt guilty about it. This… it was too much. Not to mention Jason always left me alone to make the yearly pilgrimage to our parents and grandparents graves…. Alone… Jason had always left me alone… to deal with the worst, like during the holidays when I felt so alone that I wept with the pain of it. He could only be bothered when it bothered him. This was one of those times.

Instead of worrying about me Jason was concerned about having both a freak and unwed slut for a sister. It was right there in his head. Not once did the thought of a niece or a nephew cross his mind. If I was normal like him I would have been married and have a hand full of kids. He just wanted the love of what the rest of the world thought most appealing. That was how he lived his life. I just assumed I was exempt. I wasn't.

"I'm done talking to you, Jason Stackhouse." I said calmly. "You best get in little Tonka Truck and leave."

It was amazing the things that my sudden immersion into the world of the supernatural did for me. Furious as I was at my brother in this moment. It didn't show. In my mind, Jason just looked like a foreign or alien place, a thing that I did not have the tools to face in that moment. I needed to walk away at least until my brother pulled his head out of his ass or until my ire waned. I backed away from him.

I guess this was the first time that I was not responding to him in the way he wanted. I wasn't arguing or desperate to talk things through. It bothered him. Again, it wasn't because he cared. It was about him. Jason yanked my wrist—hard. Like a lethal breeze Eric appeared. He wasn't by my side. It was more like he was a mediator in a conflict that was partial to killing my brother and he would be swift about it. My anger at Jason was replaced with fear for him.

"Let her go. Now."

Instantly, Jason's face went blank and his hold loosened. Glamour. I'd never seen it first hand and in my current state of mind it angered me further. I just had no idea who I was angry with. My guess was that I was pissed at the whole goddamned world, myself included. I couldn't stand it. I didn't wait around to see what happened. I stalked inside and by the time I was slamming the door shut behind me, I could hear Jason's truck drive away. I was scrubbing the floor in the hall bathroom when Eric found me. It was clean but anything was better than crying like I felt like doing.

"I am sorry." He said, leaning in the doorway.

The thing was that he sounded like he was. Meanwhile there wasn't a crumb of remorse, shame or compunction to be found in the mind of my own brother. I waited for Eric to ask about Jason or my family but he didn't. I guess everything he needed to know he had seen in my brother's selfish and callous thoughts. I'd never been so ashamed in all my life.

"You don't have to be sorry. What do you have to be sorry for?" I snapped, scrubbing at the floor harder.

"It's not like you're the only living relative I have in the whole goddamn world! It's not like I've known you all my life or nothin'. Ain't like I've always been there, every single time you needed me, or wanted to use me because I was the only person stupid and desperate enough to answer you call, nope, not at all. That wasn't you. So, you don't have to be sorry. You don't have to care one bit. You don't have to give a shit!"

I scoured the floor and my vision blurred with my tears and sweat but I didn't care. I just continued to exert myself as if my effort would make everything right again. It didn't and when it didn't, I lost whatever control I had left. He slid down and took a seat on the floor. He didn't try to stop me, not even after my tears spilled over my eyelids. He just let me try to clean my anger and hurt away and when that didn't work; when my tears could no longer be silenced he picked me up off the floor and held me. He held me so hard that it hurt but I was in so much pain that I welcomed it.

"It is easy to believe that all you see is all that there is but you know there is more." Eric murmured.

I knew there was. I knew that even under every selfish, hurtful thing my brother had ever done, he loved me. Despite his callousness, I knew that there was good in him. I just didn't want to see that, not when I was still hurting.

I nodded and said nothing. Sleep didn't come and I just lay there twirling my ring on my finger.

"Tell me what to do to help you." Eric said.

When I gazed up at him he looked pained. So much so that I it surpassed mine. I held his face and kissed him. While he was surprised, it didn't take him long to return it. When he climbed on top of me all I could do was exult in the luxury of having him this close to me. It made everything feel right.

Helplessly, I wrapped my arms around him and when he kissed me all I could do was give in. It felt better than the first time. It wasn't just because there was no pain. It was in my desperation to have him fill me up again. It was all the delicious things I knew to expect. It was in the less controlled way he stripped my clothes off me.

I tried not to scream. He took it as a challenge. He was between my legs and there was nothing to keep him from that deep secret place with every thrust. I tried to keep from begging him for every orgasm but he made me do all that and more.

Having his fangs inside me was as titillating as it had been the first time. I craved his lack of control. I craved the taste of his blood on my tongue cementing the passion between us. It also healed me so I could go all night with him. I didn't care that his blood only seemed to make me wetter, hotter and eager for more of him. All that mattered was that I surrendered to him and he gave into me. When I was sated beyond belief and tucked in his arms, I had another thought.

What was holding me here, to Bon Temps, to my brother? I didn't know anymore. I fell asleep but when I woke up it was to Eric touching my face. Even in sleep I couldn't explain it, it felt different. I opened my eyes and saw that I was alone with the version of the vampire that I didn't know. The one that was dangerous, except he wasn't the same. He was in his uniform but he appeared calmer. Unlike the first time, I could see traces of the man he was. It was probably because it was so quiet where I lived. There were literally no thoughts to be heard of for miles. All he could hear was me and I was quiet.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He paused for a long beat but he nodded. "You're here."

I smiled and took his hand. "Yeah. Come to bed, Sweetheart."

He stared at me for a few moments and then out the window. I saw as his consciousness returned. The uniform magically receded into the braided bracelet on his wrist. I was looking at the Eric I knew. He was confused and for a moment he was shaken but I took his hand in mine.

"You're okay." I told him. "You woke me up that's all. You were about to come back to bed."

"No, I cannot." He said. He tilted his head to the side. "Your shifter friend approaches and he is not alone. That was what woke me."

"My Shifter friend?" I asked as I sat up. "Who would that be exactly?"

"You call him Sam. He owns the tavern."

I really thought that there was nothing that could shock me anymore. After all, I'd discovered vampires. I had lived amongst them in a hidden realm parallel to this one for a week. Somehow this bit of news managed to knock me through a loop. It was harder for me to recover from this bit of news.

In between showing me the best the Inner Wildlands had to offer and making love all day long, Eric had told me about other creatures of the supernatural. There were even more of them than I thought. Some were extinct. Others were simply reclusive and lived in other realms.

Shifters were two-natured as were Werewolves. They were human for the most part with the exception of turning into animals. Weres could only turn into one animal, be it wolf, lion or whatever and they were helpless to the full moon. A Shifter on the other hand could turn into any animal and at any time.

I knew Sam. I'd had a crush on him for as long as I could remember. He was one of the nicest people I'd ever met. I'd been inside his head, foggy as it was. If he was a Shifter, I would know. I was a telepath. Then, everything about him that I chalked up as nothing suddenly became everything. Without fail, Sam went down to Texas once a month to visit his mother. I never minded running things for him at the bar. In fact, it endeared me to him that he cared about his mother that much. Could it have been just an excuse so he could give into his nature?

A piercing howl tore through the quiet of the night. It was answer enough. I reached out with my sixth sense in search of Sam. All I heard were fuzzy thoughts that were so much like his but his unique mind was gone. It was indiscernible from the others. I kicked the sheet off and ran for the door. I had no idea what I thought I was doing but I wanted to go to my only true friend in this town and explain everything. He was a creature of the super natural. I could tell him the whole truth.

"No." Eric said, not letting me go. "Your friend is beside himself at the moment. He came to find you the day you left. When he found the scent of vampire, he has been searching for you since."

"I can tell him—"

Eric shook his head. "No, Sookie. He is not himself. He is not the man you know. In this moment, he is Pack and The Pack is hunting vampire and you smell of me. He will be too taken by the hunt and too angry to be discriminant. "

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"We are Wildling. We must avoid conflict at all costs. We need to remain here. It is the safest recourse for all involved. Per procedure, I have contacted the Enforcer for the Leclerq coven closest to our location." He replied.

Eric already had his phone in hand and was typing too fast for me to follow.

"They will sort it out and come to a peaceful understanding."

"What if they don't?"

"They will." He assured me. "I would be surprised if the Enforcer was not already familiar with the Alpha of The Pack.

"What if they don't? What will happen to Sam?"

He smiled as he set his phone down. Then he came to take my hand. "What is that you told me about worrying causing wrinkles?"

The Lord Raven wanted to die.

"You might be an old man but unless you want to die by my hands, you will never say that to me or any woman, ever again."

He laughed and despite my worry, I smiled.

"Duly noted," Eric said kissing lips, chastely.

I was helpless against the feel of his lips against mine. It made me feel like everything would be alright. It dawned on me that I didn't just trust him with my life. I trusted him with Jason's and Sam's too. Since Gran passed away there wasn't anyone I trusted that much. It was strange; stranger than being married to a vampire; stranger than Sam being a Shifter and even stranger Werewolves. Stranger yet was how good it felt to be able to rely on someone else again. Until right then, I wouldn't have thought that I missed it.


	26. Chapter 26

Sam hadn't trusted me as much as I trusted him. I knew I shouldn't but I felt betrayed. My whole life, I'd lived in fear of people knowing what I was but I had told him. I had made a big production of it but he had just smiled and simply said, "We all have our quirks." At the time it made me feel different, not defective. He hadn't been talking about me though. It was now painfully clear that he had been talking about himself.

After learning about the existence of vampires, I knew that the truth had consequences for all. Vampires of all walks even Wildlings would kill to protect their secrecy. I didn't know what rules bound Sam. I couldn't just expect him to risk it all because I had. The only person that would have been affected by the consequences if he had decided to go blab was me. The same wasn't true for him. Who knew? If he had told me what he was, I might have been forced to marry him or worse. While my feelings were hurt, I understood. Sam was my friend and he had never given me a reason to doubt him before.

I was willing to give Sam the benefit of the doubt. There had to be some reason why he hadn't told me about him. It was easy to say that I would have understood and been accepting, now that I knew about vampires, now that I was married to one. I was open but I don't think I knew what I would have done if he had told me that he could turn into animals.

The night was quiet enough that I could hear the occasional snarl. I tried to find Sam's unique mind through the throng of Two Natured that were littered all around the house but I got nothing. They were all the same. I couldn't single out my best friend. It made me feel like I'd never really known him, not really.

It was nerve wrecking to just sit there and wait when all I wanted to do was go run outside and talk to Sam. Another howl blared through the night and the noise carried as it was picked up by several other Werewolves. With every new howl, it got louder. They were getting closer. I gripped Eric's hand. He smiled but let me keep it though I was sure I was crushing his fingers.

"I wish you could hear their thoughts." He murmured. "They move as one; in body and in mind but it is not at all choreographed and they use no words. The synergy is quite beautiful."

Only Eric, I thought with an eye roll.

"Can you maybe try to be less impressed by the people that want to kill you please?" I asked.

"If I managed to do this, would you stop worrying?"

"Nope."

This situation was bad. It was taking everything I had to stay where I was and not charge outside to make things right with Sam right this instant. Eric looked at me for a moment and it was curious.

"You are stubborn."

"Yup."

He kissed me and despite my worry and the goings on around us, I couldn't help but kiss him back. I hadn't meant for things to get heavy but before I knew it.

"We should stop." He groaned, as I pulled his shirt over his head.

"Yeah, we should." I replied.

I was in his lap and his hands were all over my body. We were both lying. The whole goddamn world could have been on fire and it wouldn't have mattered. The sound of my doorbell intruded on the moment.

The Enforcer of the Leclerq coven had finally arrived. Eric growled. It was a noise of frustration and unspent desire. When he pulled away I let him go reluctantly. He dressed and headed out and when I was descent again, I joined him.

Where the vampires at the airport looked like soldiers, the Enforcer looked more like an accountant. He was slight in stature and had a cereal bowl haircut with a clip on tie. It appeared that he and Eric were having a conversation but he was at the bottom of the stairs.

"Sam, this is stupid." I called, stepping out onto the porch. "Can we just talk, please?"

This was beyond ridiculous. I looked out into the night expecting him to step forward but he didn't. I continued standing there, like a fool, hoping.

"The Alpha states that The Long Tooth pack had prior claim to the hum—your wife by way of the Shifter, one, Samuel Merlotte. By his testimony, Samuel insists that Sookie Stackhouse was his and had been for years. They say you trespassed on these lands a week prior and poached her."

Eric looked back at me as if I had some clue what the hell this stranger was talking about. I didn't. None of this made one lick of sense to me. I wasn't anything to Sam but his friend and most reliable waitress. If that was what he was basing any 'prior claim' on he was out of his mind. I didn't even know what he was until Eric had told me.

"Last I checked, I wasn't anybody's property or Sam's anything else neither." I snapped. "I worked at the bar along with a handful of other waitresses."

He was also my friend at least I thought he was.

Although, I was the one that was speaking, The Enforcer looked to Eric, as if he expected him to do something about my ire.

"The hour is late." Eric said. "My wife and will take our leave now. Anything further would require a formal complaint."

That was a threat because the Enforcer went stiff as a board. Eric didn't await a response. He took hold of my hand and pulled me back inside with him. I continued to search the night for Sam but I saw nothing. Eric closed the door and even before the events began to really register to my senses, they left. The many fuzzy minds were moving farther and farther away from the house. I guess I wasn't worth a conversation to Sam.

Unlike the row I'd had with Jason, this interaction didn't leave me in tears. It didn't cut me so deeply that I felt it would break me. There was no shame. I was just tired. I wanted to go back to sleep but when I laid down in bed, Eric didn't follow. He let me lay my head in his chest but even with all the outward signs of ease I saw, I didn't feel an ounce of it.

"It's okay." I said. "All you did was watch me sleep and touched my face. That was what woke me."

I would never admit it to him because I remembered the state in which he'd awoken. He hadn't been himself. That was one reason. The other was that I didn't want him to know how badly I needed him.

"I know." He said.

"Really?"

He moved his head in that half shake and half nod motion that to me was now synonymous with 'Kinda sorta but not really.'

"I could see myself. I still had no control but I felt it on some level I knew that I was with you." He explained. "It made it less…"

"Disorienting?" I supplied.

"Terrifying." He said. "I was not afraid because I knew you were there."

"So what's eating you?" I wondered. As soon as the question passed my lips, I knew I needed to rephrase it. "What's wrong?"

He hesitated and I knew that he was thinking about mincing his words. I glared and he sighed.

"The Shifter, Sam; you care for him." Eric said. "He cares for you also, greatly in fact."

It wasn't really a question and a good thing too because I didn't know what to say to that. It could be my imagination but his words sounded somewhat accusatory.

"You knew this, did you not?"

It felt like so long ago that I'd been hoping that Sam would make a move. My crush had been burning inside for so long. All I'd been able to get from him were the concern in our age difference. Now the infatuation felt like nothing but what it was; guileless. There was still the idea of him being perfect even after everything I'd learned moments ago. I didn't have perfect with Eric and I didn't want perfect either.

"Yes. We care about each other. We're friends." I said. "I wanted…I'd hoped for more but that never happened. If he felt anything more for me, he never told me and I never saw it in his mind and he never showed it any other way."

Eric didn't reply but he didn't have to. He relaxed under me and before long I was dead to the world.

The next morning I wanted to go down to the bar and talk to Sam but I wanted to give him a day to calm down. Instead I decided to begin training Eric. Somehow thinking of doing this made it feel like I had begun the clock on our goodbye. That was the inevitable end that I didn't want to think about and that we hadn't talked about. It hurt but keeping him here by not fulfilling my end of the bargain was wrong.

When Earl the mechanic came to tow my car, Eric went out. As with most things that were modern, it fascinated him. He asked questions and like everyone that had encountered him the old mechanic wasn't immune to his pretty face. What got to me was the way Earl was patient as he explained what he thought was wrong with the car and what he thought he could do about it.

"Figures," I grumbled.

Any time I'd dared to ask Earl what he was doing to my car, he thought it a task as impossible as teaching a fish to climb a tree. He didn't care that Eric had no idea what a gasket was. Hell! Even I knew that. I wasn't sure if I should angry that Eric was getting treated better because he male or because he was beautiful.

I wish I could hear the conversation but I saw Earl almost drool when Eric gestured to the car that I'd insisted on parking at the back of the house. At that point the mechanic began having almost orgasmic thoughts about the vehicle.

"What in Sam hill does she want that lemon rust bucket for?" he exclaimed.

Et tu, Earl?

My mechanic had sold me that car when I was eighteen and serviced it with confidence since. One look at something new and shiny, he had turned coat. It seemed like one could not trust one's cat, coworkers or mechanics around their vampire spouse.

"I can barely keep that clunker running. Even the junkyards don't carry its parts no more."

For no reason I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment something I never felt over the little I could afford myself. I loved my car since the moment I set eyes on it. No one wanted it but it was all I could afford and it made me love it more. I'd never been ashamed of it, not even its heinous lemony and rust color.

"It has great sentimental value to her, I think." I almost melted where I stood. "Please, do your best."

Eric and Earl hung out in the yard; mostly Earl was making Eric pop the hood of his car so that he could satisfy his voyeuristic inclinations with the engine. By the time Eric came back in I was ready to begin our first training session. It would require people and if I was honest I wasn't ready to face them. Being alone with him was starting to feel as natural as breathing. That wasn't what he needed.

I drove to just the cusp of town and parked. I had been thinking about the best way to teach something that was intangible and often impossible to put into words. So far, I hadn't come up with much. The only way that came to mind was the most direct. I could only teach him in the way I learned. It would be unpleasant but I thought it would be effective and expedient. I needed that too even though it meant parting with him


	27. Chapter 27

"First order of business, we have to understand the way your telepathy moves, the way it sees, hears and reacts to the world all around." I began. "So what does yours feel like?"

He thought about it for a moment before replying, "Like an elastic band, it stretches to encompass all in its vicinity. The capacity is unknown but it is not limitless. It can break."

I won't let it. I promised silently holding his hand.

"Elastic is good. Mine was like rain, the thoughts just kept falling and falling and I didn't know how to hide."

I hadn't meant to whine and I didn't think I did but emotion shone in his eyes. "If you survived it as a child with no aid, it would shame me to fail with your guidance."

I smiled at him feeling something about telepathy I'd never felt before, pride and purpose. When I made that peace with myself I told him the words he no doubt didn't want to hear.

"Let go."

Eric took a few minutes to gear himself up for the separation and the second he parted with his solace I knew it. He was the Eric that had attacked me back in the Wild. His face was a smooth mask, his eyes listless and his posture stiff. This was the face he had worn for countless centuries to give the air of ease. So sad, I wanted to reach out and hold his hand so badly but I didn't. I wouldn't be helping him or myself for that matter.

"Can you find me?" I asked.

His posture was ramrod straight and his jaw was clenched but he spoke through the strain of it.

"Yes."

"Let me go." I instructed. "I'm only a temporary fix…a band aid instead of a cure. You need the cure."

"Yes, I do." He agreed.

I had been saying those words to us both. Whatever had happened already had to stay in the past because this was temporary. Again he nodded but this time there was a fierce look of determination to him. We were on the same page then.

We did it over and over. He would break from the protection my mind offered and try to feel his own ability. While I knew he was hurting he just kept trying. We sat there for hours. It was so weird to sit there for so long with another person without conversation. Yet Eric and I had only spoken a hand full of times.

When the mental barrage got too much for him Eric latched his mind unto mine for a break. During those interims he didn't say shit. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his fists. I moved from seating across from him to kneeling at his back. Touching him was a bad idea but it seemed cruel not to try to help. With my hands on either side of his neck I thought as loudly as loudly as possible knowing he would only hear a void.

"Ugh…that feels incredible. Don't stop." He all but moaned.

It wasn't sexual. I knew it wasn't but his words had been so much like mine when…I halted the thoughts.

My help during his breaks helped him last longer but I felt his frustration growing as he continued to fail. I didn't know what to say to encourage him. Honestly I didn't want to. I couldn't watch him suffer anymore. It was well after lunch when I called it quits. It told me much about his state of mind that he didn't argue.

Instead of going home, we drove to into Monroe to the Baskin Robins. When all else failed, eat ice cream was my motto. Eric had a sundae but he was less chatty to the people around us. Instead of making me feel like I had him to myself it made me feel bad.

"It is only the first day." I said. "We have time."

"Yes." He agreed.

"Maybe I can think of a different approach or something…it's not like I've ever trained anyone before. My method could be the problem."

"It is not. I can see what I am to do…I am simply failing at the task."

Clearly he had had enough encouragement so I left him alone. I had my own issues. During the drive back Eric was fiddling with the Satellite radio of the sports car. He was coding presets and audio controls. It gave him something to focus other than his failure so I didn't complain. When we got back home, I felt he still needed space and I let him be but he stayed close even though he was not in the best of moods.

"I want to be close to you although I am very poor company." He told me, apologetically.

I smiled at him. It was honest and if nothing else Eric was that. I had spent a whole day with Jorah, this was nothing.

"Sure, thing Sweetheart."

While he was still taking his first day of training pretty hard, I still found that I liked having him close to me too. It took a while but I was able to get a smile out of him

At breakfast the next morning, I brought up the subject of Sam. The way everything had gone down with him was still weighing heavily on me. I hoped that after a day to cool off, we could talk things out now. I wanted to explain to him that I didn't just take off. I hoped that it would make the difference. I hoped that it would be the easy part. What I thought would be difficult were the rules that bound him as a Shifter. I didn't know what they were. I asked Eric and despite his extensive knowledge on the species he didn't know either.

"I am not sure. The rules differ from one pack to another pack." Eric told me. "Why do you ask?"

"I was planning on going to see Sam." I told him. "I wanted to know how best to handle it."

There was a pause. It was rather heavy and lengthy. Eric's eyes were all but drilling holes in my forehead. Obviously, he was trying to read my mind. It was clear when he found nothing. He frowned and his eyes focused on my face as a whole.

"Because he is your employer?" he asked. "And you wish to continue your employ in his tavern?"

"No. He's my friend." I corrected. "I hate the way we left things. He wasn't himself the other night. I know that today will be different."

"It will be. Last night the moon was full. Two Natured are considerably calmer during those first days after. It will also be best if I do not accompany you. You should also wash my scent from your body."

I knew that Eric wasn't happy but he told me what he knew. I showered and quickly dressed. I wanted to get time to talk things through with Sam before the bar opened. Eric was watching me from the comfort of the den. He was seated in the same sofa we had made love in last night. He was topless and still tussled in an impeccable kind of way.

"It is worth reminding him that you are Wildling." Eric said. "If nothing else, it will ensure both of your safety in the event that tempers run high."

"I'll be back in a bit." I told him. "Then we can go out and train some more."

He smiled and nodded but I saw the furrow in his brow.

I was nervous during the entire drive. It was so strange. I'd been working at Merlotte's for five years now. I had made this same drive five days a week, sometimes more. That thought didn't help calm my nerves. All I could think about were the bare naked truths that we both now knew about each other. Our relationship was forever changed but I only hoped that it wasn't damaged irrevocably.

Once the bar came into view, I thought about turning around and going home. My troubles would keep for another day. Giving Sam one more day could only make things easier when I came back tomorrow. The idea was attractive but I decided against it. Sam was my friend. He had gone through so much trouble searching for me after I'd suddenly vanished.

If the tables were turned, I wouldn't want to be left wondering, especially if my human friend was married to a vampire. That was what got me the rest of the way. What got me out of the car was the sight of Sam working on his truck. The image also made me more optimistic. He looked like the man I had known for years, much like Eric was just a man to me.

Sam must have heard my approach but he didn't show it. He wouldn't even look at me. He did however begin twisting his wrench more aggressively

"You try calling Earl?" I asked.

I got response.

It irritated me but I pushed it aside and kept trying. Mostly I prattled on about how my car was also with the town mechanic and how Earl probably hated my clunker at the moment. When that didn't get a response I moved on the goings on in the town. In the short time that I'd been gone, Arlene had managed to fiancé number four.

I knew that I was going to be asked to a bridesmaid and Sam was going to have to host the event. All the while, he pretended as if I wasn't there. I was making an effort, I really was. Meanwhile, someone that I had always known to be kind suddenly wasn't. I hadn't done anything wrong and I felt as though he was punishing me. The worst part was that I didn't know what I had done wrong.

"I didn't just bail you on you!" I snapped. "If you cared to ask, you'd know that."

"I care and that's the problem. I cared so much that I left my bar to Arlene while you were enjoying life in the lap of luxury courtesy of your Leech!"

I recoiled as if he had slapped me. The last two words of Sam's sentence were filled with so much hate. I felt like I was looking at a stranger.

"So it's not the fact that I was missing." I clarified. "It's the fact that I was with a vampire. That's the problem. That's why you're being a fucking asshole to me."

"No." He growled facing me. "It's the fact that none of that is real. I thought of all people you would be able to see that. He's manipulating you; controlling your mind. He's making you feel and think things that aren't real, Sook. There is nothing I can do about that that won't lead to open war. So I need you leave."

I was relieved because nothing could be farther from the truth. Eric couldn't Glamour me. No vampire could tamper with my mind because of my telepathy. I explained that to him. I didn't have to lie to him. He already knew I was a telepath and he was a creature of the supernatural himself. He knew about vampires so I didn't have to protect any secrets. I told him about everything including the Turned Ones that murdered Maudette and how the Raven's had stopped them before they could hurt me. Instead of all that making things easier, it made it worse, so much worse.

"You should have chosen to die." Sam spat. "At least there is dignity in that."

I had to admit that I didn't recognize the man I saw. The expression he wore was violent, visceral. His fists were balled and he was rocking on the balls of his feet. Sam lost it and for the first time since meeting him, I was afraid of him.

"You would rather I was dead than to be married to a vampire." I gasped. "How does that even begin to make any kind of sense? How can you call yourself my friend and say something like that to me? You know me not him. Why does what he is suddenly matter more than years of friendship?"

"I get that you're desperate but you have to know that this is wrong. He feeds off your kind!" Sam yelled. "You told him what you can do didn't you."

I didn't answer but the expression on my face must have was enough. He shook his head as if I was just a poor sucker.

"You're wrong." I retorted. "He's not like that."

My voice shook and even to my own ears, there was no conviction to my words. It was made more obviously by the tears that stung my eyes.

"If you thought that you wouldn't be here." He spat.

"You're my best friend, Sam that's why I'm here." I whispered feeling defeated. "Doesn't that matter more than who I married?"

"You can't be married to a Leech and be someone I consider worth a damn."


	28. Chapter 28

Wanting to be with Eric didn't mean that I was okay with losing everyone else I knew and loved. I'd beat back my nerves and braved an uncomfortable situation in the hopes of making things right with my only friend in Bon Temps. I'd thought he would understand. Unlike Jason, I felt like Sam and I could talk especially because he was a Shifter. Until that moment, when I saw that it wouldn't come, I didn't realize just how much I was banking on his genial disposition. I didn't even get an ounce of…anything akin to kindness.

"The funny thing is that he never told me not to come here. You're the one that's sending me away."

I was raised to have pride and self-respect. I wasn't going to stay where I wasn't wanted. There was no way I was going to beg someone, anyone to be a part of my life. I was clear that I no longer had a job here at Merlotte's. It was just as clear that Sam wanted nothing to do with me, not because I had wronged him but because I loved someone different.

"Tell yourself whatever you want Sookie Stackhouse. At the end of the day you're just a happy meal that he gets to fuck. Whatever you think you know or feel you'll find out just how wrong you are about him."

His words cut me deep. They flayed open insecurities and fears that were deep in my heart. They hurt even more because they were coming from someone that was near and dear to me. Being a lady meant knowing when to display strength through fire and when to show grace in humility. So while I was so mad that I could spit, I walked away with as much dignity as I could muster even though all I wanted to do was cry.

"Goodbye Sam."

I walked back to the car and while I was sure that I would have broken down in tears, I didn't. I drove around aimlessly for a while. I didn't want to go home either. Eric was there and as furious as I was with Sam I didn't want Eric to hate him. I didn't want him to see that the people that cared about didn't care about me. As I drove around, all I could think about was my life.

I had been willing to die to stay here because it was home. Yet the things that made it home hadn't been there for a long time. In the two days since I'd been back home, it felt like I had lost everything else. No, that wasn't entirely true. No one had taken anything from me, rather I'd seen the conditional nature of the attachment others held for me.

Jason wanted me not to shame him anymore than I had through my life as the "Freak" in town. Sam, he would have rather I died than foe me to be married and happy with a vampire. He didn't even care that that vampire was kind and caring. It was no different than Arlene remembering we were friends only when she needed a baby sitter.

I'd been willing to die to stay around people that placed qualifications on their acceptance of who I was. When in truth, the only people I would have died to be close were already gone. By the time I got home I didn't know what was keeping me here, tethered to this town that had nothing for me but a cemetery of departed kin and a town full of people who made me feel like a freak. Why did I deserve this? Why did I feel like I had to accept it? I didn't.

I didn't know what I had with Eric and where it would go. It was precarious and there was much that was unsaid and unknown. My marriage to him wasn't ideal but I wanted to be where he was. I was happy with him. I trusted him more than people that I'd known my whole life. The thought put a smile on my face as I rounded the bumpy driveway of my house. Even before I got out of the car, I knew that Eric wasn't home. It was hard to explain. I just felt it. There was a note waiting for me though and it brought a smile to my face.

'My Dearest wife,

I am in the company of Maxine. She came in search of you to organize a sale of baked goods. As you were otherwise engaged, I have gone in your stead.

~Eric'

I could go back out and rescue Eric from Maxine but I didn't. I had faith in his ability to navigate that old gossip. She lived close, closer than the bar. Now that I was home, Eric could find my silence. He would know that I was home. That realization was comforting. There was so much that I wanted him to know now, least of which being that I didn't want to hold him to the terms of our deal anymore. I just wanted him.

I curled up on the couch with one of the books that I had taken from the Justice Hall library. It was one that explained the Blood Laws in great details. Seeing that I planned on returning I wanted to be clear on every single law. I was reading through the sixth Law. It centered on lawful entry.

It was pretty straightforward. There were only two ways to enter the Wildlands; birth/adoption and marriage. There might have been only thirteen laws but the explanations on them were fairly extensive. It documented just about every scenario pertaining to each law and the steps to follow. That was how I saw something that quite literally crushed any hope I had of happily ever after.

I kept reading it over the one over and over, hoping that the ink would magically morph and show me something different. It didn't though. Rather it served as glaring proof of what a fool I had been. Sam had been right. Eric didn't want me. He had needed me and he done everything to insure that I would agree, including pretending to want me.

I had been so wrong. Eric didn't care. He had lied to me. That was why he had wanted to talk to me alone in this very house over a week ago. He wanted to take advantage of the fact that I couldn't read his mind, not appeal to my kindness or share his plight as I'd assumed. I had been so stupid and so very easy.

The truth of it made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to scream and cry but I just sat there helpless and numb. That was how I remained until he walked through the door. He was laughing as he waved goodbye to Hoyt. There was a smile on his face when he faced me. It was a mercy that he noticed the tears that stained my face and the book in my lap. Hurt and betrayed as I felt, I didn't think I would have been able to resist his touch. I felt so broken that I would cling to anything and anyone including the man that hurt me.

"Now that I am a Wilding there is no way for me to stay here. There never was. I do not meet the requirements. Of course, you knew that already didn't you?"

He said nothing but it was there on his face.

"I was never going to get my life back." I accused.

He said nothing.

"Was I?" I yelled.

"No," he replied. "Not in the way I led you to believe."

I didn't know why but I expected him to deny this. Deep down, I felt like I needed him to. I was willingly to believe in him. I wanted to believe him. I needed to. He must have known what he had done. He had broken my trust and lied to me when the only thing I had asked of him was to be honest with me.

"I would have done anything to have the chance to save myself. It was selfish. It was wrong, to abuse trust that you gave me without qualification. I knew it then just as I knew that one day I would have to face this; your hurt and anger." Eric said. "It was wrong but I am not sorry. I cannot be sorry because I love you."

I'd wanted to believe that Eric was different than everyone that I had ever met. I'd wanted to believe that he had wanted me not only needed me. I'd wanted to believe that the love we'd made had been real and not only meant to make me want to stay on as his mental shield. I'd never really let myself realize just how much I'd wanted and hoped for. It all hit me because in that moment I knew that I was never going to get it.

"Was that the lie you were trying to sell me, love?" I snapped. "Make me fall in love with your need for me so that I'll willingly return to the Wild with you?"

"It is not a lie. I love you. I have never been as happy as when I am with you—"

I shook my head and backed away from him. I refused to even entertain the thought. That was how weak and stupid I was, hearing those words, made me want to forget everything his lie meant. I couldn't.

Being in Eric's home and amongst the Wildlings had shown me what true acceptance felt like. In the two days since I'd been back, I saw just how little of that I had at home. It felt like a curse. I knew that I didn't belong in either worlds but I was now trapped in both because of him. Eric had taken my choice away.

"If this is what you call love, keep it." I yelled. "I would rather die!"

I got up and walked away. I didn't trust myself not cry in front of him. Eric took hold of my arm as I walked past him but for the first time since we met, his touch left me feeling cold. I shrugged away and he let me go. I left the house and I walked and walked until I felt like I couldn't walk anymore.

I looked around and found that I'd ended up in my childhood home where my selfish brother lived. That was just as infuriating so I turned around and marched right back home. At least by the time I got there, Eric was gone and I had my house all to myself at least for a little while.

Eric didn't come home that night and despite my anger at his betrayal, I wondered where he was. It only infuriated me more. When I woke up the next morning, he was seated on the side of the bed. He made no moves to join me and I was glad of it.

"I will have to remain here with you but I will leave you to live your life as you wish." Eric said. "That is the closest I can ever get turning my lie into a truth."

"How?" I asked suspiciously. "People here will notice when you don't age."

"Octavia can craft something that will circumvent that." He replied. "I will stay here with you until the end of your days."

My time in the Wild and with Eric might have felt like the sweetest dream but it was just that, a dream. It was time to wake up. With a deep breath I closed the door on that part of my life. The sooner I was able to train him the faster we could enact the distance between us that had always been inevitable.

"Let's get to work then." I said kicking the covers off me.

Breakfast was a silent affair. I had coffee and half a bagel. Eric cooked but I left him alone with his meal. I wanted nothing to do with him other than to fulfill the terms of our agreement. It wasn't awkward like my first day in the Wild. It was worst. It wasn't like anything I'd ever felt. Everything was different now. I knew the truth.

I was seated across from someone that I wanted but didn't trust, and was angry with. All the doubts and insecurities I'd had since the day I laid eyes on him had been real. They had been more real than I could have ever known. I had ignored my fears and silenced my doubts. Without knowing it I had fallen in love in so short a time with so perfect a man. Eric hadn't wanted me. He had only pretended to because he needed me. That hurt more than the goodbye that I thought was looming at the end of our bargain.


	29. Chapter 29

Something good did happen. Sam called me at the end of my first week home and apologized. He offered me my job back and I accepted. It was the first step toward rebuilding a life without Eric. While I worked Eric was spending his free time with Terry Bellefleur of all people.

Terry was the other freak in town though no one dared say a word. His family was prominent and he was a war hero. He was tormented and damaged so to most people that made him as crazy as I was. I've been in his mind and it was a dark painful place but he was a kind person. He had always been sweet to me even before he went off into the army. To date he was the only Bellefleur that thought highly of me. These days he kept to himself and made money doing odd jobs in town. Eric joined him. I knew that my husband wasn't used to being idle or alone.

In the month that followed, I got an exercise in what it felt like to have no peace of mind. Eric was still living at home with me but he stayed in the guest room down the hall, if he came home at all. There were nights when he woke me and I knew that he wasn't himself. I was faced with the warrior that had once terrified me. He didn't anymore.

In those moments, when I knew Eric wasn't himself I felt closer to him. All that he was was bare to me. I knew how much he needed me. On those nights when he didn't come home, I stayed awake wondering where he was, who he was with and what he was doing. Images of him with other women tormented me.

I hated myself for caring either way because I shouldn't. I hated myself for missing him but I couldn't help it. What was worse, that enigmatic pull that his body had over me didn't wane. Every time he looked at me, I felt it like a caress. Every time he walked into the room, it was as if every facet of my being took instant notice. I began avoiding him. Being close to him made me want him and wanting him was the last thing I wanted.

Eric wasn't good for me. His presence in my life wasn't temporary, it was worse. It was forced on the both of us. Once he learned to shield how could he not grow to feel trapped by me? How would I grow not to resent him? It was best to separate everything about ourselves from our common goal; teaching him to shield his mind. That was the only time I spent with him and it was tense to say the least.

In the mornings, after breakfast we went to the same place we had used for our first training session. It became our "spot" to train. He was still struggling with the basics of it but I gave him exercises that he could do on his own. Whether or not they were helping him, I didn't know, he didn't say. Even on days when we trained long and I knew that it was wearing on him he didn't complain.

In those moments I could feel myself getting weak for him. The urge to touch him and soothe the mental strain was harder to fight than anything else. I balled my hands into fists and told myself that numbing the noise wouldn't help him, not in the long run. He had to learn. I wouldn't always be there. Reminding myself that everything between us was transitory helped me abstain.

It was another Friday night at Merlotte's. I was at the tail end of my shift when a very tall, very bald and very menacing looking gentleman walked into the bar. I used the term gentleman for want of a better word and because he was wearing a suit. By his mental signature he was a Shifter or a Were.

If he had grabbed my ass, it would have been less lewd than the eye fuck I received. I was a pro at ignoring unwanted attention. I went on about my closing duties; filling salt and pepper shakers, filling ketchup bottles and turning the chairs onto the tables. Whoever this was, he wasn't here to see me. He was here for Sam. It just sucked because Sam was my ride home. My car was still in the shop and I'd filled my quota on time alone with Eric for the day. I didn't hear Sam come out from the back but suddenly he was in this guy's face.

"What are doing here Quinn?"

The man laughed, clearly unbothered. "You're so touchy." He replied in a teasing tone but there was nothing blasé about his stance. "I just came to check out your digs. Could do with a remodel? Don't you think?"

"Get out." Sam growled.

"I'm just saying that when we take this territory, we'd upgrade this shack. It has real potential."

"We'll see who walks away from the challenge won't we?" Sam hissed. "Until then, get lost. I'm not asking again."

The other man threw his hands up with his smile still on display and did an about face, not before he winked at me. It was nice to know that sleaziness was a personality flaw that only human men had.

"Want to tell me what that was about?" I asked Sam during the drive to my house.

"Can't. Pack business."

I wanted to ask him questions but honestly I was afraid of the answer. Our relationship wasn't as comfortable as it had been but we were working on it. He had explained to me the ugly history between the Two Natured and Vampires. Their warring was as prevalent as the Coven Wars vampires fought.

Vampires had almost wiped Two Natured from existence. In was common practice for vampires to enslave them especially at the pinnacle of the Coven Wars. They were bought and sold like common animals. They were forced to fight in pits for entertainment and used as nothing but guard dogs during the day.

With the amount of brutality the species suffered at the hands of vampires, I suppose the hate was almost instinctive. It was worse because even now, the Two Natured in any state were second class citizens to the vampires that ran it. It made me wonder if there were any Were's in the Outer Wildlands. I didn't even have to question that they were treated better than Sam and his pack.

"You can keep my truck." He said once we got to my house. "I need to run off some steam. Can you come in early tomorrow? Delivery truck will be in around six."

That was a little early but I nodded.

"Sure." I said.

I watched him vanish into the night feeling concern that I could do absolutely nothing about. When I finally turned to head into the house, Eric was in the doorway. He was shirtless and his hair was wet, sticking to his back and chest. I swear he had to be the only person whose hair wasn't affected by humidity.

After a full twelve hour day at the bar, my mental shields had been at full volume. I felt like he had been around but I didn't know that he had been home. His presence hit me harder. Thankfully he didn't catch me staring. His eyes were focused in the direction in which Sam had gone. By the time he looked down at me, I had gotten my expression in check.

"Your friend is troubled." Eric began.

This wasn't the first time that he was trying to make conversation with me. However it was the first time that my interest outweighed my reservations. Be that as it may, I wasn't ready to entertain a full blown conversation with him.

"I know." I retorted. "He told me."

Eric sighed. He had clearly noticed the dig I had taken at him. "How much longer are you going to be angry with me?"

He couldn't be for real. I didn't dignify that with a response. When I tried to brush past him and into the house, he grabbed hold of my arm. Such a gentle touch weakened me right down to my core. It has been so long since his skin touched mine. His scent of sandalwood was so much richer.

The memories of being fully immersed in it flooded my mind. I could remember the taste of it on my lips; when he kissed me or gave me blood. I could almost feel it intoxicating my lungs every time I'd buried my face in his neck. I actual felt my body waver and lean closer to him but then I caught myself.

"I do not understand why you cannot see." He said. "Of anyone in the world, you of all people should understand my reasoning."

That was just it. I did understand and I hated it. Honestly, I wasn't angry with my husband anymore for lying to me. Looking back I wasn't sure if I could have refused to marry him after finding out that he was a telepath. I understood that particular version of Hell all too well to leave him suffering alone in it. Even if he had told me that I would never get my life back, I would have helped him anyway.

Instead he had done the one thing that my telepathy had protected me from my entire life, he had taken advantage of my kindness. He had abused my trust. I had given him both and so much more of me. I understood his desperation in that moment but he'd had plenty of chances to come clean with me and he hadn't.

Oddly, that wasn't what hurt the most. I wanted to be with someone I couldn't read and in a way I got that wish. I've wished to be normal so much that I knew that that would happen if I couldn't read the minds of those around me. That wasn't what hurt. Heck, it wasn't even the fact that Eric had refused to apologize. No.

Eric had proven to me in the worse way what a town full of people had been thinking about me since I was a child. That, no one wanted me; they only had their own misguided uses for me. I had given him the power to hurt me and he had. He had told me he loved me and I knew for a fact that he didn't. He might have confused his need for love but I never would. He couldn't love me, not if he could so easily lie to me. Really what did he know about me anyway? When I subtracted telepathy from our relationship, what was left? Nothing.

During the first week, I'd been ensconced in the Wild. I hadn't had any time to process the goings on around me. I had been fully immersed in an entirely different way of life that I had shared with him. It really had been a dream and now that was gone too. Sex and the undivided attention of the first man that paid me any mind and I'd been ready to give up everything. I thought I'd been in love. It wasn't love. I refused to believe that I was that stupid.

"It's not about me understanding." I said. "It's about trust and you no longer have mine."

He nodded.

"You are Wildling. You cannot involve yourself in whatever conflict plagues your friend."

"I know."

I knew that, but having him remind me only annoyed me. I shrugged out from under his hold and walked into the house. This time he didn't stop me. He also didn't follow me. Long after I had settled into bed, he hadn't returned. Like every other night when he didn't come home, I couldn't help but wonder about him. Tonight though, my mind wondered to a different time, when being close to him had felt as natural as breathing. It felt like so long ago. I couldn't help missing him any more than I could help the tears that rolled down into my ears.

Getting to the bar the next day was difficult. I'd slept three hours and I was missing every minute of sleep that I should have had. Ignoring the lack of vampire presence in the house, I grabbed a cup of coffee and went on about my day. This was my life now. It was the life I wanted. I couldn't allow Eric or anyone else dictate my happiness.

The drive to the bar was short but I barely noticed it with my thoughts in a snarl. That was why it took me longer than it should to notice the vast abundance of fuzzy minds that surrounded the bar. I knew that I should turn around. I had told Eric that I would. I was Wildling and I should avoid conflict at all costs but Sam was my friend. He was in trouble and it felt wrong to just leave him.


	30. Chapter 30

I was in the truck trying to decide what to do when the bald man from the bar came crashing into Sam's truck. It felt like I'd been sideswiped with a freight train. Sam's truck spun despite being idle. I screamed but the bald Were wiped the blood from his mouth with a vicious smile. Then with a terrifying howl, his human form fell away.

Moments later a massive tiger had taken his place. He wasn't alone. It seemed as though I had wandered into a full out two natured brawl. The tiger slamming into the truck had rendered the engine useless. It had warped the driver's side door. The bulk of the fighting was happening on the other side of the truck. I was ready to take my chances when a vampire appeared in front of me.

"You are safe."

He then proceeded to twist the driver's side door off the truck as if it was the top of a beer can. He lifted me out of the car as if I was made of glass and passed me to someone else behind him and then more vampires joined the fight with a vengeance. Before I knew what was happening it was over.

The two natures that could move were yoked up by the neck. The ones that couldn't…I didn't want to look at them. They were sprawled out in the dirt in juxtapositions that could only mean death. I searched for Sam but I couldn't find him amongst so many others like him.

"We warned you, all of you to halt your conflict. We warned you under pain of war with our Queen that there was to be no manner of violence within five hundred miles of the Wilding's in the area."

The speaker was the vampire Enforcer from the Leclerq coven. Much like the first time I'd seen him, he was still dressed like an accountant. Except the light of day allowed me see that his outfit meant jack shit. This guy was deadly as all hell.

"But if it is war that you desire…"

A wolf morphed into a man and it was Sam. He was a bit too naked for my liking but he was alive. He was bruised and bloody but okay. My heart lifted.

"We told them." Sam said. "The Tiger and his people did not listen."

What? No, that wasn't true.

I looked at Sam and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Of everything I'd heard of his exchange with the bald shifter, that hadn't come up. In fact, he had mentioned the challenge. He knew…

"He wanted territory and didn't care about what it would cost us all." Sam said. "Sookie was just coming to return my truck and he attacked her."

The tiger roared and charged toward Sam but he never made it. The Enforcer intercepted him midair. All I heard was a sickening crunch followed by a high pitched yelp and then there was a loud thump of a body hitting the ground. It wasn't the first time I would hear that sickening noise this morning nor the last. I clasped my hands over my ears to keep out the noise of violence, as death unfurled itself all about me. It wasn't enough. With my sixth sense, I felt every single fuzzy mind that the vampires wiped from existence no matter how badly I didn't want to. What was even more sickening was the fact that I felt relief that Sam and his pack were speared.

"Are you well?" The Enforcer asked coming over to me, with his hands in the air.

I nodded weekly but I shrank back to avoid his touch. There was blood on his hands and I didn't think he noticed but I couldn't let him touch me with it. I would fall apart and I didn't think I would ever be able to put myself together again.

"I want to go home." I said. "Can you give me a ride, please?"

He smiled and he looked so amicable that I couldn't believe that I had witnessed him do murder mere moments ago.

"Of course, your every wish is our command."

He waved a hand and someone handed him a wet nap. He wiped his hands and face of the blood. Then he escorted me to a car. It was a Prius. Idly I wondered if it was his. It couldn't be. The mere image of a coldblooded murderer owning an electric car was laughable. However it was because I was either in shock or because I was beside myself. Whatever the reason, I laughed. Just as suddenly I burst into tears.

The car came to a screeching halt.

"Are you hurt?" The Enforcer asked me.

I tried to nod but I couldn't quite manage that but it didn't matter. He wasn't looking at me. He had already had his phone in hand and I didn't know he had called him but a moment later Eric was opening the door on my side. I felt…so many different things that I truly didn't know where to begin.

"We arrived in time." The Enforcer said. "She is unharmed."

Eric helped me out of the car and gave me a once over but said nothing. He wrapped in his arms and in this moment I took the comfort because it helped me feel more like me. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I was home. I was seated at the kitchen table and Eric was pushing a cup of water into my shaky hands. I accepted the offering but all I could do was hold it. It was a feat considering how badly my hands were shaking.

"You should not have been there." Eric said. "I do not understand why you were there."

I couldn't think past what I had witnessed, what I had been a party to. It forced the truth to come tumbling from my lips unchecked.

"I wanted to help Sam." I said.

Sam had known that. He had banked on it. In my heart I knew that that was why he had given me my job back. All his hatred of vampires hadn't stopped him from using them to his end. Worst yet, he had used my status as a Wildling to kill opposition to his pack. Being the fool I was I had helped him.

Speaking out and telling that truth in the presence of the vampire Enforcer would have meant death for him. No matter how much I hated what he had done I couldn't say anything. I knew that it would mean his life. I'd saved him but it was the last thing I would ever do for him. It was the last contact. Unlike when I had said goodbye to him when we had fought, this one was final. He had used me to take life. There was no coming back from that.

I risked a glance at Eric expecting his understanding. In the month that had passed, I'd been all but ignoring him but he had been trying his best to bridge the gap with kindness. Not once had it waned, until now. His acceptance was something that I had taken for granted, but when I looked at him, I saw nothing of the vampire I knew.

"You told me you understood. You knew what involving yourself meant." He hissed. "Yet, you knowingly disregarded the Blood Laws."

For no other reason than feeling like the fool, I responded in kind. I didn't have to take this from him. He had told me a worst lie.

"You made me feel like you wouldn't lie to me." I snapped. "Yet here we are. So don't give me that shit!"

"You wanted to lie to me." He asked as if confused. "That is why you did this? You wanted to get…even?"

No. That wasn't why. Also I didn't have to explain anything to him.

"I had my reasons, same as you." I retorted.

"Please, explain them to me because as angry as you are with me, I still regret nothing. I would do it again, can you say the same."

I said nothing and stared at him defiantly. His gaze didn't waver and he glared and I knew when he saw my guilt. His somewhat thoughtful expression became one of thinly veiled fury.

"Do you have any idea what you could have done?" He asked. "Do you even care?"

"No, I don't care that I would have violated The Blood Laws. I don't care that I would have been Wildling no more. That is what I want. I never wanted anything do with you in the first place—"

"It wouldn't have been you!" He shouted.

I flinched.

I didn't think…I'd never thought Eric yelled. To be on the receiving end of it shocked me more than anything I'd experienced today.

"Forgive me." He said. "I should not shout."

He ran both hands roughly through his hair, pulling at the strands. It was clearly a sign of duress but I didn't know what to do. He rocked in place for a few beats with his fists balled.

"It wouldn't have been you." He repeated. "Those who marry into the Wild are given a sponsor for two reasons. The first, is to protect their choice in becoming Wildling. The other is to link them to the Blood Laws by proxy. Our laws were read to you the night we married and you have read them but you are not yet bound by them. Until you are, Lucky is responsible."

It didn't take me long to figure out what he was getting at. I felt cold and sick, sick right down to my stomach even more so than I had witnessing the aftermath of Sam's manipulations.

"Ordinarily no sponsor would ever allow their charge from their sight but I begged it of him so I could fulfill my end of our bargain."

"I—"

He cut me off with a low and furious growl.

"It would have been Lucky who would have been Wildling no more had you made war today. It is Lucky who would have been exiled from home and his wife and his daughter, not you and you do not care!"

"I didn't—"

I waved a hand as if he didn't even want to hear the sound of my voice, as if it was the last thing in the world he needed at the moment.

"I know that I have wronged you." Eric said. "I know not how to make it right but I will take whatever punishment that my wrong entails but you will not endanger any Wildling or any of my Ravens. I will not allow this, no at any cost, not ever."

I had expected his understanding because it had come so easily before but this time it wasn't. He turned away from me and stalked out the door. I felt like I had done something that my silence, my anger and my distance hadn't. I had finally succeeded in pushing him away. I felt like I had really lost him. No matter how much I had been prepping myself for his absence, this hurt. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I cried myself to sleep that night. When my tears had dried, I was still alone in the house.

It was a testament to how angry Eric was with me. Word was spreading through town that he wasn't living at home with me anymore. The talk was so abundant that Maxine had come to confirm. I told her Eric and I were just fighting over me working for Sam. Surprisingly that little bit of truth seemed to make her genuinely sad. Maxine liked Eric and I knew it had nothing to do with glamour or his good looks. During the time he had spent with her he had asked about me nonstop to the point that Maxine had ran out of things to say. Unable to help myself at the thoughts in her mind I cried in her presence. Instead of hearing about our conversation around town in the minds of every one the next day, she had kept it to herself. To have a conversation with her remain private was one for the record books.

Jason came to call. By his level of concern you wouldn't have known that he had been so appalled that I had married Eric in the first place. In usual selfish Jason fashion he thought of himself first. My untimely separation from a man that was popular in town would be worse than my being an unwed slut.

"What'd you do?" My brother asked.

He was correct in thinking that I had done something wrong. In this instance I had. It was none of his damned business all the same and I told him so.

"Dawn's over there a whole lot." Jason told me.

"That's none of my business." I lied but really I was choking on my emotions, the most of which were regret and jealousy.

"It should be. Cause she ain't over there half neked to bring Terry lunch and dinner, I'd tell you that." Jason said. "She ain't the only one neither, just drove past em', that husband of yours is tiling the Bellefleur house, with no damn shirt on."

His interest also had much to do with the fact that he had carried a torch for Dawn for years. She hadn't given him the time of day and she was quite literally the only girl in town that he wanted that he couldn't have. I was sure that seeing Dawn shamelessly chase his brother in-law didn't sit well with Jason's ego. He was trying to use me to get what he wanted and I was done being used and lied to. I didn't care. My priority was getting my life to as close to normal as possible.

You don't care, Sookie.

You do not care.

I was repeating the chant to myself as I got in his truck and drove over there.


	31. Chapter 31

Sure enough as I turned the bend onto the old Bellefleur manor house, I saw Eric with Terry. As my brother had informed me Dawn was there and she was indeed half naked. Granted it was hot but not hot enough for her to be in a bikini and what were the high heels for? I wasn't happy to see her there but I could barely take my eyes off Eric.

I watched him, much like everyone else who had driven past but unlike everyone else, he was angry with me. I was sorry but I didn't think Eric was willing to listen to me. For someone like him who protected fiercely, I knew what I had done was unforgiveable. Had I known what my actions would have meant for Lucky, I wouldn't have gotten out of the car. I didn't think he would believe me. Unlike him, I was sorry for what I'd done and if I could go back and change it I would have. I wouldn't have taken my job back. I wouldn't ever have come back home.

Instead of wallowing, I returned to my job search. When the door opened later than night I hoped that it was Eric but it was Aiko and he wasn't alone. With him were three other Elites; Pamela, Tai and Rane all of them were in uniform. Regardless of my uncertainties at the moment where Eric was concerned I knew that I had to give him up. Duty called.

"We are sorry to pull him away from you, Lady Raven." Tai said.

I smiled tightly. "I understand," I replied and that was nothing but the truth. I really did understand. Understanding didn't quell the knot of anxiety that suddenly welled up in my gut.

I went to the phone and called Caroline Bellefleur and asked for Eric but it was as if he had felt the presence of the other Elite. He arrived home before she could tell me that he was no longer over at her place. Between one blink and the next, the casually dressed man vanished. In his place was Lord Raven in full uniform.

"Where to?" he asked.

"Home." Aiko said. "The McLaren's have sent emissaries to our shores. They beg an audience with the Lord Raven."

I was confused from what Jorah had told me the McLaren's were the oldest of the Turned Ones. They were old enough and far removed from the influence of their Makers to have wills of their own but they were bad news. They were also smart of enough to steer clear of the Wildlands. Why were they sending emissaries? For that matter why did they seem intent to hear them out?

The question must have shown on my face.

"More often than not, The Brother's McLaren know what Coven's will be attacked by my sister and her zealots." Eric answered. "They give us this information in the hopes of garnering our favor. Despite knowing that that will never happen they offer it to us still. We share the information anonymously to the Coven's involved and sometimes it saves lives."

I wished I could tell him how little I cared about the particulars of what he was about to do.

"So you'll be okay?"

He stopped and the way he looked at me, it was as if my concern shocked him. He still couldn't shield but there was no hesitation in the manner in which he geared up. Of course I would be concerned. It was true that I had been trying to punish him and push him away for lying to me. I had made it clear that I didn't want to be Wildling or his wife but that didn't mean that I didn't care about Wildlings. It didn't mean that I didn't care about him.

Eric nodded. "I hope to return shortly. Tell Terry for me."

"Sure."

It was probably the nicest I'd been to him in weeks. I watched Eric leave with the other Elite and the silence in the house felt even more profound. He was beyond my protection.

Terry came looking for Eric a little after dinner. I made excuses and told him Eric had to go into the city for work.

"Grams' is sorry that she can't pay em'." Terry said.

Say whatever you wanted about small town folk, we had pride. Caroline Bellefleur might not be able to pay money but she wasn't about to take a hand out. She had sent Terry to deliver her famous double chocolate cake.

"He's happy to do it." I said.

Terry believed me but from his thoughts I knew that he was the only one. Of course his cousins, Andy and Portia thought that Eric not coming to dinner was my fault somehow. They thought that I was keeping my husband away from them because of what they thought of me. That was far from the truth but even if it wasn't, who could blame me?

I accepted the offering and invited Terry in but he declined.

"I got myself an early day but thanks all the same." He replied. "You have yourself a goodnight Sookie."

"You too, Terry."

I sat in the kitchen waiting for Eric to come home but he didn't. All I could fathom was that something horrible had happened. I knew that my fear was getting the better of me but I couldn't help it. With every minute that passed my fears grew stronger. By the time the sun was coming up, I felt unable to think beyond my worst nightmares. In them, Eric was wounded and trapped by his inability to see beyond the thoughts that surrounded him. He was looking for me and I wasn't there.

I ate a good portion of the cake while I waited. I fell asleep at the table waiting. When I woke up the sun was almost in the middle of the day and Eric still hadn't returned. I did get another visitor, Dawn. The sight of her immediately brought forth something ugly and mean. It was so strange because I never disliked her.

In all my years, I didn't think I'd ever had an ill thought about Dawn until recently. Seeing her parade herself in the hopes of gaining Eric's attention had made me dislike her a great deal. I masked that because Dawn wasn't alone. She had brought with her both of Arlene's kids. It was obvious that she had been babysitting and it was obvious from her thoughts that she had only offered to do so just so she could come here, to my house, in search of my husband.

I knew that I had no right to the possessiveness and jealously that I felt burning a hole in my chest. I knew that but I couldn't help it. Of all the men that Dawn could have she wanted mine and she was smiling in my face in the hopes of getting him. It wasn't like her or rather how I'd known her to be. Dawn was one of the few people in town that I thought highly of because she seldom thought things that she wouldn't say or did things that she wanted to hide. It appeared that going after what I had was the exception.

"Eric's not here," was the greeting I gave her.

She stopped then started with a fake laugh. "That's great!" she said. "You can watch these two while their momma works. It's been hard for her and all of us for having to work all those extra shifts," since you left. She didn't say it. She wasn't even thinking it but she made sure it was palpable in her sentence.

It infuriated me to know that she was trying to manipulate me. It was worse because I saw why. Worst yet was the fact that I couldn't say a thing about it, not unless I wanted to expose vampires and Shifters and my own sixth sense. It made me want to scream but I took the kids from her. It wasn't as if I had a choice. Well, I did but I knew that Dawn had no problem dumping them off at home to be alone or worse with Arlene's newest Mr. Right Now.

Having to babysit pulled me from my worry and waiting. It also made me think of Jorah and how he was coping. With every minute that passed, I couldn't help but wonder. He had said that he wouldn't take long. Something had happened and I had no idea what. For all I knew I had gotten what I had wanted since the day we met, I could have my life back if was he no more. The thought of Eric being no longer made panic set in, the likes of which I'd never felt in my entire life.

I didn't know that I was just standing there in the doorway, shaking with tears falling down my face until I heard the alarm in the children's minds.

"I'm sorry." I said, going over to take both their hands. "I'm not feeling too hot. My tummy feels awful."

That seemed to pacify them. They were even quiet for a whole half hour. I went back into the room and dug through the many things in the bag that Horus had forced me to take as I left New York. I found the phone. Thankfully it had already been set up and the number to the "Den" in the Outer Wild was programmed into it. I dialed it half expecting no one to answer but afraid that someone would.

"This is Raven Tariff, how may I be of service?"

"Hi, my name is Sookie." I said. "I was looking for Eric."

"Hello, Sookie. Is Eric missing? When last was he seen?"

I suddenly felt silly for panicking and calling. Obviously if anything had happened Lucky would be here to tell me. I rushed off the phone, shutting it down and returning it into the pack I'd dug it out of. I went back to join the kids. Lisa was already getting on her big brothers nerves. I decide to take both kids out of the house for some fresh air. If I was being honest I needed it too.

We were out in the yard when the voids suddenly appeared. There had to be about a hundred of them. They had literally come out nowhere. They lined the woods around the home. The only void I could make out was Lucky. He was in uniform and he looked terrifying. It wasn't until he saw my confused expression did he drop his aggressive stance.

The children played just on the edge of the woods. They noticed nothing that was happening around them. Lucky's uniform fell away and he came to join us. He wasn't alone; Horus or Sirus were at his heel. It was definitely Sirus. He looked annoyed but there was still that twinkle in his eye that was so like his mother's. This was going to be unpleasant for me, I just knew it.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I would ask you the same." Lucky replied.

"Yeah, Mrs. Reports-a-missing-person-and-just-hangs-up," Sirus said. "What gives?"

"Shit!" I exclaimed.

"Yuuupp…" he agreed with a laugh.

"Shiitttt!" I repeated.

"Yeah, pretty much." He said with a laugh. "As far as pranks go this needs a lot of work."

"I'm sorry." I admitted.

"Sirus, end the hunt." Lucky said, waving off my apology.

Sirus nodded and did an about face.

"Word of advice," he called. "You can't make prank calls from your own cellphone." Sirius said.

"Stop being an ass to me, or I will tell your father on you." I snapped.

Jorah would let him have it too. We both knew that.

"Sorry, Lady Raven."

I smiled because he didn't look it, not for one second but I would take it.

Sirus left. Then one by one the void minds that appeared out of nowhere vanished with him. The feeling resonating through me should be relief but it wasn't. All the people that I had met in the Wild occupied my mind even though I knew that I would never see them again. At this point, it had nothing to do with Eric being my husband and my one and only lover. It wasn't about Sam being nothing like I thought. It wasn't about my life here in Bon Temps or the legacy that I had inherited. The feeling of longing that I felt as Sirus walked away was utterly and truly centered on me. He would be going back to a place, the only place where I'd been free to be me. I couldn't follow. I felt like I could never go back.


	32. Chapter 32

I swallowed back tears at my bleak thoughts just as both of Arlene's kids finally noticed that I was no longer alone. They were now watching me curiously. They already thought I was acting weird. I waved them over. It was best to make introductions.

"This is Lucky." I said. "He's friends with my husband, Eric."

"How come he got long hair like a girl too?" Colby asked. "Is he a sissy?"

"No…" I began but I didn't quite know how to continue.

"Where I come from I am soldier like her husband." Lucky explained for me. "We only cut our hair when other soldiers die."

"I like it." Lisa comment, "It's pretty."

"Why thank you." Lucky replied with a smile.

Satisfied, both children went back to their games. Lucky seemed to be staring at me as if looking through a microscope. I could barely look him in the eye. For a long time, he didn't speak and I didn't know what to say.

"The matter with the McLaren emissaries took but a few moments." Lucky began. "Thereafter, Eric volunteered to bring the warning to the Jade Coven himself, despite many volunteers."

"He went alone?" I wondered.

It was another of those moments where I felt worried for him despite knowing that whatever danger there had been had passed. I still felt that way even after knowing that I had made a fool of myself, calling the Den in the Outer Wild. I just couldn't help it.

Lucky nodded. "It had to be a first but no one questioned him. Upon his return an hour later, we all ate together at Raven's Hall. After which, Eric went on to spend the night with Thalia where the pair of them got right bolloxed."

"I don't know what 'bolloxed' means." I admitted. It sounded like a curse word but in the context I had no idea how to interpret.

"They had too much to drink." He translated. "For Thalia this is habit. For the Lord Raven, it is another oddity. They irritated Jorah with their revelry and he put them out. They ended up at my house. Eric left at sunrise but he did not return to you, obviously."

"No." I replied although he hadn't really asked me a question. "He didn't."

"His desire to distance himself does not shock you." Lucky said.

I couldn't quite bring myself to answer that one. Despite our daily trainings, Eric still couldn't shield. He needed me. I knew that he did. It was the one thing that was true between us. Yet, it seemed that I overestimated that need. It wasn't as strong as his desire to protect those he loved from me. He would rather suffer through the mental torment of being away from me than the protection I offered. It hurt worse than anything else. I felt so stupid for having panicked in the first place.

"Can you not help him as you told me, is this why?" Lucky pressed.

I shook my head. It wasn't that. If it were it would be easy. It was worse. I couldn't help the tears that stung my eyes and fell down my face.

"It's me." I said. "I did the one thing I shouldn't have."

Lucky reached for me to no doubt offer comfort but I pulled away. He didn't get it. It was him that I would hurt beyond repair. I told him so. I told him everything. He had been nothing but kind to me and almost costing him everything made me feel worse. By the end of my meltdown, I expected that he would be angry but he wasn't.

"You acted albeit impulsively but it was not malicious." He sounded genuinely curious. "Yet you led Eric to believe otherwise. You allowed him to think it was a deliberate act on your part to void your citizenship, that's bloody idiotic!"

When he said it like that, it really sounded bad but I wasn't thinking about it then. Truth was I'd been the fool twice for two people I cared for. In that moment I would have rather appeared guilty and complicit than admit to Eric that I was just that stupid. I didn't say that to Lucky. I just sat there miserably with that truth.

"When I met Merida, she hated purebred vampires with a fervor the likes of which I'd never witnessed before." He said.

"Isn't that what you are?"

He nodded. "Yes. I married her knowing that I was the choice far below, 'last resort'."

That was horrible. I couldn't even imagine why anyone would do such a thing. Sure my marriage to Eric hadn't happened under ideal circumstances. It hadn't even been remotely normal or anything close to my dreams. For all the things that it lacked, there had been understanding. I didn't hate him. I hadn't even been afraid of him despite him being a total stranger.

"Why on earth would you do that?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It is strange even after centuries, I cannot fully explain it. All I can say is the instant our eyes met, time stopped for me. In that breath I felt the weight of every second I'd lived. Something in felt that without her every moment would become a sentence to be served but with her…forever wouldn't be enough."

"You told her." I said.

He nodded.

"It did not go well." He said with a laugh. "She married me because she had given up on a life without pain and she thought I would bring her nothing but."

I wondered if Lucky was trying to make me feel better or much worse. Odd as his story was and as much as I knew his wife loved him, I just couldn't imagine the heartache. I didn't want to. It felt like I had too much of my own. When he continued to talk I couldn't help but listen to him. At least, I knew that his story was going somewhere good, no matter where it stopped on the way there.

"I was an Elite. I chose to bind my life to hers. I saved her but she wanted nothing to do with me. It had hurt me but I refused to pander to her and for a long time we were both miserable. Someone saw fit to give me great counsel; one cannot feed one's pride and their heart simultaneously. Happiness is a matter of knowing which to starve and when."

He snorted a dry laugh as if something had just occurred to him. "Pythia told me this but I believe she always intended for me to share it with you. It was she that sent me into the Outer Wild today for no reason it seemed but I was there when you called."

Even if I wanted to throw my pride and caution to the wind, it wouldn't matter. Eric wasn't angry with me for something I had done to him. He would forgive that with ease. He was probably over at the Bellefleur's or even worse with Dawn.

"He thinks I don't care, about you, about the Wild or about him." I said.

"Do you?"

"Yes." I replied.

It was the first time that I was letting myself feel that truth since learning that Eric had lied to me. That day, I had been ready to tell him that I wanted to go back. I had been so happy. It had nothing to do with wanting to get away from the people in my life that I felt had mistreated and misunderstood me. It had everything to do with wanting to be with Eric and returning to a place where we would both be happiest.

"You're a stubborn shite," he said. "Once you decide what's more important, I'm sure your hardhead would see you through the rest."

I laughed. He was clearly done giving me advice and that was just fine.

We talked for a while about the goings on back in the Wild. He told me about Tina. Tina was pretty much living life as a celebrity at this point. She went wherever she wanted and did whatever she wanted. Adults that didn't let her do as she pleased had her little vamp scamp minions to deal with. They were taking their promise to me very serious, almost too serious it seemed but it warmed my heart. No matter how much I missed my pet, hearing this made me feel like I'd made the right decision.

A little while after my conversation with Lucky had ended; I was too consumed with my thoughts and his stories to do anything else. So I watched the children play. I came to the conclusion that he was wrong. He had to be. He was suggesting—or rather Pythia had suggested to him ages ago—that I swallow my pride. This wasn't about pride. I was sorry. I'd tried to tell him but Eric hadn't cared to hear it. Then…then I had done nothing else. I'd just let it be.

On one hand I wondered why I should even be sorry when he had so brazenly admitted that he wasn't. After all, his lie had been worse than mine. He had promised not to lie to me during my very first day in the Wild. Everything that I had allowed myself to feel and experience was because of that trust. I had fallen in love because I had trusted him. How could I trust him now?

Then there was the fact that he had lied about loving me only because he needed me. Yet, his absence at home showed me that he didn't need me. It showed me that he would rather suffer than depend on me. I didn't know what else to do. The instant I admitted that truth to myself the answer entered my mind.

Suddenly everything became clear. It was so simple. It shouldn't have taken my sponsor or a vampire psychic to help me figure this out. In that moment I realized that I had been feeding my pride since the moment I entered the Wildlands because I had nothing else. I'd felt like a freak my whole life. It was more than a feeling; it was an integral fact on how I defined myself.

Discovering a different species that also found my sixth sense peculiar had solidified the label of 'Freak' I'd worn my entire life. Being with Eric could only be about need and mutual benefit, How could it not? My pride hadn't allowed for anything else. Finding out that he had lied had proven me right. That event had become more important than anything else; including every happy moment I'd shared with him prior. I knew what I wanted and that was my husband. Despite all that was wrong between us, I wanted him still. Yet, I felt so far removed from him, the intimacy and affection that had come so easily was now gone. I had no idea how I would ever get that back again.

I could have called but seeing I had to drop Arlene's kids off, I decided I would take the opportunity to see Eric. He wasn't at the old Bellefleur manor. No one was home. It didn't seem as though Eric and Terry had been here working today. On my way out, I caught Andy as he rounded the driveway. He wasn't fond of me. None of his family was, but him especially, he had a feeling that something was odd about me. Unlike everyone else, he didn't discard it as rubbish. He thought something was wrong with Eric too but seeing that more than half of his family and damn near the whole town was taken with my husband, he kept it to himself. I waved hello as I drove past but he met with a stiff nod. His thought brought me up short. On his way over to visit his grandmother, Andy had been by the bar and he had seen Dawn and Eric together.

I saw it clear as day in his thoughts; Eric was in the passenger side seat of Dawn's car. He was leaning across the console and had his arms around her. The look of ecstasy on her face was painful enough. The fact that Andy wasn't condemning Dawn in the least stung all the more. That Eric was with another woman was still somehow my fault in his eyes.

Somehow I kept the wheel steady as I drove away. I slammed my mental shields down so viciously that my vision blurred and my head ached but I didn't care. I didn't want to see just how much of Eric's infidelity Andy had been privy to. In my heart of hearts, I knew that I couldn't handle it. There was so much of him that I had assumed was mine because he needed me. I was wrong and I didn't know how to deal with that.

I dropped Lisa and Colby off at the bar but Arlene was tied up into a double. I knew what that was like so I didn't give her a hard time. She had taken my shift during the day and now she was filling in for Dawn because she was probably with…I couldn't even think it. The very idea of it made me sick and angry and so sad that I could barely breathe. I just couldn't deal with it at the moment. I exited the bar with the children trying not to run as I did so.

Outside, in the parking lot, Sam was waiting off to the side. Obviously he wanted to talk to me. I wasn't interested. Whatever he had to say would no doubt be engineered to make me stop being angry with him. The words he would try to use would make me understand why he had taken advantage of my affection for him and why he had used me to kill opposition to his pack. The thing was, I already knew. I already understood. I wasn't angry with Sam, not anymore. I would let him get this off his chest. I at least owed him that much. After I loaded the kids into the car I went over to him.

"I don't hate you Sam." I said. "I couldn't. You are the one person that kept Christmases and Thanksgivings and my birthdays from being painfully lonely."

Lord knows Jason hadn't but Sam had been there for me and he never asked anything of me. He was a good person and had been an even better friend. What he'd done was wrong but it didn't change the history we shared, it simply changed the future. Looking at him, it was clear that he had been expecting anger.

My calm and acceptance made him hang his head in shame. I never would have thought it but in that moment I saw how much easier anger was. When you were angry, you didn't have to listen and you didn't have to try to understand a different point of view. It was easy but it was toxic. I didn't ever want to go that route not with anyone, especially someone I cared about.

I walked over to him. I hugged him long and hard. It took a while but he hugged me back. "I'm sorry. I didn't have a choice."

"I'm so sorry too for how we ended. I know that you didn't do what you did to hurt me. You did what you had to and this me doing the same."

When we finally broke apart, I was so happy and so sad but I got in the car and drove, i felt so much lighter.

Right now, I was dealing with the fact that Eric was moving on. I had expected him to wait forever for my ire to wane? To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it, any of it. I had just been angry and relived that I was right to see what it would mean in the end. He had been willing to stay here as to fulfill his end of our bargain. I didn't really realize what that would mean for him. He would have had to watch me live out my life, grow old and die. Depending on if he learned to shield, my death would either mean freedom or return him into Hell. I had spent so much time and every ounce of energy pushing him away but I never thought that he would go. It seemed that he had.


	33. Chapter 33

The scent of food woke me the next morning but it was the fact that Eric was home that got me out of bed. I could hear both of Arlene's children talking and laughing as they helped him cook. I couldn't help but smile as I hung back in the doorway watching them.

It was the first time that I had allowed myself to actually look at Eric in weeks. I'd known that it would make me want him. I hadn't been wrong. The way his hair fell; the way his eyes lit when he smiled and just about everything else about him, hit me that much harder now.

It dawned on me just how much I was attracted to him. It was beyond physical, beyond sexual and yes, beyond mental. I liked the kind of person he was. Even if he wasn't a vampire whose mind I couldn't read, I would love him still. Eric was selfless. His greatest propensity was toward kindness. His first instinct was to give and not to take.

That didn't make lying to me alright. Rather realizing the depth of his inner beauty made me ask myself what would force such a person to do something so out of character. I knew the answer all too well.

Eric's motivations were ones that I understood intimately. Again, that wasn't a pass but I should have allotted him the same forgiveness that I had been so adamant that he granted himself.

"Aunt Sookie, look! We made pancakes!" Lisa announced happily.

"It smells good." I said walking into the kitchen. "Anything I can do to help?"

Since I'd been the last to wake, I was left with setting the table. I didn't mind it because I still felt awkward being this close to my husband and feeling things that I didn't know how to deal with.

Breakfast was good because Lisa and her brother carried most of the conversation. By the time Arlene arrived to collect her kids, I still hadn't said more than two words to Eric. Arlene reminded us of her upcoming nuptials. This time around, I was actually looking forward to it. I wasn't a bridesmaid nor would I be staff, it was a first. I did wonder if I would be going alone or not.

"Do you feel up to training?" I asked Eric after they had gone.

He nodded.

We headed out and the entire way there, I was trying to think of things to say. The silence was filled with music Eric had chosen but it was far from easy. By the time we had arrived at the site, I had come up with nothing to say but our training spot was a conversation piece. It was being prepped for the Summer County Fair.

Few things were a multi town affair, this was one of them. Bon Temps had the space and the surrounding parishes let us have this one thing. It was great. I'd been so wrapped up in everything that was going on that it had slipped my mind. I haven't missed a single one since I was a kid. Even with all the crowds, I still loved every minute of it.

"I forgot about the Fair." I said.

We wouldn't be training and I was disappointed because this was the only time I had with him now. He was looking at the activity with a level of interest. I explained it to him so he wouldn't have to dig through the minds of dozens of people.

"It's like every kind of entertainment squeezed into a certain space and it's only for a few days, three to be exact."

"What is the manner of entertainment exactly?" He asked.

I smiled at the look of wonder in his eyes.

"Baking contests," I said. "Bon Temps has two reigning champs; Maxine with her pies and Caroline Bellefleur and her chocolate cake."

Eric nodded as if that was no surprise to him.

"We lose every other category though." I continued.

"Why is this?"

"We don't have farms of any sort and pretty much every other category are based on that. The last farm in Bon Temps was way out in Hot Shot. It shut down, fifty years ago and before that it was my family's farm."

"What did they grow?" He asked. "What did your family grow?"

I told him what Gran had told me. As I talked he seemed completely enamored. The history of my small town had never been anything of great value to me before. I knew it but it was because I had to. I'd grown up with it. Eric seemed to appreciate it with an enthusiasm that I didn't think I ever had. It made me proud of my home. It also gave me an angle. I could be Eric's guide much like he had been mine when I had been lost in the Wild. It wasn't where I wanted us to be but I would take it. It made talking to him easier after weeks of hostility and avoidance.

"I could show you when it opens." I offered.

He stopped and looked at me kind of funny.

"To train?" he asked.

The days of his easy acceptance were gone. I had told him that he had lost my trust and in part that was true but I had lost his. I could gamble with my heart but Eric would never gamble with a Wildling. It showed me the true depth of how much damage I had done. He didn't trust me to care or even want to be in his company.

"Yes." I lied. "We could practice pinpointing minds from the sea of thoughts."

He nodded. "I see."

I dropped him off at the Bellefleur house and took the car. I had a job interview at but I called to cancel. Getting that job was a way to build my life without Eric. That wasn't a life a wanted. What I wanted was to go back in time to a place where being with Eric was easy. The road there wasn't easy.

I had to compete with Dawn. She had put more effort towards making my husband happy than I had. I couldn't blame Eric but I didn't have to not hate her either. I also didn't have to sit at home waiting for him to come back when I had given him no reason to, outside of telepathy that was and even that wasn't enough anymore.

I told myself that I wasn't getting dressed up for Eric. I was simply going through great lengths to style my hair and choose a dress, just because. It was a lie and it wasn't even a good one. I just kept repeating it as I got back in the car and drove back over to the Bellefleur manor house.

I saw Eric talking to Dawn and they were about to get into her car. I would have felt better if Dawn had looked embarrassed or guilty. She didn't. She looked annoyed by my presence. Dawn had her arm hooked through his but his eyes were on me. I stepped out of the car and got the thrill of Eric's eyes following my every step.

"Can you eat?" I asked.

He nodded. I didn't know what to make of the fact that he wasn't even blinking. His eyes seemed glued to my body. Deftly, he shrugged out of Dawn's hold and got into the car. We didn't talk but the static charge that always sparked when we were together was more potent. I ignored it as I navigated to the destination.

"They have been in business for a hundred and fifteen years." I explained as I pulled into Crawdad Diner. "They have the best seafood in this part of the state."

We were seated and I found myself out of facts to share about the restaurant. It left me with nothing else to say. I ordered my lunch and Eric didn't even look at the menu or the server. His eyes were on me. His stare was intense and unblinking.

"I'll give ya'll a little more time." The waitress said, before scurrying away.

"We can go somewhere else." I offered.

He shook his head. "Why are we here? It is not to scout it as a possible training site."

No. It most certainly was not.

"I wanted to eat with you." I admitted.

He sighed.

"I know that Lucky came to the house. I caught his scent. Whatever he told you, I assure you that he did not intend for you to force yourself to suffer my company."

He rose to leave and grabbed his hand. "Don't go, please."

He returned to his seat reluctantly. He really was convinced that I truly had no desire to be here with him and nothing could be farther from the truth. I wish that I could say that I didn't know how our interactions had been reduced to this but I did. I had all but singlehandedly steered the course. I had been charting this very destination since I married him. I kept telling myself I wasn't enough. Finding out Eric lied to me had given me merit. From there, I'd judged him as harshly as I'd always told him not to judge himself.

"I'm not here with you because of Lucky…I mean I am but—Lucky came by but it was because of me."

I proceeded to tell him about my phone call to the Den. Instead of it making things clearer, he seemed even more confused. Seriously, his eye brows were arched so high that they were dangerously close to meeting his hairline.

"Why would you bother calling. You—" He asked.

"I care." I interrupted. "You were supposed to come back and it was late…I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Every second that you're away, I wonder and it's never good."

Whether I was worried about Dawn's skank ass or his physical safety, I worried about him. I didn't just worry about him. I worried about what it would mean for so many if anything happened to him.

"I know I made you feel like I didn't care but I was just angry. Being angry with you was better; easier than facing that you were temporary and I didn't want you to be but I didn't want to ask you to stay."

"I would have." He said. "I wanted to."

I nodded. "That was scarier because I always have to wonder if it's only because you need me."

"I don't need you."

That stung. He reached across the table and took my hand, squeezing it gently until I looked at him.

"I need you like a husband needs his wife but I no longer need you to shield my mind."

Yet, he was still here. I supposed that made sense with what Lucky had told me. This had to be why Eric had been able to leave the protection my mind offered for extended periods. Knowing that, I still didn't understand it. It was true that he couldn't leave me and return home but he didn't have to deal with me this regularly either. He could have officially moved out of the house. Heck, he and Dawn could have moved to Shreveport. At the very least, he should have stopped coming to the daily trainings and home to my indifference.

"How?" I asked.

"Terry, or rather working with him," he said. "I've had some idea of what I was to do since the first night you pushed your silence into my mind but the concept was much too abstract for me to build upon."

He was referring to the night he had attacked me because he wasn't himself. I had all but forgotten about it but I remembered the relief as I had used the void minds around to numb his sixth sense.

"Terry and I were building the roof. I didn't know what I'd done until we were finished and I was completely alone in my head. I built my mental shields around something physical."

"That's great." I said.

It wasn't exactly a lie but the smile on my face was brittle. He officially didn't need me.

"Yes but I find that you are kinder to those that need you and I didn't anymore." He explained. "Telling you this would have meant losing the little time we spent together. I have tried but I do not think I can ever be happy without you. I do not want to be. I love you. It is most disheartening to feel that and feel your indifference."

"I was such a bitch to you." I admitted feeling shame and guilt weigh me down.

I couldn't imagine what it would have been like for me if he had treated me half has harshly while I was in the Wild. I had pushed him away and had risked so much just to prove that I was right, that someone like Eric could never love me. It had all been for naught. He loved me and his love was true because not even my abjuration had changed it.

He half nodded and half shrugged. "I love you still."

"I love you too and this might not seem like much but this is me trying to show you that." I said.

I was so bad at it.

"It is good." He said. He said with enthusiasm. "I like being anywhere where you are."

I laughed because I didn't believe him. I sucked at this. I didn't even know what I was doing. Swallowing my pride was that foreign to me. So was apologizing but I was seldom wrong, being a telepath and all. Meanwhile Eric apologized every time something went wrong even when it wasn't his fault. He had apologized for not being able to help.

"I'm sorry for what I did; threatening Lucky's place in the Wild. I didn't know. I would never do that to him, to you, to Merida, Marisol and to the Wildlands."

"You said that you'd rather die. You wanted to be 'Wildling no more'."

"I was angry with you and you deserved that anger." I replied.

"Yes, very much." He agreed. "I am not sorry but I hate that I hurt you. I hate that you rightfully feel as though you cannot trust me. I have a chance to make this right but do not ever make me believe that you do not care." He said. "I hated it and I did not know what to do."

I nodded. "I understand why you started with Dawn."

I've lost him enough time in lieu of conversation to know that it had happened again. "Your affair with her."

"Sex with other women, the thought…has not even entered my mind so I am unsure what you mean."

"Andy saw you…in the car with her."

"Ahh…I needed blood. This Coven does not utilize bagged blood." He said.

I hadn't even thought of his need for blood since we arrived. Of all the jealous angry imaginings I'd have of Eric and Dawn that one logical explanation hadn't entered my mind.

The waitress returned and I ordered for the both of us. After so long, I was happy to find that talking to Eric still felt natural. It was a whole other matter once we were alone in the car.

During the drive, tension filled the space between us but it wasn't the type that had been common as of late. This was wrought with unspent desire. In the absence of any intimacy it had grown stronger. It was its own entity in the car threatening to combust. We needed to part ways and soon.

"I'll pick you up. I'll cook dinner." I suggested once he got out of the car.

"I am eating here." He said. "Caroline insists on it as a form of payment, one that I have told her is unnecessary."

By his tone I could tell that he had tried to argue this many times without success. It said something about southern grandmothers that even the Lord Raven didn't think it wise to refuse one.

"Join us." He said. "Her chocolate cake is very good."

"I know, do you think you can get the recipe out of her?" I asked in all honesty.

He shook his head. "I have been putting all my charms to work but she is not willing to share it with me."

Damn. The entire town has been after it since I was a little girl. Eric could be as charming as he wanted. Caroline wasn't going to give that recipe up, it was award winning good. Like the rest of us, he was going to have to wait until it was printed on the back of her gravestone.

It was also no shock to me that Eric just hadn't entered her mind and made her give it up. He had too much respect for people, no matter their species and no matter what he wanted from them.

How did I think that same respect was denied me? I had though. I had believed it with every fiber of my being. That was over and done with. He didn't need me, he wanted me and what I wanted was to make him happy.

He smiled and I melted all over again. My body was starved for his touch and seeing his smile caused hunger pains. I needed to get out of there. Otherwise there was no telling what I wouldn't do to feed that need. I was also sure that Eric and I fucking on the hood of the car right there would get us uninvited to dinner.

So while me and the Bellefleur's didn't really mix. I agreed to join him because I wanted to see his face.

"I'll be there."


	34. Chapter 34

Dinner tonight would be far from pleasant. From what I'd heard, the list had grown. It was turning into a full on dinner party. Seeing as the Stackhouse farmhouse was miles from the Bellefleur manor, I knew that Eric was the only reason I'd been invited. For the second time today, I got dressed up to go out. I had also taken the time to bake biscuits.

I was on my way out the door when I saw a familiar truck, speed up the driveway. When he got out of the car, I knew that my brother had every intention on accompanying me. My brother was handsome but there was only so much that his natural good looks could do to combat the tacky suit and cowboy boots that he was wearing.

Jason was the least of my problems, at least in part. His reputation wasn't better than mine where the Bellefleur's were concerned. The only reason he wanted to come with because Dawn had agreed to come with him. How could I tell him that she still had zero interest in him? I couldn't. Jason wouldn't take kindly to such a hurtful truth and I didn't want to be dealing with his bruised ego until the end of time.

I would leave it to Caroline. Hopefully, she would turn them away but knowing her, I knew that she would not. It seemed as though dinner was going to be interesting if nothing else. I would have to deal with my odious older brother and his date, one that was determined to screw my husband. On top of that I had to face the dislike that the Bellefleur's had for me. I would have quite literally gnawed off my own hand with my teeth if it meant that Jason would have a sudden change of heart. He didn't. When we arrived at the house, Dawn was there.

She was dressed in an evening gown that made the simple sun dress I was wearing seem out of place. In fact, it seemed as if everyone present had received the memo on dress code but me, even Eric was wearing a suit. With the way he looked at me, I didn't get a chance to feel self-conscious about though. I saw that same hunger that had ignited my greatest pleasures. I saw the same awe and wonder when he found out I was a telepath. More importantly I felt his adoration and his love.

"It was kind of you to invite Jason." He said coming over to take my hand.

"I didn't."

He arched a brow and I just shook my head. He didn't want to know and I didn't even what to think about it. I'd eaten with more people at Jorah's. The house was smaller and I was a foreigner but I had felt welcomed and accepted there. The people there liked each other. They weren't competing to see who had what. The same could not be said about the atmosphere here.

It began Portia talking about her days at law school. Then it was a bragging session with food in between.

"Eric," Mrs. Vanderbilt said.

She was the mother of Portia's doctor fiancé. She wasn't from Bon Temps and it was clear that she didn't think much of it.

"How ever did a cultured gentleman like you find yourself in this cozy little town?"

"My wife." Eric replied.

I thought that it was only that could hear the pride in his voice. Everyone else seemed confused. The way they stared at me it would be hard to imagine that everyone from my brother to Andy Bellefleur had known me my whole life. I tried to ignore it.

"We met and simply had to get married it really didn't even feel like a choice at the time, did it Love?"

I rolled my eyes. I really had missed his particular brand of shitty humor. I smacked at him halfheartedly but couldn't help but smile.

"That and I thought you were pretty." I replied.

"What was the rush?" Dawn asked with fake curiosity. "Ya'll coulda had a ceremony here around your friends, instead of letting some captain marry you. Poor Jason didn't get a chance to do his duties as your big brother."

There was a murmur of agreement and then all eyes were on me. I knew what every one was thinking. I knew without being in her head that was what Dawn wanted. She wanted to paint the same picture that my brother has assumed was true, that I had gotten myself knocked up and married the first man that would have me.

"We had a ceremony at my home in New York with my family and friends." Eric said. "Is it also customary to have another here with her family and friends?"

I think it was because he looked so genuinely curious that the judgmental knowing expression waned.

"This is her home; it would be only be right." Caroline said. There was a murmur of agreement from everyone. I could tell by the look on Eric's face that he was listening to them.

"I think that's what Gran would have wanted." Jason said.

It was the most sincere thing that I'd heard him say in a very long time. Oddly it made me even angrier with him. He never wanted to go visit Gran's grave with me. He never took the time to set flowers on our parent's grave. Yet, in this room full of strangers, he wanted to act the part. What was worse was that he was only doing it for a girl. I plastered a smile on my face and rose.

"Excuse me, please."

I walked out of the room. I hated the victorious smile that I saw on Dawn's face. I wish I could scream and tell her that this wasn't about her. She hadn't won anything. There was nothing that she could do that would make Eric want her. I wasn't even angry with Jason. I missed Gran. I missed her every single day. No one depended on her the way I did. I just couldn't stand a table full of people talking about her and what she would have wanted. It wouldn't have mattered to her what Eric was or where we had been married. Out of everyone in the whole wide world, she would have cared that I was happy. I bolted out of the dining room sure I was headed for the closest door. It was the back door and I found Terry seated on the steps eating alone. He seemed so mellow that I felt like I had to apologize for intruding.

"Sorry. I was just leaving." I said.

He shrugged. "You never bothered me none, Sook."

I was still deciding if I would leave or sit with him when Eric found us. Terry took his meal and walked off into the night. He had no intensions of entering the house any more than I did and he lived there.

"I'm sorry." Eric said.

I laughed as I hugged him. "It's not you."

I knew he didn't understand but since we met he had treated my unhappiness, my discomfort as something to be sorry for. I had taken it for granted and thought it was nothing but sentiment but it wasn't. In his heart, Eric was a defender. Watching me suffer and being unable to help had to be a special brand of frustrating. I wrapped my arms around again and held him tighter.

"Stop worrying." I said.

"So you do not want a wedding ceremony here?" he asked.

I did but that wasn't why I was upset. It wasn't what had sent me running out of the room. For the first time, I told him the truth even though it left me so raw and vulnerable I could cry. I never thought I would ever get married but as a little girl, every time I had dreamed of it, it had been here in a place I loved with Gran there.

It didn't matter that I didn't fit in here in town. That wasn't what I loved. I loved the heart and soul of this small town that I'd grown up in. It didn't have to love me back but it was a part of me. That fantasy had died but the reality I had with Eric was one that I wouldn't exchange for all the fairytales in the world. I talked about Gran and that was hurt the most. I never realized how much I tried not to think about her because I missed her so much and I had no one else.

"You should not have come." Eric told me. "You must have known that it would be painful."

I shrugged. "I wanted to be wherever you were." I admitted. "I missed you."

He cupped my faced in his hands and his expression was forbidding. "I love you. I never want to be in a place where you are hurting."

We left. It was rude but I didn't care and I didn't think he did either. I was getting changed for bed when he found me. There was no time to think or to feel. Need overwhelmed us both. Eric's hands trailed down to my neck, across my shoulders and down my arms. They rested on my waist, pressing me tighter against him. I could feel how hard his cock was. I wanted it in me because I knew how good it would feel. It wasn't just sex. I wanted to go back to that place where reason meant nothing and all that was left was that raw eroticism that engulfed every inch of space between us. I wanted it and him but I knew I had to stop. It felt like the hardest thing I'd ever done but I pulled away. Undeterred, his lips moved to my neck.

"Ah…" I moaned, holding him closer. "Eric…stop."

He did but if I was struggling I knew he was barely keeping it together. His expression was confused, aroused and concerned. It did nothing to douse my desire.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked.

I shook my head. It would have been so much easier to fight if he was.

"I want to slow down." I explained. "I want to date and stuff."

"Date…as in courtship?" he asked.

I nodded. "Everything happened in the wrong order before."

It seemed silly that after having sex with him more times than I could count, I was asking this of him but it was important to me. If I was being honest, there was so much that I wanted to know about him. It wasn't the major things. I knew his greatest pain. He had overcome his greatest weakness. I knew that at his core; at his best and at his worst, he was still a good person.

It was the subtle nuances and basics of his persona that I didn't know. So while I knew that he would die for any Wildling, I didn't know what his favorite color was. I knew what drove everything he did, but I didn't know what he liked to read. We might have done it all in the backwards order but now that we were starting over, I wanted it to be right. That was what was important to me, not a wedding reception at home.

"You should go. While I want you to have what you want, the urge to fuck you, bite you and rub myself all over you, is overwhelming."

The look in his eyes said that he was giving me a chance to change my mind and if I should refuse it then any semi flat surface would do. I stole a quick kiss and ducked out from his hand. I went to bed with the delightful knowledge that I had some hot dates to plan and I could hardly wait. I wanted to get to know everything about my husband.

The first date was the county fair. Eric enjoyed it and we went every night it was in town. I knew that it was his new found ability to shield that made it even more wondrous for him as he navigated the throngs of people. It was that and all the different games and food. Eric tried cotton candy for the first time and it was hilarious. He was wound up for an hour.

"It is like Fairy blood." He said with his eyes wide.

I didn't even know what that meant but with the look on his face, I didn't care. I found that planning dates for Eric and me to go on made me appreciate home more. I was looking at it from the eyes of a visitor and suddenly there was so much to see. Yes, I knew Bon Temps as well as the other towns had history that dated back prior to the Louisiana Purchase.

History wouldn't be enough. I had to search my small town and the surrounding owns for gems that I wanted to share with my husband and there were many. From forgotten history to unspoken heroes during the civil war and eateries, there was a lot to see.

Dating Eric was hard. Every second we were together, I had to ask myself how long I could continue to resist him. It wasn't his desire that I had to combat, it was mine. I was acting like a bitch in heat. The memories of having him inside me, the taste of his lips and the feel of his hands all over me crowded my thoughts.

I'd never been any good at denying my husband my body. With every outing that unquenched thirst grew ever stronger. Stealing a kiss at night and cuddling wouldn't be enough. Even as we lay together at night talking about every little thing, it wasn't enough. That primal need to have his body in mine grew stronger with every touch.

I was out of date ideas, mainly because I was too horny to think. Having to attend Arlene's wedding seemed like the perfect night out together that wasn't a night out at all. Really, I counted on being around people to keep me from ravaging my husband. At this point, Eric and I were like two teenagers.

We couldn't touch each other casually. I couldn't kiss him without needing more after. Tonight when he pulled me to close to dance, I knew that I wouldn't last another night. I had dressed up extra sexy to torment him and it had worked too well. All night his eyes had been on me and I could feel it. There was no way that I could deny us both what we craved.

"I want to leave." I said to Eric. "I can't wait anymore."

I've been to enough of Arlene's weddings to know that it would be coming to an end. This was a good time to leave. I was sure she wouldn't mind. This time, I had brought a very expensive gift courtesy on my Wildling funds. I figured since I couldn't spend it when I went back and I didn't want for nothing now, I gave it to someone that needed it, more specifically to her kids.

He groaned long and hard as if he was in pain. "I have volunteered to chaperon the drunks."

I laughed. "I think you mean designated driver, Sweetheart." I corrected. "Tell you what? You go on and wrangle your drunken wards and I'll meet you at home."

"It should not be long. None of them can drink like Thalia."

No, they could not.

He kissed my head and went to work. It wasn't easy. Eric was popular. Once I'd let him go he was asked to dance. Being polite as he was he couldn't say no. Every now and again I made eye contact with him and he smiled at me. Eric saw to his duties and thankfully, his charges were all but passed out drunk. They didn't put up much struggle.

I hung around until he had loaded the last, person into Terry's truck. I was hastily heading to the parking lot when I heard a roaring engine speeding towards me. I leapt out of the way with a startled cry. The truck side swiped a car that was next to where I'd been moments ago. It sped away and just kept on going. The lights were off and the driver was no doubt drunk. I looked at the damaged car and recognized it as Dawn's Chevy. It made me petty but I was happy that her car was banged up.

"What was that?" Andy said coming over.

"Someone that shouldn't have been driving," I answered.

They hadn't even had their lights on. There hadn't even a thought to hear. That was how tanked they had been.

"You okay," Andy asked gruffly.

I knew he wasn't asking in his official capacity. He had no intention of filing reports not when he was off duty. The highest profile crime in town history, Maudette's murder, had been solved and the perpetrator had been arrested in New Orleans. I knew it was a lie but since then neither Sheriff Dearborn nor his deputies had been interested in much police work. I would be damned if it started with me.

I smiled and nodded. "Fine, thanks."

"Did you see who done it?"

I shook my head.

"Nope," and for that I was glad.

I had plans to have sex tonight. God willing it would be rough, hot and dirty.


	35. Chapter 35

By the time I got home, the rain that had been threatening all day began to fall. Eric was there leaning against the back stairs. His face was turned up to the to the sky. I couldn't wait to be as physically close to him as I could. I craved that intimacy more than my next breath. It was as if he knew because when our eyes locked, he was suddenly in my space.

I pulled my dress over my head and it hit the ground with a wet thud. I walked into the house and he followed as if he were a slave to the promises my body made. Unlike the first time we made love, I knew so much more. I wanted to take and not just surrender. When we kissed, it was as if we've never been apart. The feel of his skin against mine after so long, it left me crippled with desire. My body craved his that much. Suddenly, the idea of taking my time to savor this reunion was too much.

I dropped down to my knees and began pulling at the clasp of his pants. I caressed my face against his throbbing cock. The instant it was free I sucked it into my mouth. This wasn't a part of our exploits that I did often. The thought of having his cock in my mouth, to pleasure him as he had pleasured me, added to the need that was consuming me. I'd simply been too shy and too froth with worry over my inexperience. In this moment it didn't matter.

"Bloody fucking hell…"

I paused because Eric sounded like I've never heard before.

"Do you want me stop?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I won't last, if you don't."

I smiled and went back to it. I wanted to devour him. I wanted to worship the object of my love, my passion and my pleasure. His hands were fisted in my hair, moving in tune to my attentions. I felt his thighs bunch as he bucked every time I gagged on his cock. I stroked and touched every other part of him that I couldn't lick. I knew when Eric couldn't take anymore. He used his hold on my head to pull me away and up to his lips.

He kissed me deeply, his tongue fully tasting my lips. My head swam and in a distant part of my mind, I heard the sound of fabric tearing. It was only then that I felt the sweet caress of his hand cupping my soaking sex. I was free of my panties but it wasn't enough. There was no more time. We couldn't make it to the bedroom, or the sofa. The kitchen floor would have to do.

I craved him too much and I needed him inside me. I crawled into his lap. The feel of his cock parting my folds, was such an electric mix of all things that was good between us that I truly had no words. He thrust up, forcing me to take all of him in one long powerful stroke.

It felt so fucking good. Big as Eric was, as deep as he was in me, I only wanted more. He snaked his arms more firmly around my waist guiding my movements in a way that made sure he hit that deep secret place inside me with every turn.

He kissed me and his lips drugged my brain making it impossible for me to feel anything but him. The way he suckled at my breasts, biting the hardened nipples. The way he roughly squeezed my ass, made me wetter. Even the feel of his breath on my neck, his scent and his skin; it all added to my pleasure.

Every other time we'd made love, I'd been so consumed by it that that was all I saw. Being on top like this, I saw what I was doing to Eric. I saw my husband fight for control. I looked into his eyes and saw what I was doing to him. Every time I brought my body on him, his body seemed to tremble with a force that was both violent and immitigable.

It was such an intoxicating kind of thrill to watch Eric try to fight the pleasure my body brought him. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, he gritted his teeth and when all that failed to help him last, he begged me. It was the kind of thing that a girl could become addicted to.

"Wait…Sookie—" He moaned.

I wish I could tell him just how much that made me not want to stop. I took his hand and placed on my breasts. His answering groan only made me ride him harder and faster. I couldn't move with him, my legs were useless. Eric hooked his arms under my knees and held me. I could see the corded ropes of muscle strain with his effort.

He worked me up and down on his glorious cock, over and over until the tension coiling in my center became too much. My orgasm racked through my body with a force that was just short of violent.

I was still shuddering and trying to catch my breath when Eric carried me into my bedroom. I was on my bed but I knew that he wasn't done with me. He climbed on top of me and I yielded immediately and completely.

I thought that there would still be roughness to our coupling after so long. There wasn't. We made love. It was slow and long and it made me feel so close to him that in every way, I knew that we were made for each other.

My heart was full. My mind was at ease and my body was sated. I drifted off to sleep with Eric's arms around me. Yet somehow, when I woke up, it was to Thalia poking me. She flashed me a knowing smile.

I flushed but couldn't muster any chagrin as I swatted at her halfheartedly. Easy as my rapport was with Thalia I knew what her presence meant. Knowing I would have to let him go, I held him tighter for a moment longer but when I went to wake him, she stopped me.

"If my presence fails to wake him, then he is desperately in need of sleep." That truth stole the mirth from her eyes. "Trouble always keeps, let him sleep. There is time."

She left as silently as she had entered. I knew that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. I wiggled and eased my way out from under Eric. I dressed and found Thalia in my kitchen. In the time since she'd woken me, she had sniffed out all my junk food, broken my toaster and was trying to use my microwave to bake a cake.

Fucking vampires, I didn't know if I should be laughing or angry or what. Jorah sat perched on the counter watching her with a smile. The greeting he gave me was true of Wildlings. He hugged me and told me how much I was missed back home.

"When will you return home?" He asked.

I didn't know but I knew that I would. "I'm enjoying my honeymoon," I said putting coffee on.

"Lila, we never had a Honeymoon." He said with a pointed frown at Thalia.

Her back was turned but by the way she shook her head, it was as if she felt it.

"It was difficult. You spent the five years of marriage trying to chop off my head and the next hundred years pretending I was invisible."

"That should not have stopped you." He argued. "I want one."

"I dislike leaving the Inner Wild." She argued.

"Lila—"

"As you wish, my Love," she said with a sigh.

I smiled. It was even funnier because Thalia seemed to be completely aggrieved. We sat down and I broke out my stash of cinnamon buns for us to share over coffee. I thought I would need the caffeine with Eric about to head out but the scent of it made me feel a little queasy. I didn't eat much either. Neither did Jorah. We were both already falling into that anxiety ridden state of mind that would fully engulf us once they were called away from home. Thalia had no issue. She ate half the box. We tried to keep the mood light as we waited for Eric to wake. We were on hour two of Jeopardy when he woke up and joined us.

"The Jade Coven—" Thalia began.

"Who are they?" I interrupted.

"They are our immediate neighbors to the south in Pennsylvania." Eric explained coming to sit beside me.

"They are a Changeling Coven and they are under siege. Their fall is imminent." Thalia reported. "They are evacuating their people north. So far the Ravens have apprehended a little over a thousand, more are breaching our borders from every port as we speak."

"Normally, trespassers are executed on sight but when this happens. The people are…" Jorah said. "

"Desperate," I finished for him.

Eric nodded. "Many are wounded, most are women and children, noncombatants of sorts to include humans." He said rising to his feet.

Thalia followed suit and in single motion they both donned their uniforms.

"Harming them violates the Ravens code of conduct. On matters such as this, I intervene but ultimately their fate will be put to a vote."

"That's good, right?'

He shrugged.

"Our people will vote to have them peacefully expunged from our lands. This gives them time. They will also be offered a chance to choose a mode of transportation and port of exit. It ups their chances of surviving but not by much. In some cases it would be more humane to execute them, at least they will die clean deaths. I have seen what happens to Changelings who fall at the hands of Purebreds."

The expression on his face was empty as if this shouldn't bother him but yet his eyes were tormented. I wrapped my arms his middle and lay my head in his chest. He held me so tight it hurt and he rested his cheek on my head. He was breathing in my scent as if it gave him all the comfort he needed in the world. This was what the average Wilding didn't see. This was a man that saw so much evil but never allowed it inside him. He kissed my head.

Jorah scowled at Thalia. "Hurry up."

She rolled her eyes but nodded her head deeply at him.

Jorah stayed with me and we watched the people we love leave us to answer a call that was greater than themselves. Once we were alone, we continued watching television. It served as a better distraction for Jorah than a tour through the Justice Hall.

We fell asleep on the couch and when the sun came up neither of our spouses had return. Jorah took it upon himself to cook breakfast. I wanted to help but he seemed to be in the zone and he seemed less miserable. I added music from the radio. After a few beats, we found something he liked.

I went to put coffee on. The delicious aroma filled the house and I felt my bile rise. I gagged and wasn't even able to make it to the bathroom, that was how sudden the bout of sickness was. Jorah was less disgusted than I was. Without a single frown, he carried me to the bathroom. Jorah kept my hair from my face as continued to retch.

By the end of it, I felt so exhausted I could have fell asleep right there with my cheek resting on the toilet seat. He turned on the shower and left me to clean up. I showered feeling better as the hot water beat down my clammy skin. I felt fine by the time I returned to the kitchen. Jorah had prepared a full on feast. I didn't even know that I had enough ingredients to make half the things that were on offer. I ate. At first I only braved toast but my stomach rumbled loudly. I ate more, albeit slower.

When I looked up Jorah was watching me but he hadn't touched a thing.

"If you're not going to eat at least don't stare at me." I said.

He laughed. It was shocking because with Thalia gone, I'd assumed that nothing could bring a smile to his face, never mind laughter.

"I do not understand how some females have no inclination." He said.

I ignored him because I had no idea what he was talking about but the concoction in my mouth was so salty and sweet and hearty that I all but moaned. It was like taters, eggs, peppers and onions were having a party in my mouth. All the while Jorah continued to stare at me in disbelief. It was like he was trying to figure out how such a thing was possible.

"I knew before Thalia but it should be more obvious to you, as you are human, no?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea what you're taking about." I said with my mouth full.

"You are with child." Jorah said.

I laughed assuming this was some ancient vampire way of calling me 'Fat'. "That's kind of rude." I said. "There is no way I'm round enough for you to confuse me for pregnant."

"You truly did not suspect?" He asked.

He was serious but he couldn't be. The mere thought was beyond implausible. Had Jorah forgotten that I was human and that Eric was vampire? There was no way that I was pregnant with my husband's baby. It should be impossible for me to conceive. This was just impossible. It had to be. Calisto, Merida and the others had me the rule but there were exceptions, Ayame had told me that.

I was nauseous again but it was wholly due to fear that Jorah could be right. In record time I dressed and jumped in the car. It should have occurred to me to drive out of town to buy pregnancy tests especially because Jorah was with me. I was in such a state that I didn't. I just drove right to the general store in the heart of town.

As I found was true for most vampires, Jorah drew attention. I didn't care to stop and make introductions or small talk. I walked into the store and bought several tests in several different brands. It was just my bad luck that Mrs. Tinsley was at the register. She looked at my purchases and then my face but she seemed in no hurry to ring up my items.

"Mornin' Mrs. Tinsley." I greeted.

"You've got a bun in the oven darlin'." She told me.

Jorah was perplexed. "What bun—"

"She's saying the same thing as you." I explained before he could ask.

"It's kinda obvious ain't it? I've seen that man of yours around town."

She let out an appreciative whistle and fanned herself dramatically with her hand. Mrs. Tinsley laughed and it sounded more lecherous than I would have liked coming from a seventy year old lady. Jorah laughed. I was trying not to scream.

"Knew it wouldn't be long before you came running in here buying these."

"I just want to be sure." I told her trying to swallow my panic.

"You spend exactly twenty three dollars here a month. I ain't seen you since before you got hitched, back in April. It's the middle of June. "

She dropped her eyes down to my chest. "Not to mention your girls are looking mighty snug in that top." I had taken the tenderness in my breast to mean I was about to have a period. Could it possibly mean the opposite?

'Don't panic' I told myself.

She didn't know anything. She was just telling me an old wives tale. Mrs. Tinsley didn't know anything about vampires. She simply had no idea how impossible her words really were. Jorah was…I had no idea how he had come to his conclusion.

"If it's all the same," I told her. "I'm gonna make doubly sure."

"Suit yourself."

I saw Dawn as I headed back to the car. These days she wasn't even feigning niceness. When she saw Jorah, she gave me a look of open scorn. She wanted to judge me for walking down the street with another man when she had been trying to fuck my husband for weeks.

It could have been my mood but when I saw her expression, I looked her dead in the eye and gave her a one fingered response. Jorah must have thought it was some sort of greeting because he copied the gesture and added a smile. If I wasn't a hair away from melting down, I would have laughed.


	36. Chapter 36

"So this is a human thing that tells you of the baby?" Jorah asked turning one pregnancy test over in his hand. "I do not see how. There is no magic that I can sense."

I could barely hear him. I'd taken three tests and all of them had been positive. I'd barely set down the fourth test when it gave me the same result. I stared at it willing what I saw to change. It didn't.

The panic that I had been keeping at bay engulfed me in full. Jorah hugged me and it was such a strange fucking scene. We were seated on my bathroom floor. He had his arms around and my face in my hands as I bawled uncontrollably.

"This is expected. The emotions will be very difficult at first." Jorah said, rubbing my arm. "Thalia cried constantly."

He didn't get it. I wasn't hysterical because of hormones. The idea that there was life growing inside me was too much for words. There was this overwhelming feeling of joy but fear and uncertainty was right there too.

"Eric doesn't want this." I said.

Jorah waved his hand dismissively. "The old ones, they all have this thinking."

"What thinking?" I asked confused.

"Their pasts are horror stories that they themselves barely survived and so they think themselves not only broken but ruined beyond all recall."

I didn't have all the gory details but I knew that that was true for Eric. His mother taking her own life was his greatest pain and his deepest shame. I couldn't imagine every act of abuse that she had suffered that Eric had witnessed. I certainly couldn't imagine finding a home that was free from war and then having it finding me all over and feeling like it was my fault.

"I don't know how they lived through all that for thousands of years." I admitted.

"They have hope." He said. "Arguably you and I are married to the oldest in the Wild. They did not choose us idly. We are the best for them. Their pasts, it is nothing to the future that they can have with us."

I didn't know why I expected Jorah to react with understanding. "You can't just disregard someone's past. It shapes them and more often than not it scars them."

"Agreed but is not their past the very reason they made the Wild home? Is it not the abundance of pain and tragedy within it that propels them to defend it still?" He asked.

Well, he had me there.

After I cleaned myself up, Jorah made tea. He wasn't very talkative but his mood was scores better than mine. It probably had to with all the bad TV he was watching. I was million miles away.

Half of me was worrying about Eric and the fate of the survivors of the Jade Coven. The other half was froth with anxiety over my baby news. It still felt so surreal to me.

"I wish to test drive the automobile." Jorah suddenly announced.

"I don't think that's a good idea." I said. "You've never driven before, have you?"

"It cannot be very difficult." He replied, waving me off. "I have seen it done many times."

"In the car commercials we watched."

Jorah was already up. He grabbed the keys off the table and was out the door before I could stop him. I cringed internally. This wasn't going to end well, I just knew it. There was nothing I could do about it so I gave him pointers as he got into the driver's seat.

"Remember just press on the gas with the tiniest pressure like it's an egg." I cautioned.

I would like to think that Jorah heard me but as the engine purred to life, he stomped on the gas with the gear still in park. The engine roared and tired spun and he laughed delightedly.

"Be careful." I called. "If you kill yourself, Thalia will totally kill me."

He laughed. "This is easier than riding horses."

Having never ridden a horse, I didn't really know if that was the same but I could imagine the comparison. Jorah took off and at first he did 'Donuts' on my rickety drive way and even that was shaky. Seeing that he couldn't hurt anyone, I couldn't be mad. After a little while, Jorah seemed to get the hang of it.

The ancient Egyptian was whipping the SUV around faster than what was normal but having superior reflexes kept the car from slipping and skidding. He was happy as he drove and I was happy watching. Hearing his excited whoops made me forget all our worries. Then he lost control of the car.

He broke off from the harmless circle pattern. The velocity stayed the same. Suddenly, the car turned into a projectile that was headed toward the house and me as I was still seated on the left side of the porch. Instinct moved me to my feet to run from harm's way but it was unnecessary. Jorah was out of the car and had his arms around me. When my eyes opened, we were both watching the car smash into half of the porch. This was a perfect moment to tell him how bad he was at driving. Our eyes met and we just laughed.

"I could not stop." He commented. "Perhaps it was not as easy as I presumed."

That much was obvious but I didn't care about that.

"Not it." I called.

I knew he didn't understand but that was the point. I wasn't going to be the one to explain this to his spouse or mine. He didn't seem at all bothered by the prospect. Normally, I would worry myself sick about the damage to the house and the car. In this instance, I couldn't care less. Jorah was okay and everything else was replaceable.

I knew that most people that knew Jorah thought him to be difficult but I found him comforting. He was the sort of person that bored a telepath. He was unapologetic in all that he was. I knew that he only smiled when he felt it. To see him this okay with Thalia gone was encouraging. We helped each other. There was something about sharing that worry with someone that was living it too that made it harder to fall apart.

Sure it had taken him destroying a car and half my house and my baby news but Jorah was smiling. He was still very proud of himself about his first time behind the wheel when I called Earl the mechanic. He even waved his middle fingers at him much like he had Dawn. After I finished laughing I explained to him how that was okay for Dawn and not Earl.

After dinner Jorah and I were watching more television when the back door opened. Jorah was up and out of his seat as if it was on fire.

"What happened to the house and where is the car?"

Seeing my husband eased something me that I didn't know was aching.

I pointed to Jorah in response and he was already pulling his wife to the door. I sighed. It was only after they had left that I realized how troubled Eric was.

He came over to the couch where I was and laid his head in my lap. I caressed his face but said nothing. I simply let him take all that he needed from me.

"I saw Freyda." He said. "She personally led the attack on the Jade Coven. She wanted me to see what she had done. She wanted to provoke me."

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart."

I held him tighter as if I could squeeze the pain right out of him. I knew I couldn't but I tried. I didn't know how long we were like that.

"Many people do not know this but Freyda and me, we are twins." He said. "She is my elder sister but only by four minutes. I often wondered if I'd been older, if everything would have been different."

"Baby, I don't see how." I told him honestly.

"When my father died, Freyda was to take her place as Queen, I challenged her. I fought her and I won. I should have killed her. It would have saved so many lives. I knew this even then. Yet, as I stood over her, all I saw was my mother. I couldn't kill her and so I banished her instead."

I couldn't fathom such a thing.

"I made my rule one that my mother would be proud of. Freyda came back after a thousand years and in one night, she reduced it nothing. Again, I fought her and again instead of killing her, I let her go with a promise that if ever again, we clash swords one of us would die. I fear that that day will be soon."

That was alarming. Regardless of how much Freyda hated everything the Wild stood for, Freyda was yet to attack it head on. What would it mean if that suddenly changed?

"Why do you think that?" I asked. "Did she say something?"

He shook his head. "This wasn't the first time I have seen her over the ages and easily as I can read her thoughts she can read me. The last time our paths crossed she knew something was wrong with me. Today I think she came hoping whatever that thing was, made me weak enough for her to finally test her might against my will."

"She left disappointed then." I said confidently.

"Yes but in her mind I saw something I've never seen before; fear. She can feel it. Freyda can feel her reign weakening. It is ironic really; the same humans that are deemed worthless are the instrument to her downfall."

"How?" I wondered.

"Human innovation and ingenuity shapes this world, we must all adapt. Over the years, even the most intolerant Purebred houses have evolved to value their wealth and their comforts over spilling the blood of those they deem beneath them. Houses that are allied with her are raising their children to be CEO's, and businessmen not soldiers. I think she believed that striking a blow at the Wild even if only to kill me would rally her supporters. Finding me well has made her desperate. Telling her I was married to a human infuriated her; perhaps enough to risk open war."

"She will lose." I murmured.

He nodded. "Her defeat will be swift, sound and merciless is she brings war to my home." He replied firmly.

No matter how much it hurt him, I knew he would put nothing before his home and his family.

The silence continued but it wasn't as heavy as it had been. After a while he began to relax and soon he was fast asleep with his head in my lap. I knew that he probably hadn't had any amount of rest in the short time that he had been away. Everything I had to tell him could wait.

Hearing about his sister made me wonder if that was the reason why he didn't want children. His child would be her niece or nephew. Was that what he was really afraid of? My thoughts were still in a snarl as the soft groaning of my back door intruded on the silence of the home.

Since my immersion into the world of vampires, the sound had become synonymous with Wildlings coming to call. I was expecting a void but what I got was a mind so full of jealousy, anger and hate that it was barely recognizable.

I heard her mind and all her malicious thoughts. In that instant everything that I had chalked up as accidents had been intentional attempts to remove me from Eric's life.

It had all been her and she had done so thinking she and my husband belonged together. Instead of sheer fury, I felt bad that someone that was normally so level had suddenly become so unbalanced.

The truck nearly running me over at Arlene's wedding hadn't been an accident. It had been Dawn. The reason Jorah had crashed the car hadn't been because it was his first time driving. Dawn had cut the brakes to the car.

Tonight she had broken into the house to poison my favorite beverage, coffee. She had hung around Eric enough to know that he didn't drink it. I hated to do it but I woke Eric. Dawn was after all his wannabe mistress.

"Dawn is trying to kill me." I said.

He frowned and swatted at me. "That is not funny."

He wasn't amused well that made two of us. That was one of the drawbacks of being able to shield your mind if you were a telepath. After the onslaught, you shut out everything. That was why we had both missed this.

I knew when Eric registered the presence in the house. It didn't alarm him. He seemed curious until he saw exactly what I was seeing in Dawn's mind. A cold kind of fury stole the expression from his face. His whole body was vibrating. I took his hand to comfort him but mainly to keep him next to me. His fists balled at his sides and I knew he was thinking about killing her.

"Calm down." I cautioned. "I don't think it's her fault, listen."

We both watched Dawn through her own mind as she poisoned my coffee with eye drops. She thought that removing me even if only for a little while would make Eric want her. Her actions felt justified because she had seen me in town with Jorah. She knew what I had bought…

"This is my fault, I think." Eric said.

He walked into the kitchen to face her and I followed. At first Dawn was panicked to be caught red-handed. There was no anger or even judgment as Eric went to take her hand and led her to the table. I watched and listened as he attempted to reason with a crazy person.

"Dawn, we are suffering a severe lapse in understanding." Eric began gently.

Dawn clung to Eric's hand and shook her head vehemently. Her coppery brown hair swung and it did nothing to ease the manic almost desperate expression on her face. I just stood off against the door jamb wondering why I wasn't fighting the urge to hit her over the head with my heaviest pan.

"No, we can be together." She said. "You want to be with me. I can make you happy. I wouldn't be unfaithful to you with anyone, not like Sookie. Everyone knows she was in love with Sam and then the other Fella she went to the general store with. She was buying pregnancy tests and the baby isn't yours. It can't be."

I've never had the urge to kill before but I was mighty tempted in that moment. It spoke of the trust and faith that Eric had in me. He didn't even seem to hear Dawn. I could see the look of concentration on his face as gently but her under his thrall.

"Why do you believe I want you?" he asked.

"In the car, the way you kissed me was everything I ever wanted." She replied with a dreamy smile.

I could see the truth in her mind. I could even see the gaps that glamour had caused. In Dawn's mind she was indeed kissing Eric but the memory was almost too bright as if to blur out the truth.

Before biting her he put her under thrall to make sure she was calm and thinking happy things. The happy thing she had been thinking about was him. Even after he compelled her to forget the bite that memory of being happy with him had stayed. It had grown like a virus that had infected her mind. If I saw that I knew Eric did as well. He seemed genuinely remorseful.

"I have not fed from a human in a very long time." He said frowning. "I did not bury the encounter properly."

"What about me?" I asked.

"Love bites." He replied. "I bite you and share my blood when we make love it isn't painful and we are both very much aware."

Oh.

"The fixation must have been driving her mad. This behavior is strange for her, no?"

I nodded. Dawn was a lot of things but this level of depraved was not one of them.

Just like that I went from wanting and wishing I could punch Dawn to feeling sorry for her. I sat quietly as Eric tried to undo the damage a single interaction had caused.

"She will need to sleep here so I can be certain she is well." He said.

I nodded. As Eric finished up with Dawn, I made up the guest bedroom. I was still making the bed when I heard Dawn laugh and she sounded like the Dawn I had known. Her mind was conveniently mirroring that of an inebriated person but she was still her. The venom and jealousy that I had witnessed, the same one that had driven her to want to do me harm was gone.

"Sook don't gotta make me a bed." Dawn giggled. "The sofa woulda been plenty fine."

"You know that she would never." Eric said, as he helped her toward the room.

"I know. She's so nice." Dawn inserted.

When she saw me, she greeted me with a great big hug. "Sookie! Thanks for coming to pick me up, Hon."

"Sure thing, Dawn."

Together Eric and I laid her down and waited for her to fall asleep. It didn't take long. Her obsession had affected her sleep which only made things worse. When we were finally in bed, I wanted to tell Eric I was pregnant but the moment didn't seem right with Dawn here. I promised myself that I would do it the morning when she was gone and we were alone.

"What's wrong?" Eric asked, turning me around in his arms.

"Nothing," was my hasty reply

"Liar."

This was the point where I would usually smile and give him a sarcastic reply. I just couldn't manage it. I was happy that we were going to have a baby and I wanted him to be happy too. I didn't know if I would be able to handle it if he wasn't. Facing him now and feeling how much he loved me it quelled the worse of my anxiety.

"When you told me that you didn't want to have children because you didn't want to pass on your name, I don't think that's true at least not entirely."

"Why does this trouble you now?"

"It troubles you." I replied. "I honestly don't see how someone like you doesn't want children. I just think that you're afraid because of Freyda."

His expression closed off and I knew I was right.

"I don't get it. Why?"

"We are twins. Whatever turned her into this murderous thing is in us both."

That was what he was afraid of not himself or his name but having a child that was like his sister. My heart hurt for him. Pressure either created diamonds or dust. Under the pressures of the time and father and life that he had had Eric turned into a diamond and his sister turned to dust. She had crumbled and gave into hate. That wasn't hereditary.

I hugged him.

"I love you and our baby couldn't ask for a better father."

He pulled away and stared at me in confusion. "Our baby?"

"I'm pregnant."

If I had to put a label on his expression it was excited and nervous and somewhat confused. "I don't understand…how? You are human…the odds—"

I kissed him.

"I couldn't be happier." I said. "Shut up and be happy with me too."

He smiled. "I am. I will always be happy with you."


	37. Chapter 37

"Are you okay?" Eric asked me.

My husband was a bold man to be asking me that. He was either bold or stupid or out of his fucking mind. I wasn't sure which. I was in the throes of childbirth. Of all the wisdom that telepathy had offered me, this wasn't one of them. The pain of it was in a whole other stratosphere. Thanks to all the vampire blood in my system I was burning through pain drugs too quickly for it to offer any relief. It felt like I was being stabbed in the back and the stomach at the same time. It had only been six hours, and I knew that it wasn't going to get any less painful.

"If you ask me that again, I might kill you."

"Do you hate me yet?"

"I hate penises," I panted.

He laughed. "That's fair."

I rolled my eyes and annoyed as I was with him at the moment, I held onto his hand tighter. That bit of physical contact made everything feel not only bearable but possible. I felt like I could do this, despite the pain. The brief pause from the contractions allowed a moment that was pain free and I gazed up at my husband.

Everything that I felt since the moment I laid eyes on him was still true. He was still the most beautiful thing that I'd ever seen. His eyes were still were so enigmatic and his smile still made my heart flutter, even now and I didn't think it would ever stop.

"What?" Eric asked.

"You." I replied kissing the back of his hand. "I love you. I love you so much right now."

"Despite my penis?" he asked.

I laughed as a contraction ripped through my body. It was so painful that I felt like I could barely breathe but I told him the truth.

"Yeah, despite your penis…your good looks and anything else, I love you always."

It took ten more hours but I gave birth to a baby boy. His brother was born three minutes later. I watched as they took their first breath. The amount of love I felt was literally beyond words. The look on Eric's face was awed. He stared at this with tears in his eyes and his mouth hanging open.

Amelia tended to me. Octavia tended to my babies. I would never question her but it didn't seem like much of an exam to me. All she did was stare into their eyes and turn this way and that as if they were fruit. Then with a smile she handed them to Eric.

At first he seemed apprehensive to even want to touch them but she placed them in his arms, he received them expertly in his arms. I couldn't help but smile. My life was perfect and yet nothing like I ever envisioned. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was married to a vampire and our children were vampires. It was the love that I felt and the wholeness that I never knew was possible for a telepath like me.


End file.
